AITAH for telling my husband that my doctor knows more than him and refusing to forgive him?

A pregnant woman shares her story about a serious argument with her husband after he pressured her into violating strict medical restrictions set by her doctor. Following a health scare, she confronted him and demanded accountability, but now he wonders if she’s being too unforgiving. Is she justified in her reaction, or is she overreacting?

‘ AITAH for telling my husband that my doctor knows more than him and refusing to forgive him?’

Hello everyone. My husband and I have been married for four years and together for six, and this is the very first huge argument we’ve ever had. I (f24) am currently 33 weeks pregnant with his (m31) baby. When I was 20 weeks pregnant my doctor diagnosed me with placenta previa which if you don’t know is basically when the placenta for my baby is covering the opening in my cervix. They told me it would likely move as my baby grew but it never did.

So I am scheduled for a c section in just three weeks. At 20 weeks I was put on very light restrictions but at 30 I got put on heavier restrictions, like no running, no lifting or climbing, no standing for longer than 3 hours at a time, and most importantly no s** and no vaginal exams. Because my doctor told me that we want absolutely nothing to potentially make me bleed which could lead to preterm birth.

So I have been doing this all for three weeks but it has been driving my husband f**king insane. Every single day he bothers me for s**. Every. Single. Day. Every single day I tell him I can’t, and remind him of the restrictions. I don’t even want to have s** anyway- my tummy is so big and I am always exhausted. He doesn’t really like those answers.

Finally he came to me and started going on about how doctors sometimes “dramatize” things for the sake of “their careers and more money”. He said they push for c sections. I was like okay whatever but I know that I have this condition, obviously I am going to follow the rules. He didn’t take the answer and we ended up having s**.

For a few hours after I was having really heavy bleeding and I got so scared. I was crying in the bathroom, trying to figure out what to do. I ended up calling my doctor and she told me to come in right away. The whole car ride there I was just sobbing, imagining that in a hour I would be having a c section for an only 33 week old baby.

We quickly figured out that I am not in preterm labor, I was just bleeding and as long as it stops it will be okay. It did and I am fine. But while I was there my dr asked my husband to leave and started asking me questions. She asked me if I did anything I wasn’t supposed to do. She was like “this isn’t accusatory, it’s okay, it’s just better to know if it was caused by something or random”. I told her that I had s**. She just went over all the things again and then gave me a bunch of information on domestic violence.

She put them in my purse for me, literally. I was so embarrassed. When we got into the car I broke down and yelled at my husband, telling him to never do that to me again and telling him that my doctor knows more than him and knows what is best for me and the baby. He apologized and I could tell he really meant it. I have still been holding a grudge for days and he’s been groveling for days. He asked me how long I was gonna make him apologize. I told him at least until the baby is born. AITAH for that?

Check out how the community responded:

A-typ-self −  He didn’t take the answer and we ended up having s**.. Please re-read what you wrote. Now imagine your daughter/sister/best friend said that to you about their relationship. What would you say happened?. It sounds bad because it is.

NervousAd7170 −  NTA although I think you should go ahead and read those pamphlets that your Dr gave you.

CrabbiestAsp −  NTA. But your husband is a huge a**hole. He was too concerned about getting off that he put your health at risk and your babies life at risk. He really needs to grow up and learn how to be a decent human to you and your baby.
I had a high-risk pregnancy, too. Luckily, it was not as severe as yours, but my Drs told me to be careful for pre-term labour.

So when I started having really bad braxton hicks around 30w pregnant after s** I told my husband I didn’t want to have s** anymore just incase. He completely supported me. Not once did he bother me for any s**ual, just supported me and my pregnancy so me and baby were safe and sound. This is how your husband needs to be taking care of you.

Beautiful-Report58 −  “my doctor knows more than him and knows what is best for me and the baby”. That is why she put those pamphlets in your purse. She knows what is best for you. She’s seen this before and she is concerned for you. If he can’t handle a few weeks without s**, what is he going to do post op? You won’t be able to have s** for a couple months.

livesina-dream −  There’s a very good reason she gave you those DV pamphlets. Please, I encourage you to read through them thoughtfully and think about if this is the environment you want your child in.

Busy-Speaker9396 −  OBGYN here. What a f**king i**ot your husband is. C-Section for placenta previa is an absolute necessity. 750mL of blood per minute goes to the uterus at term, 90% of that to the placenta. Literally all of your blood can be outside of your body in a matter of minutes if you don’t deliver surgically.

The “we all want to do csections all the time for no reason” b**lshit has got to go because it gives lay people the impression that they should disagree using their 0 hours of scientific training with absolute medical necessity. All of this is awful and I’m sorry you’re going through this.

metalmorian −  Finally he came to me and started going on about how doctors sometimes “dramatize”. Things for the sake of “their careers and more money”. He said they push for c sections. I was like okay whatever but I know that I have this condition, obviously I am going to follow the rules. He didn’t take the answer and we ended up having s**.

This does not in any way sound like consent to me. Badgering someone for s** until they give in is rape. And it sounds like that’s what he’s been doing. No wonder you feel like you can’t forgive him! And honestly, you probably shouldn’t, but then I’m not the one in your shoes. NTA, but your marriage has huge problems.

jigglypufff17 −  Another day, another problematic age gap where a 25 year old man started dating a teenager, and is now using his position of power. NTA. This guy put you and your baby in jeopardy to satisfy his own needs. Reddit jumps to “leave/divorce” a lot but if it were me, I would for this.

GrouchyEquivalent693 −  He is one huge AH. Obstetricians give you orders for a very important reason – the health, wellbeing and safety of mother and baby. They aren’t given lightly, or just for the hell of it. Oh and by the way, after giving birth there’s no intimacy for around 6 WEEKS FOR A DAMN GOOD REASON, and you can get pregnant if breastfeeding and not using birth control.

Your husband badgered you until you relented, not giving a damn about it. He’s abusive and he does not give a rats arse about you. He has just demonstrated just you how irrelevant you and your babies safety is to him. He showed you your future. He doesn’t respect you or value you.