AITAH for sleeping with my ex husband?

A Redditor shares her journey of reconnecting with her ex-husband, Ryan, after their divorce. Initially married at a young age, they faced fertility struggles that led to their separation. After a year of no contact, they ran into each other and slowly resumed their friendship, which eventually turned romantic again. When a friend discovered their relationship and expressed concern, the user is left questioning whether she is making a mistake by rekindling her romance with Ryan. Read the full story below.

‘ AITAH for sleeping with my ex husband?’

I (30f) married my ex husband Ryan (30m) very young. We were 20 when we got married and we were together since 14. We divorced 2 years ago because we faced fertility issues and I got depressed and no amount of couseling helped us. I made our lives pretty miserable, so I decided it’s time for a divorce.

After the divorce, we kept in touch. He was always checking in. He was worried about my mental health, but I was doing better. The constant reminder that I’m letting him down , that my body can’t give him a child was gone. Although that was always only in my head, because he never made me feel that way. My close friend got wind of this and pushed to cut all contact.

That it’s not healthy and this way we won’t be able to move on. But the thing is, Ryan was also my best friend and I missed him. On her insistence I wrote Ryan , that we shouldn’t keep in touch anymore. He was upset but said he understood. There was no contact between us for almost a year, but I run into him in a grocery store.

When he spotted me a huge smile lit up his face and he rushed to me a gave me the biggest bear hug. It felt really great. We chatted for a bit and he asked to get coffee with him and I agreed. Ryan asked me how I’m doing, that he was worried about me this whole time but he respected that I don’t want to speak to him so he didn’t reach out.

I told him that I’m doing great, that I really needed this time to focus only on myself. That I learned to accept that motherhood is not in the cards for me. He was also attending theraphy because he struggled without me, but also made peace that in order for me to get better, he needed to let me go.

We decided we will check with our therapists if they think it’s a good idea to keep in touch. My therapist said that If I didn’t have any negative feelings while being with Ryan, she doesn’t see a reason why we couldn’t keep in touch. His therapist said the same thing, but we should be careful and communicate well, so we don’t loose the progress we both made.

So we started to hang out ocasionally and it was great. It felt good to have him back in my life without any pressure. Months after hanging out, we were watching a movie at my place, and he kissed me and I kissed him back. We slept together that night. When we woke up we talked what this means and we decided we won’t put any pressure on us and just do what feels good.

So we kept meeting , we talked a lot about everything, our expectations in life, we also talked about reconciliation but mostly we had fun and enjoyed each other. One of our mutual friends saw us holding hands in town and he told our whole friend group.

My friend who advised me to cut contact with Ryan came that evening to my place and started yelling at me that I’m ruining Ryan’s life, that this way he will never move on. She asked if I’m sleeping with him? When I replied yes, she told me to leave him alone and stop being a slefish b…I tried to reason with her but she just told me to shut up and left.

I called Ryan right after she left and told him what happened and asked him if he wanted to move on? He said that absolutely not. That we are not hurting anyone, there are no ex partners, no children involved and we both made a huge progress and if we want to be together, it’s nobodys business. So now I’m not sure if I’m doing something wrong? If she is right and it would be the best if I let Ryan move one with someone else?

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Sad-Investigator4037 −  NTA it sounds like your friend is the one you need to actually cut off.. you are not less worthy of love bc you have fertility issues you are not manipulating ryan either. He is aware of the struggles you faced and to me it seems he is an actually decent person who cares about YOU more than the possibility of having a biological child.

Your friend is not good for your mental health she’s validating the thoughts of disappointment when this man clearly just loves you regardless she sounds like she might be into him honestly too?

[Reddit User] −  NTA. Sounds like your ex-husband never stopped loving you, nor wanted the divorce, but did it for you to be happy. You’re not hurting anyone, but your friend is a controlling ass and feelings for your ex. If your ex makes you happy, go be with your ex. You shouldn’t have left him to begin with, and worked to solve your problems together. Wishing you the best

YourMomsFavorite225 −  NTA your friend needs to stop acting like she can control your life. You and Ryan are both adults and you guys are being very smart about each others mental health. Im honestly a little invested in the relationship and wanna see what happens next

Famous_Tap_3971 −  I think your friend has a crush on him. Maybe thinks that she is the best option from him. Bc if she really likes you, she should be happy for you.

DoctorGuvnor −  ‘My friend who advised me to cut contact with Ryan came that evening to my place and started yelling at me that I’m ruining Ryan’s life,’ A more cynical person than I might think your ‘friend’ would prefer that she was the one to ruin Ryan’s life by sleeping with him. Do, please, take the opinion of a trained professional like your therapist rather than the deranged screams of a frustrated h**py.. Good luck to the two of you.

One-Awareness3671 −  NTA, but seems like you need to reevaluate your relationship with “your friend”. She’s too bothered by your relationship with Ryan, she has red flags all over her. And go get your man and live happily ever after.

superwholockian62 −  NTA. TBH it sounds like you both are still in love and just needed time apart to heal. Take things slow and keep your therapists involved. Both of you.

GreyFox-RUH −  You too are meant for each other. Adopt a kid and grow old together

Fun_Concentrate_7844 −  Your friend likes Ryan.

Cybermagetx −  NTA. Drop that friend. Shes not your friend at all. And I wouldn’t be surprised if she wanted him for herself. Honestly it sounds like you and your ex belong with each other.

Do you think the user is wrong for reigniting her relationship with her ex-husband, or is it valid for them to explore their connection again? How would you handle a situation where a friend disapproves of your romantic choices? Share your thoughts below!