AITAH for refusing to subsidize my wife and kids any more?

A Reddit user explains his decision to stop financially supporting his wife and two adult children, all of whom have full-time jobs but have never contributed to household expenses. Frustrated by their lack of effort, including failing to stock basic groceries he requested, he decided to relocate to his retirement property overseas and cease funding their household budget. Now, his family is furious, and he’s left wondering if his decision was too harsh. Read the full story below and weigh in.

‘ AITAH for refusing to subsidize my wife and kids any more?’

All three of them are adults with full time jobs. None of them have contributed financially to our household budget. My wife went back to work full time when our youngest was 7. He is currently 24. Our oldest is 27. They kids have no student debt. Our retirement property is overseas and that’s where I am currently.

Two months ago I finally had enough. I came home from an out of town work trip and none of the food I request be in the house is there. And it isn’t caviar and lobster or anything. It’s a loaf of sourdough, some deli meat and cheese, and some condiments. Enough so I can make a sandwich before I go grocery shopping.

Apparently that was too difficult for three adults to manage. My wife and I had an argument about it and the kids took her side. I reminded them that they were supposed to be contributing to the budget and then all three of them started whining about life being expensive. No s**t. I’m working to support all four of us.

Whatever. I made plans to go to our property on my next rotation. So after my time off I went back to work. Then when I flew home I just stayed at the airport overnight and flew out the n the morning.

I also didn’t deposit money into the budget account. So they are paying for “everything” the house, my truck, and my wife’s car are all fully paid off. So they are paying for their own utilities, property taxes, food, and bills. And they are all furious that I’m not giving them money.

I’m good here. When I go back to work I will do the same thing. Just stay overnight at the hotel and fly to work. My company ev n flew me to a more convenient city for me to fly out from. I think that three adults with full time jobs and a free place to live should do fine.

I probably missed a bunch of information but I’m drunk and you can ask questions. If they aren’t stupid I will answer.. AITAH?

See what others had to share with OP:

Zscalerrguy −  No, not the AH. What’s your next move? It already sounds like you’re separated, is that becoming permanent? I don’t know how to assist you but I wish you the Best of Luck.

PensionLegitimate706 −  NTA but you probably should’ve made your kids “adult” long before this. From what you wrote, they appear to live with and don’t have much going for them.

nomisr −  Are you even sure they’re paying for things like the property taxes, and other bills? Are they under your name because you might want to switch it out so they don’t let it just go into collection and you end up with the bill.

No_Lavishness_3206 −  NTA. You worked a long time to get them where they are. They should be contributing.

InfamousCup7097 −  Lock down your credit and make sure the wife and kids can’t open a bunch of credit cards in your name. Keep an eye on any shared savings accounts. Make sure too that the title for your truck doesn’t say “or” with your wife’s name on it, or she might be able to sell it. You’ve done enough. They can take care of themselves. Don’t enable bad behavior, and don’t prevent them all from growing up finally. NTA.

SunshynePower −  Talk to a lawyer in your country of residence to make sure they can’t sue you for support. See if it would be wise to make a lease for your kids. I’m serious. People have lost homes in the US for kicking their kids out with no warning and the kids lawyered up and got the house.

Talk to a lawyer before you take this further. I support your desire to want this to be more fair but these are the consequences of not marrying a mature person and then not raising your children to be adults. I’m sorry that you are here. You aren’t alone. Lots of non-adult adults running around out here. Just protect yourself.

peakpenguins −  I think you have some valid frustrations but it certainly seems like you’re handling it in a way that’s going to lead to divorce. If that’s what you’re into then carry on.

Starrion −  So are you saying you’re going out for Milk and you’ll be back soon?

Over-Ad-6555 −  NTA. Change the locks on the vacation property if your wife and kids have keys to it.

BringerOfGifts −  To be fair, you created this situation by not addressing it early on.