AITAH for telling a family member to go to hell, after they reached out years later after my grandfather died?

A Reddit user shared a heart-wrenching story of stepping up as their grandfather’s caretaker during his final years, only to face betrayal and mistreatment by their family after his passing.

Years later, when an estranged aunt reached out to reconnect, their anger resurfaced, prompting a fiery response. Read the full story below to decide if they were justified or not.

‘ AITAH for telling a family member to go to hell, after they reached out years later after my grandfather died?’

The year was 2017, my son and I were living in a 2 bedroom condo. I got a call that grandpa had fallen again and there was a family meeting to be had. This is my mom’s side of the family and they’re… Not my favorite people. At the meeting, it was discussed on what our options were but had basically only considered one option.

They were putting to a vote on whether or not to put him in a home or not. I was against it, I felt they were taking away his freedom without even consulting him. It was then revealed that he had the early stages of dementia and no one really wanted to put any effort in dealing with it.

With that knowledge, I told them that option was off the table. This man has raised me for a quarter of my life, it was time to give back. I volunteered to be his caretaker. I asked for $300 a month, to pay the utilities and whatever groceries I wanted. My family accepted.

I moved my son and I out of our condo, put everything I owned into storage and moved into an old folks gated senior community, stuck us right in the two guest rooms of his double wide trailer. I took care of this man for 2 years and it was the most taxing time of my life.

I watched the man who helped raise me, shrivel into a husk of his former self. It… Tarnished my memory of him truth be told. One morning, it was quiet… As the saying goes, TOO quiet. I went to check on him and sure as s**t, there he was, tripped over his walker, dead on the floor.

He still had old people furniture and you could see he had struck his head on the corner of it on the way down. I picked up him and placed him on his bed. I checked for a pulse and once I confirmed that was gone, unplugged the family webcams and proceeded to call an ambulance and my mom.

While waiting, my grandpa’s last moments were burned on his face. He was clearly in pain and I didn’t hear him fall. His room was clear on the other side of the house. I sorta… Puttied his face neutral, crossed his hands together and combed his hair and made him presentable.

My mother is the only one who knows this. She’s made me swear never to tell the family how I found him cuz “it would break their hearts.” The story is he “died in his sleep.” Upon his d**th, they descended on the house like vultures. I had made it know that all I wanted was his book collection.

They ignored me and donated everything to Goodwill. During this time frame, I had discovered $200k in cash, hidden away and brought it to their attention. I was told “good catch,” followed by also being told I had 30 days notice to get out, they were putting it on the market… In November of 2019.

No one offered to help me move, pay for any expenses, no one offered me anything to help find a place to live, I tried negotiating for more time because there wasn’t anything for rent around Christmas time. Luckily, I found a small 609sqft apartment, on the wrong side of the tracks and moved in Dec 30th.

I refused to go to the funeral service, I was called an a**hole then. I’ve cut myself off from all of them, except my mother who did try and 1 cousin. It’s obviously years later and one of the aunts was trying to check up on me.

I told her she could go to hell and to f**k off. Being the Christian woman she was, she told on me to my mother and she’s asking me to apologize and to let it go. AITAH for holding onto this grudge on my family members or is 5 years not enough time?

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

tonyrains80 −  NTA. Stand up for yourself and keep away from the vultures who only care about themselves.

No_Cockroach4248 −  NTA, your aunt does not get to be one of those who decided you have served your purpose as your grandfather’s carer and throw you out without a care in the world and later turn around and expect everything is forgiven. I think your aunt needs something from you, like perhaps she needs a carer now.

ADrPepperGuy −  NTA. D**th usually brings out the greed in people. Growing up, I remember when a family member died, the spouse refused to host a wake at their house. I remember one did and the house was picked over. Those same family members showed their true colors. Normally, family helps family. You did, they didn’t.

Dana07620 −  NTA. Should send her this… “Wherever the corpse is, there the vultures will gather” Matthew 24:28. As a Christian, she should appreciate that.

shep2105 −  Your grandpa lived in a “gated community”. Doublewide? In a gated community? The trailer had 2 “guest rooms” You only needed 300 bucks a month, so someone was paying all your other expenses and maintaining the “doublewides” taxes, repairs, etc.
He dies in a room “clear across the house” Is a doublewide that big?

He dies, I guess, from a blow to the head, that you say was from hitting a corner of, an old person’s furniture, and he died with “pain” on his face, which you then “rearranged” his dead flesh so no one would know? You found 200k in cash that you told others about, he had a book collection…again…doublewide?

This story is either complete b**lshit, or you’re a l**r, and there is no freaking way that an ambulance would pick up a dead person and not take them to the hospital to be pronounced dead, and when ANYONE dies at home, if not on hospice, the police have to be notified.

You know, to check to see if said dead person ended up that way via someone else. I’d say a lot of red flags would’ve gone off that it was a non-witnessed “head injury”…blow to the head that killed him.. You’re super shady girl

lapsteelguitar −  There’s an old saying: No good deed goes unpunished. Sorry for the s**t they put you thru.

thefullnine4rain −  NTA. S**ew the vultures…they owe you – but you owe them nothing. I just wish you hadn’t told them about the money you found…they didn’t deserve a penny of it for wanting to just stick him in a home and forget about him.

Official-Madiison −  NTA. They treated you horribly when you needed support, and now they want to act like nothing happened. You’re allowed to feel angry and not ready to forgive, especially after all you’ve been through.

andhakaran −  F**k the holidays. Aunt ain’t santa is she. NTA.

New-Number-7810 −  NTA. This woman treated your grandfather like trash in his last years, then helped herself to his stuff after he passed away.

Do you think the Redditor’s reaction to their aunt was justified given the family’s past actions, or should they consider forgiving and moving forward for their own peace? How would you handle such family conflicts? Share your thoughts below!