AITAH for refusing to give my late husband’s (possible) affair baby any money?

A Reddit user is dealing with a situation involving a woman who claims her child is the result of an affair with the user’s late husband. Despite the child possibly being his, the user feels no obligation to provide any financial support, especially since the child was conceived very close to his death.

The user recently sold a rental property that was part of her late husband’s assets, which will fund her child’s college education. While she acknowledges the child’s possible connection to her husband, she feels it’s her responsibility to prioritize her own child’s future and is not inclined to offer any money to the alleged affair child. To read the full story, check out the original post below…

‘ AITAH for refusing to give my late husband’s (possible) affair baby any money?’

The article has the next update at the end.

My husband passed away almost three years ago leaving me a solo mom of an 8 year-old. I’ve learned a lot about who he really was since then. Let’s just say that if he were alive, we wouldn’t still be married. About six weeks ago, a process server showed up trying to serve him with a court order to submit DNA for a kid. I gave him a copy of the d**th certificate and sent him on his way.

Shortly after that, a woman shows up on my doorstep saying that the kid she had with her was my late husband’s child. Is it? I don’t know and I don’t care. It kind of looks like him, but also looks young enough that they would have had to have been conceived very, very shortly before his d**th. I told her that he was gone and where she could find his grave. She almost immediately started demanding “her half” of his estate. I laughed and told her that half of nothing was nothing and she was welcome to that.

Where I’ve been informed that I might be TA is that while it’s true there was no estate, there were assets that passed outside of probate. One of those assets was a rental property that his parents gave us years ago, deeded with him and I as joint tenant with rights of survivorship. In short, it became mine when he died.

I’ve already sold it and that will be the money that sends my kid to college. Legally, I’m good (already talked to my attorney about this). While I feel bad for this child, I also have a child of my own to look out for.

I’m going to edit this to answer a few questions that I’ve gotten. No, there was no will in place for him. In my state, intestate inheritance laws say that if the only heirs are me and my child then the first $50k of the estate go to me and my child gets half of what’s left. If this does turn out to be his child then half of the estate would go to me and half to the children (i.e. my child would get 25% and the other child would get 25%).

However, that is a moot point because his estate was literally an empty bank account and $40 in cash. Everything else passed outside of probate. A good estate attorney is worth every penny even if I never could get him to meet with her to do his damn will.. There was no life insurance.

Yes, I’m in the US and my child is receiving survivor’s benefits. They aren’t huge, but they do pay for the therapy bills. He hadn’t worked for a vast majority of our marriage, but luckily did have enough credits to qualify. At this point, I’m not opposed to helping the other child receive the same benefits since it won’t affect mine, however my attorney has recommended to hold off at this time because we don’t know what she’s planning.

She assures me that if the other mother files with social security that they will backdate any payments to at least the date filed, so holding off won’t affect the total amount if it does turn out to be his child. I have no idea if she knew he was married at the time or not. My husband’s parents are alive, but our relationship is strained, at best. I haven’t told them about any of this and have done my best to let them keep believing that their son was a saint.

Update here: https://aita.pics/sLHuE

These are the responses from Reddit users:

ObeseVegetable −  NTA.   And for what it’s worth, that’s not a terribly uncommon s**m for some reason. If you still have the papers I’d look into if they were even legitimate. 

New_Standard_8609 −  NTA – I would have said “He died with a ton of debt. Let me get your info so I can transfer half of it to you.” She would be out of there so fast!. Edit: spelling.

churchofdan −  NTA The gall of this woman to show up at your door. “I banged your husband and had his baby and now you must give me money.” Too bad for the kid, but she’s reaping what she sowed. Do NOT lose sleep over this.

JuliaX1984 −  NTA There was no estate. Even a known kid of his would have had no right to the money from the sale of your house.

compassrunner −  NTA. There is no DNA test to prove this child is his and he is gone. I don’t think are required to acknowledge this child, especially since the estate is settled.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. You didn’t even know of her existence and you have your own child. And you don’t even know if it’s actually his or not. Definitely NTA.

Apprehensive-Care20z −  NTA. Don’t even give a second of thought about this again. Just tell yourself “It was just a s**m”. And never talk to that person again, get a restraining order if it comes to it. Having said that, if you ever are served with papers (i.e. an actual lawsuit has been filed) then lawyer up immediately and vigorously defend yourself.

mi_nombre_es_ricardo −  NTA unless she has a way to prove paternity, you have ZERO obligations to her or her affair baby. Even if he is, the rental property was in your name, so it was not your husband’s to give away. Remember she chose to wreck your house. I would not open the door for her.

Funny247365 −  NTA. It’s between your late hubby and his baby momma. You received sole possession of all assets upon his d**th, and you owe nothing to the baby momma. She should have informed him she was pregnant with his child while he was alive, if she knew. Why did she wait 3 years to come forward?

Diasies_inMyHair −  NTA – the house belonged to the two of you. It wasn’t left to his children. Ethically, you are in the clear here. There’s no estate, what passed legally to you outside of probate is yours. Her situation is sad, but it is what it is. Don’t have children with married men, unless you are the one he’s married to.