Boyfriend started being dry?

A 17-year-old girl has noticed her boyfriend (also 17) becoming distant after a month of dating. Initially, their connection felt strong—he was sweet, attentive, and listened to her deeply. However, during the holidays, he has prioritized gaming with friends and has become dry over text, not initiating conversations or engaging with her interests.

This shift in behavior contrasts with his early declarations of love, which she feels were premature and based on an idealized version of her. She suspects she may be a rebound since he recently ended another relationship, but he insists his feelings for her are genuine. read the original story below…

‘ Boyfriend started being dry?’

Me (17F) and my boyfriend (17M) have been together for about a month, and we met a month and a half ago. I understand this relationship doesn’t sound very serious since we are both still in highschool and it hasn’t been very long, but when we did first meet, it instantly clicked and out personality matched so well with eachother.

At first, he was super sweet and funny, and our conversations were fun and weren’t shallow at all. It was going great, and at this time, we were seeing eachother everyday because of school.

However, now that it’s the holidays, he’s been on a game with his mates a lot more, and I’m starting to feel like his always pushing me aside and prioritises his friends and games more than me. He’s been super dry over text.

He doesn’t text good morning or good night, and he never initiates the conversation. On the topic of conversation, they have just been so boring lately. If I try to talk about a new book that is reading or a new niche I’m getting into, he’s uninterested and doesn’t try to continue the conversation or ask me anything about it.

At the beginning of our relationship, he would always just listen to me talk about the most random stuff and I felt reassured that he would always listen to me regardless of whether he cares about it or not.

But now, I feel like he’s just completely lost interest, which is a bit ridiculous because he’s the one that said “I love you” so early on in the relationship. When I tried to explain to him that he doesnt know me well enough to love me and that he’s basing his judgement on a version of me that only shows after knowing me for a month,

he started saying stuff like, “love isn’t that complicated, you either feel it or you dont”. In my opinion, I don’t think love is that simple. Love is where you can reassure the other person in any situation, where you can forgive the other person easily, and especially where you can love them, even at their worst.

He hasn’t seen me at my worst. In fact, he’s only seen me at my best. I just find it a bit weird that he’s all talk, and his actions never reciprocate his words. If he loves me, then it should show through his actions,

and the fact that I put in more effort (asking to call, hangout, etc) just shows that his perception of love is much more shallow in comparison to mine. I think I feel more deeply for him than he does me, and I still wouldn’t use the word love to describe our dynamic.

Also, he had just gotten out of a relationship, where he was the one who broke it off, and his reason was that he “lost feelings.” I feel like im a rebound because he craves the intimacy that he had for so long and I confronted him about this and said that I am definitely not a rebound and that he has stronger feelings for me than anyone he’s ever talked to.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

angel_inthe_fire −  Paragraphs and punctuation PLEASE! I cannot read this. I tried.

totallynothacked −  Long term relationships need constant attention and open communication. You are young so this is a great time to learn. Bring up that you want more intimate time/dates with him. Bring up how it makes you feel when he dismisses you constantly for gaming friends.

And see how he responds. If he is empathetic and open to changing, that is a great sign of compatibility and maturity. If not, probably time to move on. I don’t think on general you need to be thinking in terms of ‘am I his rebound?’

because that is very self-deprecating and setting your mindset up to be like, I need to prove my worth. That is just not true. In any healthy romantic relationship both partners need to show respect and empathy for each other for the relationship to remain healthy and happy.

It’s understandable to feel hurt when a partner’s behavior changes, especially in a new relationship. Consider having an open, honest conversation about your feelings and expectations. His actions should align with his words if he truly values the relationship. What do you think? Share your thoughts below!