AITAH for sunbathing t*pless when I said I was going to sunbathe t*pless?

A Reddit user (36F) recounts her annual topless sunbathing tradition at her family’s villa during a group vacation with her husband (42M) and his friends. This year, a friend’s girlfriend, Rose, joined the trip and initially seemed fine with the arrangement but later grew distant, accusing the user of flaunting herself. Tensions arose, leading to a post-vacation confrontation and debates over future accommodations. Read the full story below to see how it unfolded!

‘ AITAH for sunbathing t*pless when I said I was going to sunbathe t*pless? ‘

Me (36f) and my husband (42m) go away for two weeks every November to my parents villa in Tenerife. We normally go with four of his friends. This has been happening every year for the past 5 years with my husband and his friends but I’ve gone there every year since I was 18 in November as a last bit of heat and top up my tan before winter hits.

Whenever I go on holiday I always sunbathe t*pless and this is no different. Anytime we are outside I’m t*pless, sunbathing, swimming in the pool, eating outside. It just feels natural as this place feels like home to me. My husband and his friends don’t care as they’ve known from the start how it is.

This year one of his friends couldn’t make it so one of his other friends asked if he could bring his girlfriend Rose. They’ve been together about six months and I’ve met her a few times she seems nice so I said yes. I messaged Rose privately and said I’m glad she’s coming along and it’ll be nice to have another woman there and I told her that unless we leave the villa I tend to spend the whole time t*pless as I love the warmth and the seclusion. She said that’s fine and she sunbathes t*pless too. Great!

First couple of days she was t*pless when sunbathing or swimming too but would get dressed for food or playing board games or sitting around the outside fire. Then on the fourth or fifth day she stopped sunbathing t*pless which is fine. Her choice obviously. She also became a bit cold towards me and then the second week she didn’t talk to me at all and it was obvious she was actively avoiding me.

I didn’t want to ruin her holiday so I left it but when we got back I messaged her and asked if I did something wrong. She said she got tired of me flaunting myself and showing off. I said I wasn’t showing off I was sat around the whole time with no make up on and my hair pulled back in pony tail. She said I loved the men ogling me.

I replied she was t*pless too and she said “I was but you could have warned me you’d literally be t*pless the whole time. I couldn’t keep up”. This was feeling stupid now so I told her I’d already said when we are at the villa I’ll be t*pless as it doesn’t seem worth it keep taking a top on and off. The only time I put one on was if we were sitting inside on the furniture.

She just replied with “k” which wound me up lol. I’ve told my husband and he said next year I shouldn’t go t*pless if it upsets her. I said she won’t be coming next year or I’ll be going alone. I’m not being disrespected at my own families holiday home. It’s been no problem for the last few years.. Am I the a**hole?

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

_s1m0n_s3z −  NTA. She was warned about what to expect. And you don’t get invited back when you call the hostess an attention-seeking slot.

Ricco7716 −  I went to live in Spain years ago and the conversation with locals about t*pless sunbathing came up and was their any etiquette to it. Their belief was sunbathing was fine, swimming was fine, but general activities or eating t*pless was classed as a no no.

wlfwrtr −  NTA Wobder if her BF may have made a remark about enjoying you being t*pless which made her insecure about herself.

ActualAd8091 −  NTA. But melanoma is serious. Nipple melanoma is seriously ficked.

Artistic-Emotion-623 −  I think she thought as I did in from your title you sunbath t*pless. Maybe there was a bit of miscommunication where she thought sunbath t*pless =👍 vs be t*pless all the time which she was uncomfortable with. Nakedness is an individual preference which you two are obviously comfortable with different part off.

InBellow −  You were eating meals, etc. t*pless? Sounds weird.

dingdongsbtchs −  I honestly just find this whole story hard to believe.

Last-Contribution348 −  Rich people problems.

Erza88 −  Everyone sucks here. Sure, you warned her and it’s your house and blah blah blah, but you also have a responsibility to make sure your guests feel comfortable. You know… as their host?
Also, being t*pless 90% of the time is weird as f**k.

Just like others on this thread are assuming the girl is jealous of your b*obs, I’m gonna assume there is some truth to the whole “you like the men ogling your b*obs” bit.

Desperate-Exit692 −  Ngl I thought you’d be sunbathing t*pless and not playing boardgames/eating/chilling t*pless. Personally, I’d be okay with a friend sunbathing t*pless but uncomfortable with them just being t*pless throughout. Looks like it was a miscommunication up until then.

But she becomes TA when she didn’t acknowledge her discomfort with you in a mature conversation, sent you the text, became weirdly competitive and basically called you an attention seeking s**t.. NTA.