Boyfriend 25M drunk kissed another girl, what do I 24F do?
A 24-year-old woman is grappling with her boyfriend’s (25M) admission that he kissed another woman while drunk, calling it a “small kiss” that meant nothing. He confessed the next day, showing deep remorse and wanting to understand why it happened. While their year-long relationship has been loving, she feels hurt and unsure if she can move past the betrayal.
‘ Boyfriend 25M drunk kissed another girl, what do I 24F do?’
My (24F) boyfriend (25M) kissed another girl while drunk. Only a small kiss, confirmed nothing else happened. She was a friend of a friend they went out with that night, they have no history whatsoever.
Apparently they had some kind of serious heart to heart that night, and they kissed before going to their respective places via Uber. We’ve been together for about a year now. This is 100% cheating in my books.
He told me the day after (although he did text me in between like nothing happened). He is extremely remorseful and said it truly meant nothing to him, and he is working towards figuring out why it happened.
I do really love him and we have a lovely relationship but I feel like the pain he caused me makes it feel not worth it anymore. We are not speaking at the moment to give me space. Has anyone been in this situation? Just looking for some clarity and advice
EDIT – Thank you everyone for reading and for your support. Honestly, I need a lot of time to reflect on what I want and need. To answer some common questions, it was certainly a peck because this story has been corroborated by friends of mine and the actual girl he kissed.
He does not have a drinking problem — he rarely drinks or goes out with his friends without me, which also concerns me that of one the few times he did, this happened. I am not trying to make excuses for him, I’m just trying to show how difficult it is for me to understand why this happened.
I am so hurt and I can’t stop thinking about it. I am unfortunately someone who tends to forgive especially when I love the person, but I need to start respecting myself. I love him, but I love myself even more. Hopefully over the next few weeks I’ll get to where I need to be to make a final decision.
Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:
Stunning_Peach − If you stay then you have to put this past you. No throwing it in his face, no bringing it up during arguments, no secretly holding resentment. If you can’t do that then it’s best to walk away.
Rebuilding trust takes time and effort from both of you. You have to let him show you that you can trust him. If you can’t do that or don’t want to do that then walk away.
alreadyoverit1 − He cheated. He’s trying to “figure out what happened”? lol. He knows what he did. Can you ever trust him again? That’s up to you. I personally wouldn’t give a c**ater a second chance.
Complete-Design5395 − How do you know it was just a small kiss and nothing else? What was their heart to heart about? Why was he out drinking and having heart to hearts with her? Do you even believe him? Trust is fragile and once it’s gone, it’s gone. I’d break up and move on.
Literally nothing is stopping him from doing this again if you stay. He has no good reason for why he did it this time and there’d be 0 consequences. You can choose better for yourself. He can figure out “why” on his own time.
TheSpeckledSir − You’re right it’s 100% cheating. Drunk or not, your BF is an adult who surely knew better. If his impulse control is so pathetic that he could not help but cheat on you after a drink, that’s a him problem, too.
You could forgive him if you like. Couples have moved on from greater transgressions than this. But you don’t owe it to him, if you don’t want to. He fucked around. He can find out.
Hot_Lavishness_819 − Girl, plz. This is cheating 100%. NO ONE DOES THESE THINGS JUST BECAUSE THEYRE DRUNK THATS JUST AN EXCUSE
kukushibana − I had been in kinda similar situation and I tried to forget it and continue with her but I couldn’t do it properly. She tried a lot to reassure me but my trust was broken and I found myself doubting her here and there ever since.
It did get easier later but my issues with the past affected our present a lot and I broke up after a year since the incident. Now I realise my mistake was not taking time alone to heal at that moment itself. I was scared to lose her but couldn’t love her fully after that episode.
So I suggest you to take time off, could be weeks or months or years even. Breach of trust is a serious issue. Take a break and then make up your mind.. It’d be hard either way.
You can still have a lovely fulfilling relationship but I feel it’s necessary to think for a good while and make up your mind because this is a lot to process. If later, you decide to continue, make sure you are fully into making this work, as should he.
MadInk25 − You only know what they told you, be careful, friends cover for friends too and sometimes choose another friend over the other.
xKyla − Yikes… I’ve been grossly i**oxicated so many times and we all know you enter a different realm, so to speak. No matter how drunk I’ve gotten, I never have the urge to have any form of intimacy with someone else.
At my drunkest — stumbling, incoherent, and nearly passing out — I still think about my bf. Idk, I just can’t say being drunk is enough of an excuse…
Jbw76543 − You are only 24. Move on. He cheated and he is putting this on you by him stating he needs to understand. And can you even believe that they only kissed ? Is this the only time ? Once trust is broken you have to rebuild or move on but at the least give some time away
purodurangoalv − You soberly leave him 🤝
A young woman sits alone on her bed, deep in thought, holding her phone with a pensive expression. In the background, a message from her boyfriend is visible, expressing remorse. The atmosphere is tense but introspective, symbolizing her emotional turmoil.