AITAH for refusing to punish my son after he cursed out my niece and nephew when they weren’t respecting his boundaries?

A father is facing backlash from family after his 15-year-old son cursed at his older cousins for tickling him, despite repeatedly asking them to stop. The father had tried to intervene, but when the tickling continued, his son swore at them to get away.

The father refused to punish his son, viewing the outburst as self-defense and instead treated him to ice cream to calm him down. Now, the family insists the son was disrespectful, urging the father to ground him, but he stands firm in supporting his child’s right to enforce boundaries.

‘ AITAH for refusing to punish my son after he cursed out my niece and nephew when they weren’t respecting his boundaries?’

I (m37) have a 15 year old son. For context, I have always taught him about personal space and having autonomy over your body. I didn’t get that respect as a kid so I have made sure he knows that.

We were at a family gathering yesterday and his older cousins wouldn’t stop tickling him. I personally feel that he’s tickling someone like that is a**usive, but maybe I’m in the wrong.

I tried to get them to stop but they wouldn’t let him get up and finally he told them to get the f*** off of him. Now obviously I know that cursing isn’t the best reaction but in my eyes he was defending himself.

I left with him after because I was upset at my family. He seemed distressed so we went and had ice cream together and it cheered him up.Since then I’ve been bombarded with messages telling me how I let my son disrespect his cousins and how I need to ground him for doing that.

I’ve told them that that’s not happening and I feel like I’m in the right, but I’ve gotten so many messages that I genuinely can’t tell if i’m the a**shole. AITAH?

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

miyuki_m ( Top 1 ) says

NTA. These cousins are older than your son, and they were refusing to let him up or stop tickling him, even after you tried to get them to stop.They *earned* a cussing-out and they’re lucky he didn’t start swinging. Any family members who understand what actually happened but still expect your son to be punished are out of their f**cking minds.

jacksonlove3 ( Top 2 ) says

NTA. They’re saying he was disrespectful for cussing out his cousin but they’re not looking at the cousin being disrespectful for not listening to him and you both said “stop”. Respect goes both ways.

bluetortuga ( Top 3 ) says

Nope. I would have done the same. Good work, dad.
ETA: corrected parent

Sweet_and_Sassy88 ( Top 4 ) says

So I am guessing that nobody told the cousins that “no means no,” or to stop when someone says stop, or to not touch other people without consent. I would tell your family they should probably be focusing on that rather than your kid swearing.

jetbag513 ( Top 5 ) says

My family would tickle me until I peed my pants. I f**cking hated it. I started kicking people in the balls and scratching the s**it out of them. Told them I was calling the cops and CPS if the s**it didn’t stop. Think I was about 6 or 7. Then it became one of those “funny” family stories of “remember when \_\_\_\_ flipped out?”

Hilarious, right? That is straight-up abuse.

Same_Masterpiece7348 ( Top 6 ) says

NTA. Tickling is weird and just sucks. Forcing it and not stopping is way over the line

WhyAmIStillHere86 ( Top 7 ) says

If he told them to stop and they refused, that’s a**sault.
NTA

yesimreadytorumble ( Top 8 ) says

Nta but people need to stop acting like cursing is the worst thing in the world

Siah9407 ( Top 9 ) says

I’m sorry you tried to get them to stop, and they still wouldn’t? So it’s perfectly okay for those children to disrespect you, an adult but not okay that a child “disrespected” those children? Yeah your family is crazy!!! Totally not the AH!!! Hopefully he got a double scoop!!!!

Firefox_Alpha2 ( Top 10 ) says

NTA – not only would I tell family that you won’t punish him, but he is free and clear to use physical force if his cousins do that again