AITAH – I purposely didn’t buy my nephew a donut?
A Reddit user shared their frustration about dealing with an entitled nephew and their decision to skip buying him a treat after he repeatedly disrespected and mistreated their family. This sparked a heated reaction from the child and their mother, leading to the question of whether the choice was justified. Read the full story below.
‘ AITAH – I purposely didn’t buy my nephew a donut?’
My sister and her son (6) moved in with my wife and our two daughters (10, 5) after an abrupt and messy divorce. He has two older half siblings, but they’re both teenagers and never really wanted anything to do with him, so he’s basically been treated like an only child.
Because of this fact, he behaves like a complete b**t.
He doesn’t share with my kids, even though they share with him. He’s incredibly rude to my wife and me.. He treats my kids like garbage.
He basically stares at an iPad or plays video games all day with my sisters new boyfriend and acts like the most obnoxious twitch streamer you could possibly imagine.
He’s a complete tattletale and tries to get my kids in trouble for things that they can just sort out on their own. Whilst being an absolute crybaby when my kids bring up his poor behaviors. He totally lost it when my daughter got presents on her birthday, because he thought he should be getting things as well.
To the point that my sister just went out and bought him a bunch of new toys. My sister’s boyfriend will take him out for milkshakes and he’ll walk back into the house to rub it in my kids faces. Obviously I could go on for days. And obviously it’s my sister and her ex husband who have created this monster by shrugging off these behaviors.
But while we were out yesterday, I stopped and got my kids donuts because they behaved incredibly well while I had to run errands. And whenever we do such a thing, I make sure to grab something for my nephew. I decided not to this time. Knowing exactly what was going to happen when we got back home.
He, of course, lost it bawling his eyes out. I looked at him and my sister and just kinda shrugged my shoulders and left the room to let her deal with it. I’m just done watching this kid be rewarded for his s**tty behavior. AITAH?
See what others had to share with OP:
Slow_Balance270 − NTA. I also think you should start teaching your children that they don’t always have to share. Especially if the person is undeserving of it. It wasn’t until I was middle aged that a friend pointed out that I’m a people pleaser even to my own determent.
Some folks will begin to simply expect you to fall in line with their demands and people who generally don’t mind helping, giving or sharing can easily be taken advantage of.
No_Cockroach4248 − It perhaps is time to have an adult discussion with your sister to establish a timeline for her to move out with your nephew?
GuiltySport1107 − It’s important to teach your children that they don’t always have to share, especially with people who don’t deserve it. Being too accommodating can lead to others taking advantage, so setting boundaries early on is key to protecting their well-being. NTA
HotFox4151 − Why is your sister and her obnoxious b**t still living with you? You have a responsibility to protect you own children especially in their own home. If he’s being that awful then you should be kicking them out for the sake of your own nuclear family.
misstiff1971 − If your sister can afford to continue spoiling him -she should be living on her own. Besides – she already has a boyfriend.
NamingandEatingPets − I’m gonna piggyback on the advice everyone else has given, and add that it’s your home and you can set the rules for any child in it and if your sister doesn’t like it, she can get out. There shouldn’t be one set of rules for b**t child, and another set of rules for your kids under your roof. That’s not fair to your children.
When my kids were little, we used to host this one little girl from up the street all the time at our house. Her mother was pretty checked out after her dad passed away so I didn’t mind having her over and having her eat home-cooked meals instead of the bags of McDonald’s her mother would bring home and things like that.
When she became a regular guest, I explained that we have household rules and as long as she is in my home, she has to obey them. Things like teaching her good manners at the table, asking to be excused, chewing with her mouth closed, bringing her plate and silverware to the sink, asking before grabbing a snack.
She was the kind of kid that would encourage my daughter to do things that were not allowed, and I put the kibosh on that s**t too. This extended to every kid that came in my home.
If they were behaving way that didn’t comply with our polite and civil household rules I would explain to them what the rule was the first time and if they broke it, I would explain to them that they wouldn’t be welcome back.guess who’s house every kid wanted to go to? Mine. Especially the ones that didn’t have any discipline at home.
ShadedBloonm − NTA, setting boundaries is crucial. I’ve been there; it’s tough but necessary for everyone involved.
Cybermagetx − Nta. But its time for them to go. Your daughter safe space is no longer safe. If you don’t yta to your kids.
mmmmpisghetti − My son is 3 years older than his sister. When he was 6 or 7, he tricked her into being in the “sharing club”, where she happily shared whatever she had that he wanted with him. Of course, when she wanted something he had he made up some 6 year old logical loophole of why it wasn’t included in the sharing club.
The second time he pulled that she announced that she wasn’t in his sharing club anymore, and that if he wanted her to share then he had to join HER Sharing Club where he had to share with her.
I would have gotten involved but she solved the problem. Point being, kids shouldn’t be forced to engage in unfair b**lshit like what OPs nephew is pulling with the enabling of his mother
Ok-CANACHK − NTA. when is she leaving?
Was the Redditor’s decision to withhold the treat a justified way to address bad behavior, or should they have handled the situation differently? How would you approach rewarding or disciplining a child in similar circumstances? Share your thoughts below!