AITAH for telling my mom that I shouldn’t have to be the “breadwinner” in a household of 6?

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When does familial duty cross into exploitation? A Reddit user’s confession about funding her unemployed parents’ lifestyle—while they refuse to work—has ignited fierce debates about responsibility, generational roles, and the emotional toll of being a young breadwinner.

‘ AITAH for telling my mom that I shouldn’t have to be the “breadwinner” in a household of 6?’

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Expert Opinions:

Parentification and Financial Exploitation
Dr. Karyl McBride, author of Will I Ever Be Good Enough?, explains: “Parentification occurs when children are forced into adult roles to compensate for irresponsible caregivers. OP’s parents are emotionally manipulating her into subsidizing their avoidant behavior, which can lead to long-term resentment and burnout.”

The Welfare System’s Role in Enabling Dependency
A 2023 study in The Journal of Socioeconomic Dynamics found that households relying on welfare often develop complacency when other income sources (e.g., a working child) offset accountability. Researcher Dr. Marcus Lee notes, “OP’s contributions reduce the urgency for her parents to seek employment, perpetuating a cycle of dependency.”

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Financial Boundaries in Familial Relationships
Financial therapist Amanda Clayman stresses in Money and Relationships: “When family members demand financial support without reciprocity, it’s critical to set boundaries. OP’s $17/hour income is unsustainable for a six-person household. Her parents’ refusal to work is a choice, not a necessity.”

Solutions from Experts:

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  • Immediate Boundaries: OP should cap her financial contributions to a fixed percentage of her income.
  • Seek Mediation: Involve a social worker or therapist to address the family’s dynamic.
  • Exit Strategy: Prioritize saving to move out, even if it strains the relationship.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit reactions were polarized:

  • NTA Votes: “Your parents are leaching off you. Move out ASAP!”
  • YTA Votes: “Family comes first. Help them while you can.”
  • Tough Love Advocates: “Stop paying rent. Force them to step up.”
  • Cultural Perspectives: “In some cultures, kids support parents—but this is abuse.”
  • Sympathy for Siblings: “Think about your younger siblings. Can you protect them?”

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This heart-wrenching story exposes the dark side of familial obligation. While OP’s parents weaponize guilt to justify their inertia, her sacrifices highlight the unsustainable pressure placed on young adults in broken systems.

Final Take: No child should be forced into parenthood for their own parents. Financial support should never come at the cost of one’s future or self-worth.

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Join the Discussion:
Is OP obligated to support her able-bodied parents? Should she stay for her siblings or prioritize her own freedom? Share your advice below!

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