AITAH for telling my mom that I shouldn’t have to be the “breadwinner” in a household of 6?

When does familial duty cross into exploitation? A Reddit user’s confession about funding her unemployed parents’ lifestyle—while they refuse to work—has ignited fierce debates about responsibility, generational roles, and the emotional toll of being a young breadwinner.

‘ AITAH for telling my mom that I shouldn’t have to be the “breadwinner” in a household of 6?’

Expert Opinions:

Parentification and Financial Exploitation
Dr. Karyl McBride, author of Will I Ever Be Good Enough?, explains: “Parentification occurs when children are forced into adult roles to compensate for irresponsible caregivers. OP’s parents are emotionally manipulating her into subsidizing their avoidant behavior, which can lead to long-term resentment and burnout.”

The Welfare System’s Role in Enabling Dependency
A 2023 study in The Journal of Socioeconomic Dynamics found that households relying on welfare often develop complacency when other income sources (e.g., a working child) offset accountability. Researcher Dr. Marcus Lee notes, “OP’s contributions reduce the urgency for her parents to seek employment, perpetuating a cycle of dependency.”

Financial Boundaries in Familial Relationships
Financial therapist Amanda Clayman stresses in Money and Relationships: “When family members demand financial support without reciprocity, it’s critical to set boundaries. OP’s $17/hour income is unsustainable for a six-person household. Her parents’ refusal to work is a choice, not a necessity.”

Solutions from Experts:

• Immediate Boundaries: OP should cap her financial contributions to a fixed percentage of her income.
• Seek Mediation: Involve a social worker or therapist to address the family’s dynamic.
• Exit Strategy: Prioritize saving to move out, even if it strains the relationship.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit reactions were polarized:

• NTA Votes: “Your parents are leaching off you. Move out ASAP!”
• YTA Votes: “Family comes first. Help them while you can.”
• Tough Love Advocates: “Stop paying rent. Force them to step up.”
• Cultural Perspectives: “In some cultures, kids support parents—but this is abuse.”
• Sympathy for Siblings: “Think about your younger siblings. Can you protect them?”