AITAH for telling my daughter to keep her Father’s Day gift to herself because she hid her mother’s affair from me for months?

A Redditor (41M) shares how his daughter (17F) gave him a Father’s Day gift, but he refused to accept it after learning that she hid her mother’s affair from him for months. Despite his daughter apologizing multiple times, he couldn’t bring himself to accept her gesture. Read the original story below…

‘ AITAH for telling my daughter to keep her Father’s Day gift to herself because she hid her mother’s affair from me for months?’

My ex wife (40F) and I (41M) have been divorced for a year now because she had an affair. She herself confessed to her affair a year later and moved in with her affair partner, who she’s also now married to. I was pretty distraught with the whole thing.

We also have a daughter (17F). My daughter knew about the affair but she told me she hid it from me because she didn’t want to breakup the family. It really hurt me that she hid it from me for so long but I moved on.

My daughter still apologies for it but I’ve told her it’s alright. My daughter today gave me a Father’s Day gift which was a handwritten letter and a gift. However, I was in no mood for gifts so I told her to keep it to herself. My daughter seemed a bit shocked and she went to her room, and I think she was crying as she went to her room.. Was I the AH?

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

mlk154 −  Yes imo. You say you told her it’s alright. You say you moved on. How do your actions live up to those words. At least be honest with yourself (and then her). Either move on or don’t, but don’t say everything’s alright and then not accept a gift from your daughter. Plus maybe factor in she’s a kid and in a tough spot between her parents when you make some of these evaluations.

cheetahlakes −  I mean from the limited info you give here in your post, you sound like the AH. You told her “it’s alright.” If it’s not alright then why tf are you telling her it is? Also, is it your daughter’s job to save your marriage? That’s a lot of pressure to put on your daughter. I’m not sure you’re fully aware of everything she may have had on the line and you’re still holding it against her? But yeah, don’t say it’s okay if it’s not okay.

[Reddit User] −  Yes. Sorry for what happened to you but YTA. Can you imagine the position she was in? A child? YOUR child? She was afraid her home would break. Her nightmare came true. And you did this???? You told her it’s ok and then crapped on her as if this was her fault. Shame on you. I get this is still raw for you but what about her?

Travelcat67 −  This is fake, similar post recently about cutting daughter out bc she hid the affair.

informativebitching −  She’s a kid dude. YTA big time.

[Reddit User] −  My gut tells me this is bait, but I’m going to respond as if it were real. Yes, OP, YTA for being such a petty a**hole that you’re mad at your *daughter* for your *ex-wife’s* affair. She was (and still is) a literal child and was in a no-win situation (and still is).

Tigress92 −  Dount this is real, but just in case; Yes, YTA. You say you moved on, but you haven’t, because you’re still punishing your daughter. She is a child, you are punishing her for her mother’s actions, do better.

Careless-Banana-3868 −  YTA. It’s your job as a parents to facilitate and keep the relationship safe. She was a child who was put in a horrible situation and was in anguish for a year. Hey buddy, newsflash. You just proved her biggest fear right.

angel9_writes −  YTA. Your wife cheated and your CHILD didn’t know how to handle knowledge a PARENT never should have saddled her with. Why are you blaming your child for someone else’s mistake. Also what is it? Is it alright did you accept her apologies are do you resent your child for you’re ex’s mistake? That is if this real, it reads fake, but people are this awful so who knows.

Leading_Employee_433 −  YTA. If she’s 17 now she must have been a complete child when y’all were going through it. Continuing to hold that over her head is unfair and cruel. If you don’t stop treating her this way, eventually she will stop trying and go NC with you. No more father’s day presents forever.

Do you think the Redditor was justified in refusing the gift, or should he have accepted his daughter’s gesture despite her past actions? Let us know your thoughts in the comments!