AITAH: My Coworker Went on Sick Leave for 4 Weeks After I Refused to Do a Task She Assigned Me?

A Reddit user shares their experience of declining a task assigned by a coworker, Lisa, that wasn’t part of their job description. After the refusal, Lisa went on a four-week sick leave citing stress and anxiety, leaving the team to handle her workload. Now, the user is grappling with guilt and wondering if they were wrong to prioritize their boundaries over Lisa’s unspoken struggles. Read the story below.

‘ AITAH: My Coworker Went on Sick Leave for 4 Weeks After I Refused to Do a Task She Assigned Me?’

About a month ago, lets call her “Lisa” asked me to handle a task that, frankly, was outside my job description and directly part of her responsibilities. It wasn’t a huge task, but it was time-consuming and with my, and I already had a packed schedule. Plus, it seemed unfair that she was trying to offload her work onto me especially since I don’t get paid more for doing others work and with rising costs I have more on my plate.

I politely but firmly told her, “Sorry, I can’t take this on right now. Maybe we can talk to the manager about redistributing tasks if you’re o**rwhelmed?” She just nodded, said, “Okay,” and walked away.

The next day, Lisa didn’t come to work. I didn’t think much of it at first, but then she called in sick for the rest of the week. Fast forward, and now it’s been four weeks of her being on sick leave. I heard through the office grapevine that she told HR she’s dealing with stress and anxiety because of “workplace tension and the rise in the cost of living here in South Africa”.

This is where I start feeling guilty. Did my refusal to do the task trigger something for her? I genuinely didn’t mean to upset her, I just didn’t think it was fair to d**p her work on me. But now I’m wondering if I misread the situation. Maybe she was struggling more than I realized, and my response pushed her over the edge?

Now, the workload is heavier for everyone because Lisa’s tasks are being reassigned to the rest of us. Some coworkers have started making comments like, “Well, if someone had just helped Lisa out, maybe she wouldn’t be gone for so long.” I know they’re not directly blaming me, but it still stings. Am I the a**hole by feeling this way? Should I have just done the task to avoid this whole situation? Or is this something Lisa needs to take accountability for?

These are the responses from Reddit users:

_I_like_big_mutts −  Lisa should have discussed this with management. You are not at fault.

ElysiX −  “Well, if someone had just helped Lisa out, maybe she wouldn’t be gone for so long.” That sentiment is how you get exploited as employees. That *someone* should be the company hiring more workers to distribute the load incase Lisa just has more work assigned than is reasonably handleable, or firing Lisa and replacing her with someone better if she’s just particularly bad at handling her job. NTA.

user_is_suspended −  Finding coverage is management’s responsibility, not employees.

Specific-Chest-5020 −  This has nothing to do with you. Don’t try to take accountability for everything happened around you.

SnooCupcakes780 −  You did nothing wrong. This girl was clearly at a brink of a burn out. That task was just another desperate attempt to stay above the water but what happened would have happened anyway. And you didn’t know about her situation, you didn’t knowingly not help her being overworked as it is. Don’t worry, maybe send her a nice car and flowers, it would probably warm her heart to know that you’re thinking about her.

deannawol −  NTA. Your suggestion was the appropriate one. If she was that close to the edge, she should have been speaking to her manager. They could then have looked at workload and reassessed.

Pristine-Mastodon-37 −  I’m a manager and it is 100% the management’s job to solve this problem for/with her. You did nothing wrong and suggested the right solution to her.. NTA.

evil_regal031 −  NTA. If anything it sounds like Lisa was going through the stages of burnout.. it seems like it could have been anxiety as well. I’m South African and the cost of living is getting to the point of where we all are stressing out. It sounds like this was something that was going to be inevitable whether or not you helped her out.

It seems like it should have been something management should have looked into. Also if you had taken her workload on top of your own heavy workload, you could have also been pushed to the brink of where this could be you next time.

Zieglest −  NAH. She hasn’t gone on sick leave because you said you wouldn’t do her work. She’s gone on sick leave because she’s struggling. She tried to avoid this first by asking for help, and you very reasonably refused, but at that point she realised she couldn’t cope and went off.

Aggressive_Crazy8268 −  NTA – this is between Lisa and management, either Lisa went to management and they refused, or she never went to management for help which leads one to wonder why – regardless this is a management problem and not yours.