AITAH for refusing to put sunscreen on my stepsisters back because its covered in pimples?
A teenager on a family beach vacation refused to apply sunscreen on her stepsister’s back because it was covered in pimples, making her uncomfortable. The stepsister kept pushing until the refusal included a direct mention of her acne, leading to hurt feelings and a sunburn after she didn’t listen to warnings to wear a shirt.
Now, the stepmom is upset, claiming the teenager ruined the trip by making her daughter feel bad about her body and causing her to get sunburned.
AITAH for refusing to put sunscreen on my stepsisters back because its covered in pimples?
My family is on vacation near the coast right now. Yesterday I went to the beach with my dad, brother, and step sister. My stepmom didnโt go because they had a spa appointment. When we got there the first thing we did is put on sunscreen. My stepsister is really big so she couldnโt reach her back to put on sunscreen.
She wasnโt comfortable with my dad or brother putting sunscreen on her, so she asked me to. I said I wasnโt comfortable with that. My reason was because her back is covered in pimples and black heads and I didnโt want to touch that.
I didnโt say that at first though because I didnโt want to be mean, but she kept pushing and wouldnโt leave me alone so I told her I didnโt want to touch her pimples. She got really upset and ended going further down the beach from us. My dad warned her to keep her tshirt on, but she didnโt and she ended up getting a bad sunburn.
When we got back to the hotel she went crying to her mom blaming me. So now my stepmom is also mad at me for not putting on sunscreen and for making her daughter feel bad about her body. She says I ruined the trip for her because now sheโs feeling bad about herself and in too much pain to enjoy it.
She thinks itโs perfectly acceptable that her daughter didnโt feel comfortable with my dad or brother putting sunscreen on her since theyโre guys, but apparently me being uncomfortable touching her daughters pimply back doesnโt matter.
I donโt see why her comfort is more important than mine. Also I wouldnโt have said anything about her bacne if she had just accepted my no and left me alone.
Edit. Told my stepmom and dad they should buy some spray sunscreen like people suggested
2nd edit. So people have explained to me that size doesnโt have anything to do with whether or not a person can reach their back to put on sunscreen and that itโs actually about how flexible your joints are. I honestly didnโt know that before and wrongly thought her size was the reason why she couldnโt put sunscreen on by herself.
3rd edit. I never thought acne was contagious. Thatโs not the problem and I donโt know why people keep commenting that.
4th edit. People in these comments are going back and forth on whether her size makes a difference in being able to put sunblock on. At this point Iโm going with its a combination of that and joint flexibility. But seriously I donโt care about her weight. I just thought it was relevant information. You guys getting upset about that are making assumptions.
Hereโs what people had to say to OP:
[deleted] ( Top 1 ) says
I have literally had a stranger come up to me in public that needed ointment applied to his back shoulder (looked like infected bacne) and I was the only person around that could help. It was quite gross, but I can’t imagine how the person must have felt that no one wanted to help him for that reason.
You’re NTA, but you’re not a hero either lol.
Ryinne ( Top 2 ) says
ESH. This family needs a f**cking crash course in empathy. Reddit always comes in clutch with the technicalities of a situation. No technically you arenโt wrong. You donโt have to touch anyone for any reason at all. That being said; youโre being immature. Itโs acne and it happens, and I hope it doesnโt happen to you in the future.
Your stepmom is technically being an a**shole for demanding that you help her daughter. That being said, it is normal for people to help apply each other sunscreen. Especially when they are family.
The stepsister shouldnโt have pushed you for an answer, but expecting her just to keep her f**cking shirt on? You guys are f**cking weirdos. Also most people, regardless of size, canโt reach the middle of their back to put on sunscreen. The added jab of calling her really big was unnecessary.
Anyways best of luck to yโall.
ragdoll1022 ( Top 4 ) says
It’s unreal how your boundaries can be s**it all over, but hers are to be honored. NTA
[deleted] ( Top 5 ) says
๐if anyone can contact Larry David please make him aware of this sub. He could do so much with the material I read on here. The Iranian yogurt isn’t the issue here.
MaintenanceNo8442 ( Top 6 ) says
spray sunscreen
jacksonlove3 ( Top 7 ) says
Nope NtA. She wasnโt comfortable with own the guys doing it and your werenโt comfortable touching her skin. SHE however made the decision to not cover her back like dad suggested, so her sunburn was her choice! Next time your family needs spray on sunscreen!
Minimum_Key_6272 ( Top 8 ) says
Nta for not applying sunscreen. Yta for the way you’re talking about your step sister.
sugarcookiecutie ( Top 9 ) says
A light YTA, I can definitely understand why you didnโt wanna do it. My sister has eczema and she would ask me to put lotion on her back sometimes and sometimes I did it but it was a hassle and I hated the way lotion feels on my skin.
So sometimes Iโd tell her no. When I got older and I got sunburns because I lived alone and was single so I didnโt have anyone to help me. And when I finally had someone to help me, it was amazing.
I then felt how my sister felt when Iโd tell her no and how l**me it is when you canโt cover your full back. I called her and apologized for all those times I told her no, because back then I just didnโt realize how it effected her. Cus I just wanted to not do it.
I hope you apologize and grow up a little cus trust me touching pimples isnโt the worst thing, and itโs just a nice thing to do for someone. You clearly havenโt had to lift a finger in your life.
You have every right to say no, but it doesnโt mean itโs the right thing to do.
Edit: slight ETA, she DID have the option to cover up and she chose not to. So the sunburn IS her fault. It just would have been the nice thing if you had done it for her.
Ahviaa224 ( Top 10 ) says
No matter how big or small you are, you canโt put sunscreen on your own back.
Spray sunscreen exists. Spray and move on.