AITAH telling my wife not everyone can be autistic?

A man (30) has been concerned about his wife (28) who frequently scrolls through TikTok, where she’s been consuming a lot of content about autism, particularly from individuals spreading messages about “being accepted for your autistic traits.” The content often lacks constructive advice and focuses on struggles and “everyone is autistic” messages, which the man finds depressing.

He snapped one day and told her, “we can’t all be autistic,” during a moment of frustration. His wife had a breakdown and called him an asshole for dismissing her experience. He feels bad for how he handled it but is frustrated by the content that seems to be draining her energy and contributing to her emotional state. Read the full story below.

‘ AITAH telling my wife not everyone can be autistic?’

Long story short she’s been getting A LOT of autistic themed content from “awareness spreaders” I don’t wanna call them influencer cause I don’t think they fall into that category, mostly because the videos always have this “just want people tonsee us” type messages.

But it’s tons of content around “being accepting of your autistic traits” and what not. And there’s no guidance from these people. Just “I can’t function under this situation (end of video)” type content….like idk if you have a strong following and publishing content like this suggesting ways to cope would be …idk helpful?

But instead she gets fed these “everyone has the tism” and it’s just super depressing content that doesn’t make her feel good just confirms an undiagnosed opinion, so during another scroll session on ticktock I just snapped and was like “geez what happened to the funny animals and comedians it’s all this depressing autistic content…we can’t all be autistic”….to which she started a fight where she had a breakdown and called me an a**hole.

I get I didn’t handle the situation well but doom scrolling and getting fed this “everyone’s autistic” content isn’t helping her stint of unemployment it’s literally draining hours a day out of her life with no positives. When I get into a sit and rest stage do I scroll, of course just like everyone, but I’m trying to find content to make me smile and laugh… I’m consistently using this “don’t show me this” setting specifically so when I do have this time I can smile, laugh, whatever so I’m not just circling the drain of depression these apps are geared towards.

See what others had to share with OP:

Cybermagetx −  Nta. As someone who is autisitic. Majority of the people don’t have to change clothes dozens of times cause suddenly something is off and your shirt no longer feels right. And then every shirt feels off. And you go through the limited numbers of shirts you have that dont bother you to come to the first shirt, that now feels right. And yes that just happened to me this morning. Went through all 18 of my shirts in one morning cause none of them worked.

Shot_Turnover −  NTA imo. TikTok is entertainment at best brain rotting at worst. I wouldn’t take advice from anyone on there seriously. So many people listen to online “ influencers” the same way they made fun of the previous generation for believing in random Facebook posts.

Savings_Vermicelli39 −  Everyone has autism, add, adhd, anxiety, depression, OCD, and everything else you can think of. I mean, not officially diagnosed by a professional, but they all still have it. The internet told them so, and also, the more things they have, the easier it is to win at victim bingo.

MotherTeresaOnlyfans −  If everyone was actually autistic, our society would look profoundly different and autistic people wouldn’t have a huge number of the challenges that we actually have. “Everyone’s autistic” is just erasing our lived reality.

mahrog123 −  NTA. I feel you. I’ve got a SIL that in 10 years went from conservative far,far left drinker california “sober” omnivore preachy vegan… And now she has decided she has autism. She’s 56. She is the antithesis of an autistic person. I have a son with Autism and these people that have decided to co-opt this “fashionable” disability infuriate me.

Think_Reindeer4329 −  Unfortunately, personalities are now a diagnosis. Ppl need to stop believing everything they see, read, and hear. My question is, so say she is autistic. What changes for you and her?

Frequent_Hope_8383 −  Those ones who can’t work because of “social anxiety”. Yeah, I have a bit of social anxiety myself. You know what else gives me anxiety? The thought of living in my car.

Aggravating_Leek_648 −  Nta. I went through a similar thing with an ex. Me pointing out that everyone has traits but it doesn’t make them autistic and just cause I have traits of adhd from TikTok doesn’t mean I have adhd since my doctor says I don’t. I told them if they really think they have autism, they should see a therapist/doctor about it. Within 2 weeks he told me I was emotionally a**sive and g**lighting him. TikTok can help people but it’s hurting people as well.

Clive_Elkins −  These things can be really heartbreaking. Especially in this day and age where mountains of disinformation are presented as expert truth and advice. Its a delicate situation, she should seek a professional to talk to and evaluate if she is really having trouble.

I worry about people when they are captured by a label. She may be trying to defend a part of her self-image and feels threatened if you don’t accept her potential condition the way she has been instructed to be treated.
its not an a**hole move to have a legitimate curiosity. The world has got to learn to reflect and ask questions.. Good luck.

FalseAd4246 −  90 percent of the comments I see on Reddit are from people claiming to have autism. Oh I don’t like cabbage so I must be autistic! Type posts.