AITAH: Told my sister to NOT show up when I go into labour?

A Reddit user (30F) is navigating a challenging family dynamic while in the final stages of her pregnancy. After a frustrating text exchange with her sister (34F), where her sister berated her for not being available to drive their mother (who has leg pain) on errands,

The user explained her own physical struggles during pregnancy, including severe pelvic pain and exhaustion. Despite her detailed explanation, her sister remained unsympathetic and refused to acknowledge her limitations.

When her sister later suggested visiting during labor, the Redditor felt unsupported and decided to ask her not to come. Now, she’s questioning whether her decision to ban her sister from the hospital is justified or if she’s being too harsh.To see how this emotional situation unfolded, read the full story below…

‘ AITAH: Told my sister to NOT show up when I go into labour?’

Last week, I (30F) woke up to a message from my sister (34F) at 730AM essentially berating me for sleeping too much and not driving my mom for an errand. For context, I’m 36 weeks 5 days pregnant. Last week, I was at 36 weeks. I sleep badly.

My belly is huge, gets in the way of sleep since I wake up often hurting from the belly being positioned incorrectly. I have acute pelvic girdle pain that makes lower body movement painful AF. I walk/function at a glacial pace and need to pee absurdly often.

This means I need to sleep until 9AM to make up for the disturbed sleep and exhaustion (I’m on sabbatical on account of the pregnancy). Additional context, my mother has varicose related leg pain and has been having a tough time walking recently.

On the day of, while I slept, she had walked herself to the nearest bus station and was waiting for a bus when my sister called her. My sister heard how tired my mom sounded and was angry that my mum had to resort to public transport in her condition instead of being driven (sister lives in another city, as do I. I’ve come home for labour).

So, at 730 AM when I woke up to pee and readjust myself for the 849278th time before falling asleep, my sister’s text came through. She curtly stated that I ought not to wait to be asked by my mom to be driven to places and that I should wake up every morning on time and “just do it”.

Confused, I asked her why she thought it was okay to expect me to anticipate my mother’s plan to run an errand when I was asleep (my mom hadn’t clued me into her plans) and in my 36TH WEEK OF PREGNANCY. This led to an argument over texts. I couldn’t believe her.

I asked her how did she find it so easy to empathise with my moms physical difficulties and not mine. Look, I am a fairly active (but very slow and often tired) pregnant woman. My day starts at 9AM and ends at 1130PM.

I run all errands for my mother in those hours which involve driving around and actively take care of all grocery shopping. I also help out with household chores, cooking, cleaning, laundry, playing with the dog and taking it for two walks during the day.

I replied to my sister with a gist of this and waited for her to revert. A week went by. I had a fetal complication today, and was travelling to the hospital for a possible emergency C-Section that was judged unnecessary and cancelled at the last minute.

So, my sister called me to discuss it and suggested that she travel to the city I’m in as soon as possible, in case I went into labour for real. I asked her why had she failed to wrap up the conversation from last week. She said she never read my texts to her because I had “written essays” and she couldn’t be bothered.

I told her that those “essays” described my actual physiological troubles that would help her understand my physical limitations in my 9th month of pregnancy. She says, “why there’s nothing wrong with you. You drive all the time. Why can’t you drive mom early morning”.

She coldly asserted she wasnt changing her stance on the matter, and stood by her suggestion from last week. Feeling really shaken by her response, I asked her not to visit when I go into labour since she didn’t seem to care much for my wellbeing at a vulnerable point in my life.

She replied that she wasn’t coming for my sake anyway, she was coming to support my mother who was likely to be stressed once I went into labour. I told her neither her nor my mother are expected to be present during my labour, only my husband is.

So there is no cause to expect anyone to be inconvenienced on that count. And then, once again I reiterated that she was not to visit when I go into labour.

I feel this very strongly now because I know seeing her will only make me incredibly sad and bitter at her complete lack of interest in my wellbeing. At the same time, I can’t help but feel guilty. So, AITAH?

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

TagYoureItWitch −  Tell the L & D nurses that they are too NOT be allowed to see you. Those women are no joke and not to be messed with. You need to focus on you and that baby. Stay safe op.. Updateme!

CurlyNaturally −  NTA. PLEASE PROTECT YOUR PEACE!! Your sister is acting like a d**che canoe and she can now take over as your mom’s taxi service. I hope she doesn’t expect any sympathy from you when/if she gets pregnant. I’d be going NC post-partum to save yourself the hassle from your sister’s holier than thou attitude.

borahaebooksies −  Put in your chart who is and isn’t allowed to visit you.

lapsteelguitar −  1) The only thing you should have told your sister is: “Mom & I did NOT have plans to go to the store. Thus, I was unaware of her plans. And I won’t be held responsible for her actions.” The rest of what you said, while doubtless true, is unnecessary. And it gives her ammunition to argue about/with.

You don’t have to justify your moms decisions. 2) Don’t tell your sister ANYTHING she does not need to know. And you define “need”, not her. 3) Tell the hospital who is on your “allowed” list. Assuming that you have a SO, their job is to enforce your wishes with the attitude of a Mafia hitman.. NTA

lemonnpopp −  NTA for setting boundaries with your sister—she has been inconsiderate of your physical and emotional needs during a vulnerable time, and you have every right to prioritize your well-being and peace during labor.

Condensed_Sarcasm −  NTA in the slightest. Please tell the hospital, and your husband, your wishes for labor so they can uphold your demands for your sister and mom to not be there.

Your sister has a very selfish outlook on things and you don’t need that stress. If your mom feels the need to fuss about you to your sister, maybe you should just relax for the rest of your pregnancy and let your nosy AF sister take on your duties.

Business-Document318 −  NTA it’s *your* labour, not a family reunion. She’s more concerned about what *she* thinks you owe your mom than your own well-being. You have a right to set boundaries, especially when you’re literally in the most physically vulnerable stage of your life.

TarzanKitty −  Why are you staying with your mom right now? You should be relaxing at home being cared for by your husband right now. Not, taking care of your mother.

Critical_Item_8747 −  Where is your husband right now? Wtf?

KrofftSurvivor −  NTA – Tell the admissions people, tell your labor and delivery nurses, and your physician: NO ONE except your husband is to be be admitted. NO ONE except your husband is to be given any information whatsoever.. NO exceptions.

Your birth is a time for you, your new little one, and your partner. There is no room for anyone bringing any type of negative energy whatsoever, anywhere near you.

Do you think the Redditor was right to ban her sister from being present during her labor after feeling unsupported, or did she take it too far? Would you handle the situation differently when balancing family dynamics during a vulnerable time? Share your thoughts and experiences below!