AITAH for refusing to help my coworker after he took a dig at me for finishing my work early?
A man shares how a coworker’s snide remark about his time management left a bitter taste, leading him to refuse when the same coworker asked for help later that day. The refusal resulted in missed deadlines and office gossip about teamwork, leaving the man wondering if he was wrong to stand his ground.
‘ AITAH for refusing to help my coworker after he took a dig at me for finishing my work early?’
I (40M) work in a pretty fast-paced office, and last week, my coworker Mark (34M) and I were both working on separate but related parts of a big project. I’m someone who likes to plan my time carefully, so I started early and made sure my portion was finished a day before the deadline.
That morning, while chatting near the coffee machine, Mark made an offhand comment in front of a few coworkers: “Must be nice having enough time to stroll around the office. I’m drowning over here while some people are on cruise control.”
I brushed it off at the time, but honestly, I found it irritating. I don’t stroll—I just manage my workload well. Fast forward to 5pm that day. I’m packing up to leave when Mark comes to my desk looking stressed and says, “Hey mate, I’m not going to finish my part on time. Can you stay late and help me out?”
I calmly told him I couldn’t—I’d already done my share of the work, and I had plans that evening. He got frustrated and muttered, “Typical.” I didn’t argue, I just left.
The next day, Mark missed the deadline, and our manager wasn’t happy. Now a few people are saying I could’ve been more of a team player and helped him out. I can’t help but feel like if he’d asked respectfully instead of taking digs at me earlier, I might have been more willing to stay.
Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:
Glittering_Ad_4 − NTA- your coworker’s lack of planning does not constitute an emergency on your part, especially after he badmouthed you. The fact that he expected you to help after that is wild.
LindonLilBlueBalls − I would go to the coworkers who told you to be a “teamplayer” and tell them you will be going to their boss to explain how they want to start staying late to do extra work for Mark. Watch how fast helping coworkers is suddenly more difficult and a case by case basis when it is their time and energy involved.
Hadge_Padge − Good boundaries, good self-respect, NTA. Maybe if Mark was a better team player, he wouldn’t have missed the deadline.
chez2202 − NTA. He had every chance to ask you in the morning for help instead of bitching.. He waited until 5pm.. That’s his problem, not yours.
nycsafetyguy − Maybe those who said you should be more of a team player should have stayed late themselves to help Mark.
ContentMembership481 − “if he’d asked respectfully instead of taking digs at me earlier, I might have been more willing to stay.“ Yeah, that’s how that usually works… Tell him so.
Little_Fox0112 − Nta. His miss management of time isn’t your emergency
Alfred-Register7379 − NTA. Coworker hasn’t figured out the art of communicating in the workforce. He sh.t himself in the foot, on this one. You have done your assignment on time, while he was strolling around and talking smack. It’s on him. Your work, and work ethics speaks for itself.
Randadory − NAH, he chose to make digs at you.
Sick_Of_Facebook75 − Looks like Mark FAFO’d. No, you are NTA for refusing to bail Mark out after not managing his time better, and/or asking for help earlier that day, even if he hadn’t made the rude comments he made.
Do you think he was justified in refusing to help after the earlier comment, or should teamwork always come first, regardless of personal feelings? How would you handle a similar situation? Share your thoughts below!