AITAH? My sisters husbands wants to take a second wife?

A Reddit user shares their frustration over their sister’s situation, where her husband, who works long hours and recently hired a female employee, has expressed his desire to take a second wife.

Despite the emotional betrayal, the sister is considering staying and agreeing to this unconventional arrangement, citing reasons like helping with the kids and her husband’s assertion that they are alike.

The user is shocked and believes their sister should leave him, but the sister is unsure. Read the full story below to learn more about the situation and the tough decisions involved.

‘ AITAH? My sisters husbands wants to take a second wife ?’

My sister’s been married for 10 years and has 4 kids (all 5 and under) and her husband owns his own business. He works 12-14 hour days working on cars, and is never home. Last year he decided to hire a sole employee which was a female.

My sister is a stay at home mom, has no car, and has no access to any funds or the business. He just told her that he’s in love with his employee and wants to bring her into the home they have with their children as a 2nd wife. He has told my sister that he has only kissed this new woman and nothing else and she believes him!

I told her she needs to leave, because it’s clear that he is in love with this other woman (which he said himself), and he wants my sister to be ok with it. The crazy thing to me is, that she’s actually considering staying and agreeing to this!

Her reasoning behind it is because he is telling her that she and the new woman are a lot alike and can be (best friends) and he is also telling her she can help with the kids. I told her she is INSANE for thinking about agreeing to this. AITAH?

See what others had to share with OP:

unnamedUserAccount −  NTA. Seems like a fishy situation. You should continue to look out for your sister.

Express-Voice785 −  Your sister is probably so tired from running a household with four children that she welcomes someone taking over the care of her fifth child.

Rad1Red −  SAY WHAT? NTA, f**king lol. But prepare yourself, your sister is hella dumb and he will manipulate her into doing this.

Sera_YA −  Is the wife allowed to bring a second husband home too? 

sparks772 −  4 kids under 5, all she heard was “she can help with the kids”…. SOLD!

iknowsomethings2 −  Hell no. Nothing against poly relationships but this should be decided by both beforehand. He’s just a c**ater and she’s in a s**t and frankly a**sive/controlling situation. You need to talk some sense into her and get her out of that marriage. This will destroy her self esteem.

Lazy_Koala_698 −  Normally I have nothing against polyamory, but it requires consent from both sides, before anything happens. This situation smells like abuse. She depends on him financially, and has small kids – which possibly made him think he might have a cake and eat a cake (keep a family and have an open affair).

She should never agree to that. And if by any possibility she does agree – the agreement should be mutual – she should be able to find some other “husband” for herself. It’s really bad there are kids involved. As always in such situation – they will suffer most.. NTA

throwitaway3857 −  NTA. She needs to leave. She’ll get alimony and child support

wacky_spaz −  When I was a much younger man I did an engineering apprenticeship. The guy that gave it to me brought a second woman home as a second wife, although in fairness they were Muslims.

I use Muslims loosely as most European Muslims are Muslims of culture rather than what you see amongst Arabs or Pakistanis etc. ie no headscarf, most drink, most eat non halal etc. All that said, wife 1 fought fire with fire and went to imam.

She wanted a house for her as is her right under Islam, equal pocket/spending money, equal night with him, equal everything. And her kids were hers alone. Dude didn’t earn enough to maintain two middle class houses… She then went on a worse offensive.

New young wife would give advice about existing kids who were just shy of being teens and wife 1 would slap her each time she spoke telling her to have her own kids to mother. If he was late with monthly money – right to mosque she goes to complain where he is told he’s failing and to up his game.

This became the running joke as all the fun of a new young wife was sucked out by original wife. He had no spare money for nice things, no money after having to buy a second house, couldn’t sit there having wild fun with new young wife as original demanded her equal time and equal s**.

He was a non practicing Muslim too so to get support he suddenly had to stop drinking and eating non halal but wife 1 outmanoeuvred him and played the pious woman and wore a headscarf first time in her life. Months went by, he looked horrible.

Wife 1 was destroying him, new wife was unhappy as he couldn’t buy her nice things, kids hated him and being European most people in community looked at him like he’s in stone ages with two wives and/or they laughed at how wife 1 beat him at his game.

Long story short, wife 1 won. New wife left without expensive gifts and he went crawling back. At that point wife 1 divorced him and laughed telling everyone the story. He lost his business and I lost my apprenticeship / practical part of my degree and had to find someone else.

Your story reminded me of this with one key difference. Your sister is in an a**sive marriage. She has no access to money or freedom. Polygamy whether it’s Islam of fdls is based upon the wife choosing to permit a sister wife and equal treatment.

Equal access to money. Equal everything. Your brother in law is giving his girlfriend money (via a job) and freedom and treating your sister like a maid and an incubator.

If she has any self esteem left, she needs to go to police and get a lawyer first. More than likely he’s been abusing her for a long time and now she’ll accept it and live a half life and I hope you can support her to leave.. Updateme

bcatrek −  They’re muslim?

Do you think the user is right in urging their sister to leave her husband, or is she wrong to question her sister’s decision to possibly accept the situation? How would you handle being in her shoes? Share your thoughts below!