AITAH? Sister announced our pregnancy on social media before we did. I sided with my wife ?

A man and his wife, expecting twins, were upset when his sister announced their pregnancy on Facebook before they had a chance to tell the wife’s family. They had requested privacy due to the high-risk nature of the pregnancy, but the sister posted anyway, leading to unwanted attention from distant family and acquaintances.

When confronted, the sister defended her actions, deleted the post, and portrayed herself as a victim, further frustrating the couple. Read the original story below…

‘ AITAH? Sister announced our pregnancy on social media before we did. I sided with my wife ?’

 Im 38 and my sister is 40. It wasnt that we were “keeping a secret”. My family is here in the same city we live, her family is not. Her family also doesnt speak english so we werent able to tell both families at the same time. And it was the very next day that my sister made the post.

Its the principal that someone made it public before we had the chance to tell all of our loved ones. My wife also has reasons for not telling certain members of her family yet that are nobodys business but hers, respectfully. So we found out we were pregnant at the end of August. In September we found out we were having twins.

We waited until about 13 weeks to tell my family and asked them to not post anything until we tell my wifes family (they are all in Brazil). Well my sister just chose not to listen and posted a huge “sentimental” post on her FB gushing about how shes so excited to be an aunt. This obviously upset my wife and also angered me.

I called her and we had a chat. I shared that I was very let down that she chose to do something so s**fish but also disregarding our request to not post anything yet. Her response was “I dont have any of her family or friends on my facebook so its not like i ruined the surprise for them.”

We had a back and forth and it ended with her being upset. My sister is a very emotional person and we have a very strong relationship, always have but I couldnt just let this go. My sister is now playing the guilt card and trying to make me feel s**tty for having to be an AH to her. Shes deleted the post now but the damage was done.

We had distant family members reach out to congratulate us and also a bunch of randoms we dont even know. Its really upsetting that a bunch of strangers know about our pregnancy before my wifes family. Ive also had a couple of these randoms message me asking “Why did you make your sister take her post down?”

Clearly shes playing the victim with them… Ugh its just so unfortunate…

See what others had to share with OP:

Far_Information_9613 −  NTA. Your sister violated a boundary and is upset you called her on it. Now you know to tell her things last.

Shichimi88 −  Nta. Keep her on info diet. No knowledge of the gender for her.

CaptainBeefy79 −  NTA, that wasn’t her announcement to make. Your sister is a s**fish b**t who obviously can’t be trusted with anything in the future.

efgrigby −  NTA.Your sister sounds m**ipulative. There are several phrases in your account that are HUGE red flags. Are you mistaking being kept on a short rope for being close? Does your “strong” relationship with your sister benefit you both equally?

Emergency_Exit_4714 −  Please consider how often your sister does these sorts of things, then resorts to guilt and manipulation. At face value, it sounds like your sister has narcissistic traits, particularly by playing the victim to family.

NTA and my best advice would be to talk with your partner and come up with a plan together. May be time for LC or NC if needed, because if this isn’t addressed, your sister will very likely violate your boundaries again once your babies are born.

wendue −  NTA. It was not her news to tell. The audacity!

Ok_Bit1981 −  NTA.Your sister centered this around her. Did she even mention you and your wife? Or was it all about her being an aunt? Doesn’t matter, she still sucks. Her entitlement and lack of respect for the boundaries you set are beyond spoiled. And to top it off, she’s refusing to comprehend the gravity of her actions and apologize. It might be time to distance yourself until she comes to her senses.

Careless_Welder_4048 −  NTA. If you don’t take a stand now, she will continue to walk over you and your wife. I’m glad you stood up to her. Start telling people she’s s**fish.

MyHairs0nFire2023 −  NTA.  Your wife’s current medical status is NO ONE else’s business unless she chooses to disclose it to them & even then that doesn’t give them the right to go publicize in social media.

The fact that your wife’s current medical condition will hopefully produce 2 healthy children who will be related to your sister also does not somehow authorize her to publicize your wife’s current medical condition.

Your sister was WAY over the line to post anything at all unless she had permission to do so from your wife.  She was an AH just for that alone.  But she is upgrading herself to a super-sized AH by revealing her n**cissism.  (She’s actively trying to turn herself into the victim & you into the offender who did wrong.

That’s literally textbook narcissistic behavior.)   Instead of using time & energy being a n**cissist  AH trying to turn herself into the victim & you into the offender, she should be putting time & energy into apologizing profusely & sincerely to you & (especially) your wife for publicizing your wife’s medical condition online without your wife’s consent. She wasn’t e**itled to do that & nothing she says changes that.  

seulgislotion −  How hard is it to respect someone’s wishes and keep your gob shut 😭 what an annoying sister

Do you think the sister overstepped, or should the couple let it go? Share your thoughts below!