AITAH for telling my girlfriend that if all she brings to the table is s** then she shouldn’t be surprised that’s what I want.?

A Reddit user shared a conversation with his girlfriend about their future, where tensions flared after she suggested wanting to be a stay-at-home partner for their dogs rather than working post-graduation. He responded with a joke that didn’t land well, sparking a debate about their contributions to the relationship. Read on to decide if his reaction was too harsh or if he was right to push back on the idea of an imbalanced arrangement.

‘ AITAH for telling my girlfriend that if all she brings to the table is s** then she shouldn’t be surprised that’s what I want.?’

Sorry this isn’t incel rage bait. I am not trying to get her to agree to free use or a bang maid or anything like that. My girlfriend and I were having a discussion about our future. She used the phrase “what do you bring to the table”. I said that my job made our lifestyle possible. That I did my share of the household chores and that I always treated her with respect.

She said that was the bare minimum. She said that she also contributes to our budget. She does. About 10% of our budget is from her. She is in school so she doesn’t work much. I didn’t care I thought the plan was for her to contribute more once she got a job after she graduated. Apparently that is not the plan. She wants to be a stay at home mom. To our dogs because we are child free.

So I said that if all she brings to the table is s** then I would expect it all the time. AS A JOKE. She didn’t take it that way. She said that I earn enough for both of us and that she would be doing lots of other stuff for us. That thinking of her as just for s** was demeaning. I asked for examples but she couldn’t give any except her half of the chores.

So she would want me to work, support her, and do half the housework in return for what exactly? Watching my dogs? I said that wasn’t going to happen. She could either contribute fairly or we were not going to work because I do not want a bang maid.

I also want to save money. Right now I’m subsidizing her life. So I’m not putting as much into my retirement as I would like. She said she wasn’t serious about staying home but she is angry with me for what I said. I was just trying to make light of what I thought was a ridiculous idea.

See what others had to share with OP:

LongjumpingSource735 −  Believe me dude she was serious.

WyomingVet −  NTA RUN FOREST RUN!!!!! Why is she even going to college if that’s her plan?

savinathewhite −  You are NTA, but you are going to have to choose whether you want to be this woman’s meal ticket when she just stops putting effort into your lives. Anyone who is asking you to subsidize her existence (whether she’s going to school or not) and then has the absolute *balls* to ask you what you bring to the table, is seriously entitled.

Why is she even going to school if she wants to stop working and be a dog-mom on your dime? This is not healthy or sustainable and you need to have a serious conversation.

SewRuby −  Wait. She’s telling you she wants a future with you, but is asking what you bring to the table like she’s interviewing you for a job? Also, who asks their partner “what do you bring to the table?”. If you’re not sure why you’re dating me, then why the f**k are you dating me?

I’m hella confused about what she was hoping would come out of this conversation. “you don’t bring anything to the table, but should definitely fully support me even though I’m of able mind and body”. Fuckin what, man?. Edit: NTA

No-Table2410 −  NTA. Her getting angry is a nice distraction from acknowledging the unfairness of you working full time, and doing half of everything else, whilst she has an easy life.

Disossabovii −  Wait, she want to be at sahm, with no child and do….. half of the chores?! HALF????

MissThingToday −  NTA. If she can’t actually articulate what she will bring to the table in the future, then that’s the actual issue. If neither of you meant what you said, then taking offence is just a deflection away from the root problem.

CreativeMadness99 −  NTA. She was definitely serious about being a stay at home dog mom lol She was testing the waters to see if you’d agree. She’s also minimizing your contribution which is incredibly disrespectful since you’re literally paying for her lifestyle. To even things out, she should be doing majority of the household duties.

Open-Incident-3601 −  She’s been watching too many stay at home girlfriend TikToks.

OctoWings13 −  NTA. If one partner works full time and pays for everything, and the other is at home, that one should be putting in the same amount of hours around the house etc. In this particular case, because there’s no kids etc, literally everything should be done at the house to make the relationship equal with BOTH partners contributing.

She literally just brings s**. If she’s triggered by that reality, she needs to step up and act like a partner and put in some effort She wins extra “m**on points” for actually trying to pull the “what do you bring to the table” argument while bringing nothing but s** lmao

Do you think his response was inappropriate or justified given the context? How would you handle a situation where relationship contributions seemed unbalanced? Share your thoughts below!