AITAH for walking out of my son’s kindergarten play because my wife wouldn’t shut up?

A Reddit user recounts a difficult situation during his son’s kindergarten play, where his wife’s disruptive behavior made him so uncomfortable that he chose to walk out. Frustrated and embarrassed by her constant loud comments and mocking behavior, he found himself at a loss for how to handle the situation without escalating it further. Read the full story below.

‘ AITAH for walking out of my son’s kindergarten play because my wife wouldn’t shut up?’

Today, my [32m] son’s [5m] kindergarten had a little play. It was a short story involving a bunch of bunnies, giraffes, and sheep. My son, Kevin, was one of the giraffes. I was looking forward to it all week, but I was also anxious because my wife, Claire [31f], tends to get very bad when we’re in front of other people.

She’ll often become aggressive, short-tempered, and will be incredibly rude towards me. I think she does it performatively because she thinks it makes her look cool. Anyway, Claire and I arrived early to get front-row seats in their small auditorium. First, as we waited, Claire began by putting her bag and other belongings on the two seats next to her.

I had to get her to put them under her chair because other people might want to sit there. She accosted me because, “Of course I know that! I was going to move them when it got crowded!” Then she began setting up a camera on a tripod on top of the seat, which would have obstructed the view of anyone else behind us.

Luckily, one of the teachers there asked her nicely to take it down. Unfortunately this put Claire in a foul mood, and I knew she would be taking it out on me eventually. The performance started, and our son did a great job. But he had a little giraffe hat on with a cord to go under his chin, and he put the cord in his mouth during the play.

Claire would simply not shut up about this. As all the parents took videos, she was constantly saying things like “I TOLD him not to chew on it” and “Kevin! Take the cord out of your mouth!” I could tell other parents were getting irritated with her because her voice was getting on their video of their children. I lightly suggested in a whisper, “Hey, other people are taking videos… I don’t think Kevin can hear you anyway.”

Claire did not take this well. She began loudly ranting to herself. She would repeat things like “God I want him to shut the f**k up” and mock my voice with “kEvIn CaN’T hEaR YoU.” Over time she gradually got louder and louder. Finally, when I was pretty sure Kevin’s part in the play was done, I stood up and walked out. I waited in the car. Claire and Kevin came out about 20 minutes later.

She opened the door and immediately began tearing into her about “abandoning” her and Kevin. When I responded that she was embarrassing me, she began sulking and ranting about how she’s “such an embarrassment” to her family. I don’t know what I could have done better. Should I have handled this differently?

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Fresh_Mistake8678 −  Wife is gonna ruin every moment of the kids life and take OP down with her. His wife likes attention on her, and imagine graduation and wedding ouff

Wise_Date_5357 −  Kevin is 5. He understands words. On the day he got up to act in public, a huge achievement for a 5 year old, he spent a car ride back with his parents. You know what he should have been expecting to hear, ALL the way back home? You make a great giraffe Kevin.

You were so brave and you got all your lines right, we are so proud of you! You know what he heard instead, all the way back? Your father thinks I’m an embarrassment. You were chewing your hat.

That is unacceptable and the fact you’re staying with this woman who would not only treat you this way (clearly at the very least verbally a**sive) when you’d been looking forward to this all week but that would ruin something so big for your son, that is deeply wrong. I would never call someone in an a**sive relationship an A H but please get out of there. NTA for walking out.

RonRon8888 −  I think she craves for attention. Any kind will do.

Emotional_Builder_24 −  NTA. Why are you married to such a foul human being? She sounds like such a miserable person to be around.

PinkChickenLegs −  Why are you remaining married to this absolute NIGHTMARE of a wife??? The entitlement is only overshadowed by her A**SIVE behavior. Don’t stay for your kid- that jacks kids up because they’re more intuitive than we give them credit for. NTA but your wife is something else.

xxxdggxxx −  Your wife comes across as a**sive. Does she turn this behaviour on your kid too? If so, you need to protect him and yourself.

Square-Minimum-6042 −  Why did you marry this horrible woman? Is she like this with your son?

wwydinthismess −  You’re being domestically abused. I know it can be hard to accept, but you need your son is growing up in a home where at best he’s witnessing domestic abuse, but will most likely be a victim of it too. Gather evidence, then go see a family lawyer about how you can divorce and get custody so you can keep your son safe

Quarkiness −  I am surprised the principal didn’t ask your wife to be quiet.  Or other parents. NTA , even if you hadn’t mentioned about the bag she probably would have complained right?  This does look like the abuse cycle,  if things don’t go her way,  you get abused.

Maybe you could have said,  it seemed like you were irritated at me so you kept making comments such were disturbing other people so I removed myself so that the other parents would not be annoyed. She is such an embarrassment to herself. 

Eliza10-2020 −  Do differently? Leave her.

Was walking out the best way for him to handle his wife’s behavior, or should he have stayed to avoid upsetting his son? How would you manage a disruptive partner in a similar situation? Share your thoughts below!