AITAH For refusing to trade shifts with my coworker during Christmas because they have a small kid and I don’t?

A Redditor shared a workplace conflict about shift scheduling during Christmas. She’s scheduled for the morning shift, allowing her to spend the rest of the day with her family, while her coworker with a young child was assigned a less desirable middle shift.

The coworker requested she swap shifts, citing his family obligations, but the Redditor refused, wanting to keep her schedule. The situation escalated when the coworker criticized her for not having kids, leaving the Redditor wondering if she was in the wrong. Read the full story below for more details.

‘ AITAH For refusing to trade shifts with my coworker during Christmas because they have a small kid and I don’t?’

Basically I, 29f have the morning shift for Christmas Day which is good for me because I can then spend the rest of the day with my family and do things. My coworker, 39M has the “middle shift” that basically is 12pm to 20:30 pm which sucks bc you lose most of the day. He has a 4 year old son and a wife. When he saw the schedule he flipped out and basically flat out refused to do the shift.

Which means I will have to do it instead and I also refused, saying I want to spend time with MY family. He then started ranting about me not having kids and that I will understand when I have kids etc. basically he said he won’t do that shift and doesn’t care how the problem will be solved. Which is so selfish bc if he doesn’t do it I’ll have to do it and he knows it.

My manager says we should solve the issue on our own and make a decision. I told them I’m taking the morning shift end of story. Am I the a**hole for refusing to back down even though he has a small child and I am child free, unmarried etc? Edit to add: That I have worked the middle shift for 3 years in a row with 0 complains

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Secret_Sister_Sarah −  NTA. Not only does your coworker s**k for not having the forethought to book the day off if his kids are so important to him, but also, your manager sucks for making a schedule and then leaving it to you (!) to defend your right to just work as scheduled…

shivam99689 −  U are under no obligation to trade shifts, especially since you already have plans and the shift arrangement works for u. While it’s understandable that your coworker wants to spend time with his family, his situation doesn’t obligate you to sacrifice your own. The manager should help mediate if there’s an issue. NTA.

judgingA-holes −  INFO: So he would rather work the morning shift even though he has a small kid at home so he wouldn’t get to see their “Christmas morning joy”, or he just doesn’t won’t to work Christmas day at all?

Either way I’m going with NTA because I mean you didn’t make the schedule. And the manager really should handle this situation because saying “work it out amongst yourselves” clearly isn’t going to work here. And if you work your shift, regardless if he works his or not, it shouldn’t be on you to cover his shift. It’s a managers job to either found someone to cover it, or cover it themselves, but not to say that you HAVE to do it.

TheCraftyVulture −  Nta. It is not the responsibility of the childfree or childless to pander to those who have children.

Big-Connection-2030 −  If he wanted the morning shift, he should have come to the manager on his own and expressed this. The schedule is made and you are not obligated to switch or cover his shift. That is not your scheduled shift so it’s not your problem. The manager has to figure it out or be prepared to have a call out or no show no call. That’s not your problem either.. EDIT: Realized I didn’t say NTA.

quirkytypeofteacher −  Nope, NTA.
1. You didn’t make the schedule. Your manager did.
2. Just because you don’t have children doesn’t mean that you don’t have a life outside of work and family.
3. You should be able to enjoy your Christmas also.
4. Do not give into the entitled and demanding coworker.

Mother_Search3350 −  Do your morning shift and go home to your family.  He can sort it out as an adult who is 10 years older than you without throwing an toddler tantrum. Don’t discuss it with him or any other person. Take a screenshot of the schedule and date and time stamp it. Post it to your WhatsApp or FB story to create a digital trail.  He can deal with the supervisor and the manager and anyone else. NTAH.

Chardan0001 −  Don’t do it. You are under zero obligation to cover the shift. It’s on your manager.

Lower-Satisfaction16 −  This is actually the managers problem, telling you to work it out between yourselves is lazy and incompetent. You are scheduled for the morning shift, do it and leave. If your co-worker does not turn up for his shift, it is up to the manager to fill it. NTA and not your problem.

Useful_Context_2602 −  NTA. When you work in an industry that opens on holidays there’s always the risk of picking up sub-prime shifts. If your co-worker can’t handle that they need to get another job.