AITAH: My Coworker Went on Sick Leave for 4 Weeks After I Refused to Do a Task She Assigned Me?

In any workplace, balancing responsibilities and asserting personal boundaries is a tricky tightrope walk. In today’s story, a 33-year-old man recounts how a simple refusal to take on an extra task turned into a cascade of unforeseen consequences. When his coworker “Lisa” asked him to do a task that was clearly outside his job description, he politely declined, suggesting they speak to the manager about redistributing tasks.

What seemed like an innocent stand for fairness quickly spiraled out of control when Lisa ended up on a four-week sick leave, citing stress and anxiety due to workplace tension. This unexpected fallout has left him second-guessing his decision and wondering if his “no” might have contributed to her extended absence.

Now, as her responsibilities are being reassigned to the rest of the team—and coworkers begin to murmur that perhaps a little extra help might have prevented Lisa’s meltdown—the question lingers: Is he the asshole for insisting on his workload boundaries, or should he have bent to avoid triggering her stress? Let’s break down the situation and explore the broader implications of setting limits at work.

‘ AITAH: My Coworker Went on Sick Leave for 4 Weeks After I Refused to Do a Task She Assigned Me?’

Expert Opinion:

Workplace boundaries and task distribution are hot topics among organizational psychologists and HR professionals. Dr. Susan Heathfield, a well-known HR expert, explains, “In any workplace, it’s crucial for employees to understand and assert their job responsibilities.Saying no to tasks outside your role isn’t about being unhelpful—it’s about protecting your workload and ensuring fairness.” Her insight reinforces that the decision to refuse additional tasks is not inherently selfish; rather, it’s a necessary step to prevent burnout.

Dr. Heathfield further notes, “When one employee consistently refuses tasks that belong to another, it can sometimes trigger unexpected stress responses in that person. However, each individual is ultimately responsible for managing their own workload and stress levels.”

In this case, while the husband’s refusal might have inadvertently contributed to Lisa’s stress, the responsibility for her reaction lies with her own stress management and work environment—not on someone else’s reasonable boundary-setting.

Furthermore, by encouraging a discussion with management rather than simply accepting the extra work, he was advocating for a fair distribution of responsibilities, which is essential in a healthy work culture.

Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman also highlights the importance of clear communication in professional settings: “When expectations aren’t explicitly discussed, misunderstandings can lead to a cascade of repercussions.

It’s important for employees to communicate openly about what is and isn’t part of their job responsibilities.” This perspective supports the idea that the husband’s decision was both justified and necessary, even if the fallout was harsher than anticipated.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Several redditors expressed strong support for his stance, with one user stating, “You have every right to say no when someone tries to offload extra work onto you, especially if it’s not in your job description. If Lisa is struggling, that’s on her—not you.”

Another group shared their own experiences of being overwhelmed by unreasonable requests at work, commenting, “It’s better to set boundaries early on. If someone is going to get stressed about their own workload, they need to manage that themselves rather than dumping it on someone else.”