AITAH For telling my childs teacher I may charge back/cancel orders?
Imagine your child working tirelessly for months to sell school fundraiser items, only to be denied the promised reward for their efforts. That’s the frustrating situation facing OP, whose son was promised an Oculus VR headset for selling over 210 items but was instead given a $15 Dairy Queen gift card.
OP feels that his son’s hard work and dedication have been disregarded, and he’s considering canceling the entire order or demanding compensation for his son’s time and effort. Join us as we unpack this story of a school fundraiser gone wrong, a disappointed child, and a parent who’s ready to take a stand against what he perceives as unfair treatment.
‘ AITAH For telling my childs teacher I may charge back/cancel orders?’
Expert Opinion:
This situation highlights the importance of recognizing and rewarding children’s efforts, particularly when it comes to instilling a sense of accomplishment and motivation.
Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg, a pediatrician specializing in adolescent medicine and author of Building Resilience in Children and Teens, emphasizes the importance of fostering a “growth mindset” in children, where they believe that their abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication and hard work. (Source: Building Resilience in Children and Teens: Giving Kids Roots and Wings)
In this case, the school’s failure to deliver on the promised reward for the son’s fundraising efforts sends a discouraging message, potentially undermining his motivation and belief in the value of hard work.
Dr. Ginsburg notes that “When children experience a disconnect between their efforts and the rewards they receive, it can create a sense of injustice and disillusionment, hindering their motivation and future engagement in similar activities.” (Source: Building Resilience in Children and Teens: Giving Kids Roots and Wings)
Furthermore, the school’s lack of communication and transparency regarding the prize situation raises concerns about their commitment to fostering a positive learning environment. Dr. Michele Borba, an educational psychologist and author specializing in character development, emphasizes the importance of open communication and clear expectations in educational settings.
She states, “Schools have a responsibility to create a culture of trust and transparency, where students feel valued and respected. When promises are broken or expectations are unclear, it can erode trust and create a sense of unfairness.” (Source: UnSelfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World)
Finally, addressing these discrepancies through proper channels can help refine future programs. Contacting the fundraising company or the school board might be necessary to review and improve the incentive structure. By doing so, administrators can ensure that children’s hard work is honored and that reward systems remain a positive, encouraging force. This approach benefits not only the child in question but also the broader school community, reinforcing lessons of fairness and the true value of effort.
See what others had to share with OP:
Here are some hot takes from the Reddit community—candid and direct:
The community is divided, with some suggesting that the parent should contact the fundraising organization or school board to address systemic issues, while others fully back the decision to hold the teacher accountable. Many commenters express empathy for the child’s commitment and applaud the parent’s determination to ensure that hard work is rewarded as promised.
At its core, this story is about more than a disappointing prize—it’s about teaching our children that their efforts deserve fair recognition. How should schools and fundraisers ensure that incentive programs remain transparent and accountable? Have you ever witnessed or experienced a similar mismatch between effort and reward? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below!