AITAH? My (47M) son (28M) cheated on his pregnant wife (25F), and now I’d rather support her than him?

A Reddit user shared a heart-wrenching family situation where his son (28M) cheated on his pregnant and bedridden wife (25F), leading to a dramatic family fallout. The father, disgusted by his son’s behavior, chose to support his daughter-in-law instead, bringing her into their home and helping her through the emotional devastation.

Confronting his son only escalated tensions, resulting in broken belongings and further hurtful accusations. The user’s mother insists “blood is thicker than water” and accuses him of not standing by his son. Now, the user questions if they’re in the wrong for prioritizing his daughter-in-law over his own child. Read the full story below.

‘ AITAH? My (47M) son (28M) cheated on his pregnant wife (25F), and now I’d rather support her than him?’

Me and my wife (48F) have 3 kids, and this one is the oldest. Admittedly, we made some mistakes with him. He was unplanned, we had him very young. We were both balancing school and work and he was always… troubled. I thought we had done some work, mended some bridges, and that he got over the issues of his younger days.

When he got married my wife & I were so happy, and we thought she was wonderful, and that she brought out the best in him, and when they told us she was pregnant earlier this year, we were so happy. I can’t wait to be a grandpa.

Well the pregnancy is now at-risk, and my DIL had to go on bedrest. She can barely get out of bed at all, and me, my wife and his two sisters (21 & 17) have been doing our best to help her since she doesn’t really have anyone. With her bedridden, we really thought it was my son’s chance to step up. Well… he didn’t.

DIL called my wife a few weeks ago, and she was really upset. We were worried something was wrong with her pregnancy and rushed over. Well… she showed us his tablet. it was connected to his whatsapp and he had some very very explicit conversations with a woman.

And not only that – he was talking s**t about his wife, how she was faking her pregnancy being at risk, how only that other woman understood him, and how sexy she was compared to his wife who was bloated and had stretch marks, and he would totally leave his wife for her once she was done with her pregnancy and he “made sure it wasn’t his”, and how she was “entitled” and “expecting him to wait on her hand and foot”, and his family were “giving him the stink-eye”, and “kept lecturing him”

So not only did he start spending more time out of the house, leaving us to care for his wife, he actually went out and cheated on her, and was badmouthing her and us as he did. Again, he cheated on his pregnant, bedridden wife. Instead of taking care of her. I’m am getting angry even typing this.

So we helped our DIL pack her bag, and took her over to our house, where we decided we’d wait for him to check on her, except he never did. For 2 days she was basically staying at our house. My wife took a day off work, and my youngest stayed home from school, and they’ve been basically supporting her the best they can since.

When it’s been two days and he still hadn’t checked in, I went over to his apartment, where I found him just chilling, playing his PS5. I went ballistic. I told him I couldn’t believe what a piece of s**t I raised, and that this is no way to treat your family. He just kind of shrugged and said that we’ve always treated him like s**t anyway, so this was all our fault, and she was cheating on him first. I asked how did he know and did he have any proof.

He said some b**lshit about her not wanting to quit her job and some guy from work looking at her funny at some work event or some s**t, and there couldn’t possibly be any reason for her to not want to quit her job and stay at home if she wasn’t banging that guy. So why should he care about her.

I told him those were f**king excuses, and if he really thought that he wouldn’t be pawning off taking care of her on us, to which he said he was totally right to, because we always treated him like s**t and he didn’t owe us explanations. I told him to get fucked and things got even more heated after that, ending up with me smashing his PS5 against a wall and him kicking the side mirror of my car and breaking it off as I was driving off.

By the time I got home my wife was crying, because he already called her up and yelled at her, and even falsely and stupidly said that we kidnapped his wife, and also he was demanding we pay for his PS5, which is absolutely insane to me, because we bought him that for his birthday two years ago. She was very distraught and it took me a long time to calm her down.

The next day my own mother called me, because my son reached out to her, and she started admonishing me for not standing up for my son, because blood is thicker than water etc. I told her she can also get fucked because of our own drama from my childhood and that’s some nerve she got calling me out, but also it’s nothing new that she’d justify and excuse horrible behaviour like she did with my dad and step dad.

She echoed my son’s accusation, and I told her that was very rich coming from her, because she and my dad and their cheating is exactly why I know how much s**t it can cause to a family, and she told me it was in the past. I reiterated she can get fucked because it wasn’t in the past. It was literally now. My son was, as we speak, cheating on his wife, and she was, in this very moment, giving me s**t about it and excusing his behavior. She kept arguing with me until I got frustrated and hung up.

In the weeks since – my DIL has basically been inconsolable. She’s been staying with us and me, my wife and my youngest daughter had been doing our best to support her through this. We’d sit with her and watch TV or talk or have family meals, and we’re doing our best, but she’s clearly devastated.

He’s been sending her threats of divorce, of how she’s going to remain alone and unloved and a single mom and won’t have anyone if she doesn’t come back, and it got so bad we just told her to block him, and when he tried that s**t with my wife she told him the way he was acting he was the one who’s gonna remain alone. We’ve told DIL we’ll stick by her no matter what, and as far as we’re concerned she is family and we love her. She seems grateful but still very sad, understandably.

My son has been pestering us too, growing more and more aggressive until everyone just blocked him on everything. My mom keeps telling me about that “blood thicker than water” BS but you know what? F**k that. Maybe we weren’t the best parents to my son, as we left him with my mom a lot as we had to go to school and work, and maybe he felt neglected, and maybe that was why he was acting out.

But still I just can’t excuse treating the woman he supposedly loves this way, making up what I’m pretty sure are total lies about her and not even trying to apologize or make any sort of amends. So f**k blood – I choose the DIL who has been nothing but loving and wonderful to all of us and needs us now over the son who’s been difficult and has now turned into the worst piece of s**t adult. So there – I said it.

My son is a piece of s**t and I think I might hate him. Maybe it’s my fault, maybe I should have been different when he was a child, but this is how things are right now, and I want nothing to do with him. So here I am, looking for validation inline. AITAH? Does my mom have a point?

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Spirited-Ad6144 −  NTA. Your son is just looking for excuses not to be a father.

Electrical-Shine957 −  At this junction my response would be what is the best possible situation for my future grandchild and what do I need to do to make sure that child is secure, loved and supported.

HoshiJones −  NTA. I’m sorry your son turned out the way he has. And maybe you and your wife did make some mistakes when you were raising him. But he’s an adult, and he’s responsible for his own assholery. He sounds like a horrible human being, and until he reforms (if he ever does, which is doubtful), then all of you deserve the peace his absence from your lives will bring.

Excellent_Star_153 −  Parenting is hard. My son left his pregnant gf for another woman who was married and refuses to acknowledge she’s pregnant with his baby. I talk to her several times a week (they’re in a different state) but haven’t spoken to him since mid summer. Partially his choice bc he typically “hides out” when he’s making horrible life decisions. This is out of character for him.

In fact I don’t even recognize this person but my husband and I have to support the vulnerable and hurt parties and she’s carrying our first grandchild. He may be choosing to miss this but we will not. We’ll be there for her every step of the way. Good luck with yours and congrats on the Grandbaby.

Lost_Needleworker285 −  Nta. Tell your mother your daughter in law is carrying her blood so that “blood is thicker then water” s**t can’t be a argument to choose him over her (not that it could anyway considering the full verse is “the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb” which is the complete opposite of what she’s trying to argue).

Hot-Purchase-1050 −  Omg, your son is straight up trash for what he did. You’re totally right to support your DIL—she’s the one who needs you right now, not him. Like, he cheated on her while she’s pregnant and bedridden? That’s messed up. Don’t let anyone guilt-trip you into taking his side, especially not your mom. Blood might be thicker than water, but your DIL is family too, and she deserves better. You’re doing the right thing.

enonymousCanadian −  You are gonna have to get your temper under control if there is gonna be a baby around. And don’t let your 17 year old skip school for the drama, your wife was home and able to help. You need to get things calm, for the sake of the baby and the mother’s blood pressure. Let your mother’s calls go to voicemail and no more violence – breaking things is crazy behaviour and will lead to people getting hurt.

Wait-What1327 −  NTA. You should help her get a divorce attorney.

BeingSamJones −  NTA. My ex cheated while I was pregnant and I found out right after our kid was born. My MIL went nuclear on him as did the rest of his family. I will never forget their support during that time, because my entire world imploded in that moment.

ShadowSaiph −  NTA. Good for you and your wife to stand up and help DIL when it’s clear she was the person who was wronged. As for your mother, you can tell her that her quote is incomplete because the full one is “blood of the covenant is thicker than water of the womb” meaning the family you choose means more than blood.