AITAH for Refusing to Let My Sister’s Family Live in My House After They Sold Theirs for a “Dream Vacation”?
A Reddit user (32M) shared a dilemma where his sister (29F) and her family sold their house to fund a year-long “dream vacation.” Unfortunately, their plans quickly fell apart when their money ran out, leaving them unable to continue traveling. Now, they’re asking to live with the user for 10 months while they “figure things out.”
Despite his refusal, offering alternative help like helping them find a rental or covering some expenses, his sister and parents are upset, calling him selfish. The user is now questioning if he’s in the wrong for not letting his sister’s family live with him.
‘ AITAH for Refusing to Let My Sister’s Family Live in My House After They Sold Theirs for a “Dream Vacation”?’
So, I (32M) own a modest three-bedroom house that I’ve been paying off for the last ten years. It’s nothing fancy, but it’s mine, and I’m proud of it. My sister (29F) and her husband (31M) are the typical free-spirited types. They’ve always talked about quitting the r** race, living life to the fullest, all that.
Well, a few months ago, they finally did it—they sold their house during a booming market, thinking the profit would fund a year-long break to travel. They believed they could stretch the money by traveling cheaply, staying in hostels or Airbnbs, and getting by with occasional odd jobs.
At first, they stayed in nicer places and ate out a lot, thinking they had plenty of cushion, but within two months, they were out of money. They underestimated how quickly expenses would pile up, especially with two young kids (7F and 5M) to feed and care for.
Now that their funds are drained, they’ve decided to stop full-time travel but don’t want to settle down yet. Instead, they asked to live with me, rent-free, for the next 10 months while they “figure things out.” They say they’ll still try to take some occasional trips if they find super cheap deals, but for the most part, they want to stay at my house.
I told them no. My house isn’t big enough, I don’t want the disruption, and I certainly don’t think it’s fair for them to live off me because their plan failed. I offered to help them find an affordable rental or even cover part of their expenses for a couple of months so they could get back on their feet, but that wasn’t enough.
My sister blew up at me, calling me s**fish and accusing me of being jealous of their “adventurous lifestyle.” To make it worse, my parents are siding with her, saying that family should help family and that I’m being too rigid.
The thing is, my parents live in a small apartment and can’t take in my sister’s family, which is probably why they’re pushing it on me. They say I don’t understand the “value of experiences” and that I should be more supportive.
Some of our mutual friends are also saying I should be more understanding, but I think it’s completely unreasonable to expect me to house their whole family for nearly a year just because they didn’t plan properly.. AITAH?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
bythebrook88 − They say I don’t understand the “value of experiences”. Tell them you don’t ‘value the experience’ of have freeloaders in your house indefinitely. NTA
CinnamonBlue − Financial s**ew-ups: Check. Parents on side of financial s**ew-ups: Check. Mutual friends on side of financial s**ew-ups: Check. Parents can upsize. Mutual friends can accommodate. You are under zero obligation to fund their financial s**ew ups.
Dresden_Mouse − Then they should “value the experience” of homelessness.
WickedWhimsyy − Definitely not the a**hole. You didn’t sign up to be a hotel for your sister’s impulsive decisions. Let them enjoy their “dream vacation” while you enjoy the peace and quiet of your own home.
Pretty_Shanee − NTA – You are not obligated to bail your sister and her family out of a situation they created for themselves. You offered reasonable help, and they need to take responsibility for their choices.
celticmusebooks − Family helps family when they actually NEED help. Your sister and her husband don’t NEED help. They can get jobs and rent a place to live.
They are CHOOSING to be LAZY and not take care of themselves and their kids. **My sister blew up at me, calling me s**fish and accusing me of being jealous of their “adventurous lifestyle.”** This gave me a HUGE laugh.
Your sister is basically homeless and doesn’t appear to have the mental health bandwidth to live with the consequences of her actions. LOL “adventurous lifestyle” — she apparently can’t even spell “irresponsible”.. NTA.
Tell you parents DIRECTLY that you are NOT going to subsidize the irresponsible lifestyle of two health adults who are fully capable of getting a job and renting a place to live and that any futher B**LYING from them (or your sister) will only result in going no contact until the b**lying stops.
BlueGreen_1956 − NTA. Yikes! No! Once freeloaders start freeloading, it never ends.. You should not give them a penny.
NaturesVividPictures − NTA. If They want something cheap they can go buy a small camper, and go rent space at a campground, wouldn’t cost them that much and they have a roof over their head, electricity, water and access to showers and a bathroom.
That’s about as free spirited as it gets and they can hitch it up to a vehicle assuming they have a car and drive it anywhere. I feel bad for those kids though with the parents are living irresponsibly and don’t give a darn about them because they’re so s**fish.
If they could afford the lifestyle of going anywhere and do everything fine but obviously they can’t. No you shouldn’t have to support two people who are extremely s**fish and just doing whatever the heck they want because they don’t want responsibility.
They shouldn’t have had two children if they wanted to live a vagabond life. Don’t even let them Park in your driveway, you’ll never get them to leave. Even if they pitch tents in the backyard they’ll be in your house all the time using your water, electricity, bathrooms, and eating all your food.
Tell your parents to s**k it up and let them live in their living room or they can offer to pay their rent for 3 months in a cheap apartment. Your sister can get the experience of roughing it there.
Ambitious_Run_6389 − Absolutely not. You’re not the AH here. You’re being asked to pick up the pieces of someone else’s reckless decision. Selling a house to fund a vacation and then expecting you to provide a safety net is beyond entitled.
You’ve worked hard to build something for yourself, and you have every right to protect that. Helping family doesn’t mean sacrificing your peace and stability, especially when they refuse to take responsibility for their own choices.
You offered to help them find a rental and even contribute financially— that’s more than generous. They’re asking you to bear the cost of their impulsive behavior for nearly a year. That’s not support, that’s enabling. Don’t let anyone guilt-trip you into thinking you’re in the wrong here.
Boundaries aren’t s**fish; they’re necessary. And you’ve set a fair one. If they really value experiences so much, maybe it’s time they experience the reality of their decisions. What would *they* do if the roles were reversed? Would they really be willing to upend their entire lives to accommodate you?
LeftPhilosopher9628 − NTA – Die on this hill if you must, but DO NOT yield to this guilt-tripping. If you let them in, they will never leave
Do you think the user was right to refuse to let his sister’s family move in, or should he have been more understanding of their situation? How would you handle a similar request from family members in need? Share your thoughts in the comments below!