AITAH for refusing to let my coworker borrow my expensive headphones even though she was upset?
A worker recently bought a pair of expensive noise-canceling headphones to help with focus in a noisy office. When a coworker (32F) asked to borrow them for a Zoom meeting because she forgot her earbuds, the worker politely refused.
The coworker became upset, calling the worker selfish, and some coworkers have since expressed that they think the refusal was unreasonable. The worker is now questioning whether they were wrong. Read the original story below for more details.
‘ AITAH for refusing to let my coworker borrow my expensive headphones even though she was upset?’
I recently bought myself a pair of really expensive noise-canceling headphones that I use for work. they help me focus in a noisy office environment, and I love them.
Yesterday, my coworker (32F) came over visibly upset because she forgot her earbuds and had an important Zoom meeting. She asked to borrow my headphones for the meeting, but I (very) politely said no because:.
1. i need them for work. 2. they were a big investment, and im nervous about other people handling them. She got really flustered and said I was being selfish because it was ‘just one meeting,’ and she would be super careful.
I still refused, and now some coworkers are saying I was being unreasonable and should’ve helped her out in her time of need. I feel bad, but i also think its a personal item that I shouldn’t have to lend out… ALSO we have single use meeting rooms if you dont have headphones like what???
See what others had to share with OP:
makemycockcry − I had the same thing happen. My expensive headset was on my desk. “Can I borrow your headset for a meeting? “she said. I reached into my drawer and got out the s**tty single earpiece company ones, and all of a sudden, it didn’t matter. NTA.
Seashell_2501 − Omg who asks to borrow someone’s headphones, it’s unhygienic
I_wanna_be_anemone − Bring it up with management about having spare company headphones available so this incident doesn’t happen again. If management tells coworker to just go to a meeting room, problem solved. Thats the standard going forward.
No one should expect you to risk damage to your personal property or for you to harm your work productivity because the device you bought to aid your ability to focus is being used by someone who didn’t remember key equipment for performing her duties. Accidents happen, she can ask but when you said no she should have moved on.
Also, am I the only person who carries more than one set of headphones? I have a typical Bluetooth set and a cabled set in case the Bluetooth ones run out of juice. If my job depended on having headphones, I’d bring at least one set as a backup to keep in the office drawer or something. NTA
lychigo − NTA “Sorry, I’m about to have a meeting and need them” – and just everytime say you’re about to have a meeting and need them. And I don’t see the other coworkers giving their headphones to the person.
ChickenEclipse − edit: i forgot to mention, the reason i posted this is because everyone on my team said YTA and im being selfish
VegetableBusiness897 − No, just….no. Someone’s else’s ear funk in your new headphones?? 🤢
ratat-atat − NTA. Headphones to me are personal, not to be shared.
PatentlyRidiculous − NTA. Ignore her
dplafoll − NTA. Personal equipment at the office is not required to be loaned out in any way. Further, your coworker needs equipment that should be provided by the company, or herself. She should never have gone to a coworker for this, but to the company (or to the store for a spare pair).
Fast-typist − Did we learn nothing from Covid? SMH
It’s tough when balancing personal boundaries with the needs of others, especially in a work environment. While it’s understandable to want to protect valuable personal items, the reaction of your coworkers suggests that they see this as a minor favor in the grand scheme of things. Do you think you could have found a middle ground? Let us know your thoughts in the comments.