AITAH for Telling My Wife I’m Done with Her “Emergency Calls” and Leaving Her Stranded?
A husband feels exhausted by his wife’s frequent “emergency” calls for non-critical issues while he manages work and family responsibilities. Recently, while at the doctor’s with their son, he refused her panicked call for help after she locked herself out of her car.
When she later incurred a high fee to fix it, she was furious. He told her he’s “done rescuing” her for avoidable problems, leading to a standoff. read the original story below…
‘ AITAH for Telling My Wife I’m Done with Her “Emergency Calls” and Leaving Her Stranded?’
I (32M) have been married to my wife (29F) for four years, and we have a 3-year-old son. She’s not a bad person, but she’s constantly in a state of chaos, and every little thing becomes my problem. No exaggeration, I get these “emergency” calls multiple times a week. Flat tire? Call me at work. Forgot her wallet?
Call me. Grocery store out of her favorite oat milk? Blow up my phone like the world’s ending. It’s relentless. I work full-time and do my fair share at home with our son: diaper duty, bedtime stories, cooking, cleaning, you name it. But these “crises” are killing me.
I’ve told her before that unless it’s a real emergency, like someone bleeding or stuck on a highway at night, she needs to figure it out. I don’t have the bandwidth to drop everything constantly. The last straw came two days ago.
I had to take my son to the doctor because he had an ear infection, and I was already running on fumes. While I’m in the waiting room with a fussy toddler, she calls me in a panic because she locked herself out of her car in front of a Target five minutes from home.
I told her, “I can’t leave. You’ll have to call someone to pop the window.” She freaked out, saying that would cost too much, she didn’t bring enough cash, and I was being unreasonable. I stayed firm, said she needed to figure it out, and hung up. When I got home later, she was furious.
She said the guy charged her $150, and I should’ve come to help because she “didn’t think to grab her wallet.” I told her, point blank, “I’m done rescuing you from things you can easily handle. You need to stop acting like everything is a disaster.”
Now she’s barely speaking to me, acting like I’m the villain for not dropping everything for her again. My brother thinks I was harsh, but my mom said I was right to set boundaries. AITAH for leaving her stranded this time?
These are the responses from Reddit users:
SockMaster9273 − NTA. “My car wont open” “I’m at the doctor with our son. You are not the priority”.
TopAd7154 − NTA she sounds exhausting.
Rat_Master999 − NTA Sounds like you’ve got two toddlers.
Ancient_Bicycles − NTA. Your wife needs to be evaluated for executive dysfunction. This level of disorganization is not normal. Something is wrong.
Talentless67 − NTA, I think your sons health is more important than a car window, maybe remind her of this fact.
rottywell − To everyone saying she needs to get tested for executive dysfunction. While that maybe right, the problem is also her turning everything into a crisis.. Which is something else entirely. You’re right to be annoyed with that OP. You’re right to START SETTING BOUNDARIES.
She can continue throwing her fit. As long as it is clear, “I won’t be rescuing you, you need to figure things out on your own. Setup the properly catches to prevent you doing things like leaving your wallet all the time.”
Nearly everyone with ADHD builds up some mechanism to catch basic things so you do not hassle people around you. She is crying wolf every single time and that’s a problem.
DragonFlower1723 − NTA She freaked out, saying that would cost too much, she didn’t bring enough cash, and I was being unreasonable. I stayed firm, said she needed to figure it out, and hung up. Where I’m from, if you call the non-emergency line for your local police department, they can help for free.
I’ve done this in the winter when I accidentally locked my keys in the car before work. She said the guy charged her $150, and I should’ve come to help because she “didn’t think to grab her wallet.” She went to Target without her wallet and brought only enough cash to pay for her items?
What would have happened if she remembered she needed to pick an extra item up? I find it very hard to believe that she did that. And how did she pay the guy who opened her car then? Does she do this with anyone else or is it just you?
No_Noise_5733 − Your wife sounds more work than your toddler.
N0ra_R0ra − Kinda concerned what she would have done if she’d been the one dealing with your son being at the doctor…? NTA she needs to figure out organisation but also personal responsibility
xubax − If you’re in the US, you should get AAA. Gives you one number to call to help with a flat, a dead battery, keys locked in the car, whatever. My parents had it, they got it for me when I started driving 42 years ago, and now my kids have it.
I don’t use it often, but the peace of mind for not having to track down a reputable tow service, or locksmith, or whatever is worth it. Not to mention if you have a flat on a highway, it’s a lot safer to get away from your vehicle and let a truck with flashing lights show up with the right tools to change your tire.
Should he set firmer boundaries, or did he overreact? Share your thoughts below!