AITAH for telling my bf that I don’t want his daughters in my apartment?

When it comes to relationship boundaries and lifestyle choices, few decisions are as personal—and as painful—as when your values simply don’t align. In this post, a 38‑year‑old woman shares her internal struggle over a major relationship issue: she firmly stated that she doesn’t want her boyfriend’s daughters in her apartment. Despite having been together for four years and even getting engaged,

she felt increasingly uncomfortable with the idea of a shared living space where her home becomes a part‑time setting for his children. Although she loved her boyfriend deeply, she eventually decided that she could no longer compromise on a principle that she’s held since before their relationship began.

In her own words, she’s child‑free by choice and never intended to play a parental role. Over time, the arrangement—the boyfriend’s daughters staying with them during his custody weeks—became too much to bear. In the end, she chose to end the relationship rather than live with a reality she didn’t sign up for. But was she truly in the wrong?

‘AITAH for telling my bf that I don’t want his daughters in my apartment?’

Dr. Elena Martinez, a family therapist, explains, “Boundaries in relationships are crucial. When one partner has a firm preference about their lifestyle—such as being child‑free—it is essential that both parties respect that. The OP made it clear from the beginning that she did not want to take on parental responsibilities.

Over time, when her boyfriend’s actions contradicted that boundary, her feelings of discomfort and violation were understandable. It is important in any relationship to have honest, open discussions about expectations. If those expectations are continually ignored, it may be healthier to part ways.”(kidshealth.org)

Dr. Martinez adds, “Sometimes, a breakup is a necessary step to protect one’s mental well‑being, even when love is involved.”

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

One redditor commented, “If you’ve been clear from the start that you’re not interested in having kids in your space, then you’re within your rights to set that boundary. It’s not about being unloving; it’s about living your life on your own terms. I’d say you have every right to choose what works for you, even if it means ending the relationship.”

In summary, the OP is left heartbroken after ending her relationship with her fiancé over a deal-breaker: she simply did not want his children in her home. Although she loved him deeply, her desire for a child‑free life and clear boundaries about her living space ultimately led her to call it quits. The community seems divided—some believe she was justified in sticking to her principles, while others argue that relationships require compromise.

What do you think? Is it justified to end a relationship when your core lifestyle values are ignored, or should couples work harder to negotiate such differences? How would you handle a situation where your partner’s life doesn’t align with your personal boundaries? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below—what would you do if you were in her shoes?