AITAH for refusing to let my cousin stay in my apartment while she looks for a job?
A 20-year-old woman, living alone in a small apartment she worked hard to afford, declined her 23-year-old cousin’s request to stay with her while job hunting in the city. While the cousin claimed it would be only for a few weeks, past behavior made the woman doubtful about her commitment.
After refusing, the cousin and other family members accused her of being selfish and ungrateful, comparing the situation to a time she stayed with a family member during a brief visit. read the original story below…
‘ AITAH for refusing to let my cousin stay in my apartment while she looks for a job ?’
I (20F) live alone in a small one-bedroom apartment I worked hard to afford. My cousin (23F) recently graduated college and asked if she could stay with me while she looks for a job in the city. She claimed it would only be for a few weeks, but knowing her, she is not the most organized or proactive.
I have seen her let things drag on for months in the past, and I honestly do not want to deal with that in my space. I told her I am sorry, but I cannot have her stay here, and she should look for other options. She got upset, saying I am being selfish and it is family, so I should help her out.
My aunt called me later, saying I am ungrateful because she let me stay with her for a week once when I was visiting a few years ago. Now I am being guilted by half the family for not stepping up. AITAH?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
Jerseygirl2468 − NTA it’s a small one bedroom apartment, you don’t have room. How far away does she live? I could MAYBE see letting her crash on the couch if she comes into the city for an interview, but letting her move in while she takes her time finding a job? No.
AnonAnontheAnony − NTA – Your apartment, your rules. You are under no obligation to allow her to tay. In fact, often times, apartments you can get into trouble for HAVING extended stay guests without permission. You did nothing wrong, especially if you were polite about it.
MadameFlora − Say she found a job in a week. Or a month. Or six months. She would then need to work to save $ for deposit, rent, etc. It’s your home. NTA.
Legitimate-Ad231 − NTA she let you stay there for a week a few years ago….that’s not the same as staying for x amount of time until you settle in a new city. I have family that guilt trips as well and have a few AITH posts on reddit. I’ve learned over the years to say no. Your place, your rules.
Prize-Bumblebee-2192 − NTA You deserve to feel comfortable and secure in your home without worrying about displacement bc of a guest that likely will not leave when the 3 week term is up. The issue is that once cousin gets in, will they get out if they haven’t gotten a job within 3 weeks?
Likely not based on the entitled response you got from cousin and aunt. Just curious – why can’t cousin look for jobs while living at home with their mom?
VinylHighway − NTA – one bedroom apartment. I wouldn’t want ANYONE there for that long. Why does she need to be in your apartment to look for a job?
Traditional-Bag-4508 − Visiting is much different than “let me stay with you while I look for a job”. Can’t compare apples to oranges. NTA
Economy_Rutabaga9450 − Tell them there are restrictions on your lease.
Malibu_Cola − NTA. You have no room for her. They’re not offering to house her either, so they shouldn’t be calling you selfish.
Paevatar − NTA You might tell her your lease prohibits it
Balancing personal boundaries with family expectations can be challenging. Do you think the woman is right to prioritize her space and peace, or should she have made an exception for family? Share your perspective in the comments below!