AITAH for refusing to babysit my niece because my sister kept a secret from me?

A Reddit user shared a heartfelt story about discovering a deep betrayal by their twin sister, who used a personal story to gain an advantage years ago. When asked to babysit her child shortly after the revelation, the user declined, needing time to process their emotions.

This decision sparked a family rift, with opinions divided over whether they acted out of justified hurt or immaturity. To read the full story, see the post below…

‘ AITAH for refusing to babysit my niece because my sister kept a secret from me?’

Here’s the context. I have a twin sister, let’s call her Ellie, and we’ve always been close. She’s my other half, and we tell each other everything, or so I thought. Recently, she gave birth to her first child, a beautiful baby girl that for the sake of privacy we will call Emma.

Naturally, I’ve been thrilled to be an uncle and have been doing everything I can to help. Last weekend, Ellie asked me to babysit Emma for a few hours while she and her husband attended a wedding. I agreed because, of course, anything for family. But then, two days before the wedding, I found out something that shook me to my core.

Ellie lied to me for years about a big decision she made when we were younger. We both applied to the same university after high school, but I was rejected, and she got in. I always thought it was bad luck on my part, but through a mutual friend, I found out that Ellie was originally waitlisted.

According to this friend, Ellie wrote a heartfelt letter to admissions explaining how much she wanted to attend—using a story I told her about a difficult time in my life as the emotional hook. I confronted Ellie about this, and after a long pause, she admitted it was true.

She argued that she only did it because she was desperate, and she knew I’d want the best for her. She claimed it didn’t matter in the end because she still earned her place through hard work. But to me, it felt like a betrayal. That story was personal, and she used it for her own gain without even telling me.

So, when the babysitting day came, I told her I couldn’t do it. I said I needed time to process what I’d learned and that I wasn’t in the right headspace to look after Emma. She was furious, saying I was punishing her and her daughter for something that happened years ago.

She accused me of being immature and said I was letting Emma suffer because I couldn’t get over myself. The thing is, I adore Emma, and I would never intentionally hurt her. But I couldn’t just pretend everything was fine when my trust in Ellie had been shattered.

Our parents are split: my mom thinks I’m justified in feeling hurt, but my dad says I’m being petty and should’ve babysat because “family comes first.” Now Ellie and I aren’t speaking, and I’m wondering if I overreacted. AITAH?

See what others had to share with OP:

BoomBangKersplat −  your dad can babysit if he feels so strongly about it

RealFakeLlama −  Old news for her. Recent betrayel for you, since you only now learned she took *your* personal experience claimed as *her* own for *her* own gain. That makes her the a**hole and not you.

Tall-Negotiation6623 −  NTA. She stole your story for her benefit, that was selfish and the betrayal is fresh for you. And you didn’t punish your niece by backing out of babysitting, your sister was the one that had to face consequences of her past actions and suddenly lacked a babysitter so she could attend a wedding.

She tried to guilt you by claiming you were punishing Emma, which was s**tty of her. She should have told you the truth years ago and now she needs to accept that you need time to process this and not try and guilt you. Your sister was and still is selfish.

l3ex_G −  Why would Emma, the new born, suffer now that her parents couldn’t go to a wedding?

NezuAkiko −  NTA. You have no obligation to babysit for anyone, especially when you are hurt and need space.

emre086 −  Damn, that’s a lot to unpack. To be honest, I don’t think you overreacted. Betrayal like that, especially from someone as close as a twin, can hit hard, I’m telling you. And it’s not just about the lie, it’s about breaking that deep trust you thought was unshakable.

I get why you needed time to process before babysitting, and honestly, that’s totally fine, if you ask me. Family can come first, but it doesn’t mean you have to ignore your feelings. Maybe some time apart will give both of you space to cool down and talk things out.

controversialmind737 −  NTA your sister betrayed you, might be a while ago, but for, this just happened now. Emma isn’t suffering at all with her parents going to a wedding. Your sister is an AH.

Nothing in your post alludes to her taking proper accountability or understanding why this is a betrayal or how she hurt you . You don’t get to hurt people and then decide how they should react.

No-Pop7740 −  This has all the flags of an AI post.

Dachshundmom5 −  Family didn’t come first when your sister used you for her own gain. Family didn’t come first when she hid that she’s lying b**ch for years. Family didn’t come first when confronted she didn’t even bother to apologize.

Your Dad has a favorite, it’s not you. Emma isn’t suffering. She’s being used to manipulate you. Because her mother’s a raging b**ch who wants to use you for all she can and ypu to be a good doormat. Your Dad and his favorite are AHs. You aren’t.

QueenHelloKitty −  You should have left out the part about being wait listed, it doesn’t work with the rest of the story. You’re so close and applied to the same school, you would have received your admissions at the same time.

You would have been rejected and she was waiting listed. Are you saying she lied to you, right then, in that moment, just hoping that later she would get accepted? A better way to work this same issue in would be to say you discovered she used your story as her main essay.

Rack the pain up a notch by saying you had written the essay she used but she either told you it wasn’t good or to personal and would get you rejected, but then used it herself.

Was the Redditor right to prioritize their need to process such a personal betrayal, or did their actions unfairly impact their niece? How would you navigate a situation where trust in a loved one is shattered? Share your thoughts and advice below!