Aitah for wanting a divorce because my husband has become the food police and I have had it?
Losing weight is a personal journey—one that should be celebrated when done in a healthy and sustainable way. But what happens when the person who should be your biggest supporter turns into your biggest critic? That’s the dilemma one Reddit user faced after making lifestyle changes to improve her health, only to have her husband undermine her progress at every turn.
OP had been overweight her entire life due to poor eating habits in childhood. She eventually decided to make changes—not through extreme dieting, but by cutting out excess sugar and finding alternatives she enjoyed. The results? Steady weight loss, lower blood pressure, and improved mental health. While her doctor and coworkers were thrilled, her husband was not.
Instead of celebrating her success, he fixated on every piece of fruit she ate, comparing natural sugars to processed candy and insisting she take weight-loss drugs she couldn’t afford. His behavior, fueled by questionable TikTok nutrition advice, became increasingly toxic. Now, OP is questioning whether this marriage is worth saving.
‘Aitah for wanting a divorce because my husband has become the food police and I have had it?’
Expert Analysis:
Context and Conflict
This conflict goes beyond food—it’s about control and respect. OP made an independent decision to improve her health, but her husband is obsessed with micromanaging her choices. His insistence that fruit is “worse than Hershey bars” is not just scientifically inaccurate; it’s a sign of diet misinformation creeping into their relationship.
The Psychological Impact of Food Policing
A study published in the Journal of Eating Disorders found that individuals subjected to food policing from loved ones often experience increased stress and lower self-esteem.
OP’s husband is not only disregarding her success but actively trying to control what she eats, which can lead to emotional distress and unhealthy eating patterns.
Why Extreme Dieting Advice Can Be Dangerous
According to registered dietitian Dr. Abby Langer, restrictive diets that eliminate entire food groups (such as fruits and vegetables) are not only unsustainable but can also lead to nutrient deficiencies and disordered eating patterns.
OP’s husband’s TikTok-based advice is not rooted in science, yet he continues to push it onto her.
Proposed Solutions and Lessons Learned
To navigate this challenging situation, OP may need to consider the following:
- Establish Boundaries – OP has found a method that works for her. She should make it clear that her eating habits are not up for discussion.
- Encourage Education Over Misinformation – If her husband is genuinely concerned, he should consult a registered dietitian rather than relying on TikTok influencers.
- Evaluate the Relationship – OP’s weight loss has made her feel better physically and mentally. If her husband is only bringing negativity, she should consider what value he truly adds to her life.
- Seek Support – Whether through therapy or a support group, OP may benefit from speaking with professionals or individuals who understand the impact of weight-related stigma in relationships.
- Prioritize Personal Well-being – If the relationship is causing more harm than good, OP has every right to consider whether staying is in her best interest.
By implementing these strategies, OP can continue on her health journey without being subjected to unnecessary judgment.
Here’s what Redditors had to say:
The majority of commenters strongly supported OP, pointing out that her husband’s behavior was not just unsupportive but borderline controlling. Many suggested she reevaluate the relationship entirely, questioning why she should stay with someone who refuses to celebrate her progress. Others emphasized that health is about balance, and demonizing fruit is a red flag for disordered eating beliefs.
OP embarked on a personal journey to improve her health, but instead of support, she faced constant criticism from her husband. This situation raises an important question: Is he truly concerned for her well-being, or is he threatened by her progress?
Either way, OP deserves a partner who uplifts her, not one who makes her feel guilty for eating a handful of grapes. What do you think—should OP stay and try to educate her husband, or is it time to move on?