AITAH for refusing to babysit my niece after my brother called me a bad mom?
A Reddit user, a single mom to a 5-year-old daughter, recently declined to babysit her 3-year-old niece after her brother called her parenting into question. Following a hurtful remark about her being a “bad mom,” she felt it wasn’t her responsibility to help him when he asked for a favor. Now, family drama is brewing, and she’s wondering if her decision was justified or too harsh.
‘ AITAH for refusing to babysit my niece after my brother called me a bad mom?’
I (31F) have a 5-year-old daughter, and I’m a single mom. My brother (33M) and his wife have a 3-year-old daughter. We’ve always had an okay relationship, but things got weird recently. A couple of weeks ago, my brother made a snide comment at a family dinner about how I let my daughter watch too much TV and eat “junk food.” He said it was “sad” that I wasn’t trying harder to be a good mom. I let it slide at the time, but I was hurt.
Fast forward to this week, my brother calls me asking if I can babysit his daughter for a few days because he and his wife have an emergency trip they need to take. I said no. I didn’t give an excuse—I just said I wasn’t available. He flipped out, saying I was being selfish and holding a grudge, and that I’m punishing an innocent child.
Our parents are now involved, and they think I should’ve helped out, but I feel like if I’m such a “bad mom,” then maybe I’m not the right person to watch his kid.. AITAH?
These are the responses from Reddit users:
bossybott − NTA. Your brother doesn’t deserve free labor from you, especially when it comes to childcare considering his feelings on your parenting. You didn’t even tell him why you wouldn’t/couldn’t babysit but he jumped to the conclusion that you were holding a grudge.
That lets you know that knew full well what he said was wrong/hurtful and he wanted a reaction out of you at the time. Your brother is clearly TA for belittling you as a parent and then turning around expecting you to drop everything to be available to care for his child. His entitlement is insane. And tell your parents, they could always step up and babysit since they have such a problem with you saying no.
Adorable-Growth-6551 − Invite Mom and Dad to watch the child.
No_Use_9124 − NTA Tell your parents to watch their grandchild. Tell your brother since you’re such a “bad mom,” he shouldn’t ask you anymore for your free services. Also, tell him the next time he makes some s**tty remark like that, he can watch your already shaky relationship go no contact.
MarthaT001 − NTA If you’re a bad mom, then you’re also a bad babysitter. Tell your mom that.
ilnaturista − NTA. It’s understandable that you’d be reluctant to help someone who has recently criticized your parenting skills in a hurtful way. While helping family in times of need is important, it’s also crucial that there is mutual respect.
If your brother needs your help, it would be reasonable for him to apologize and address the hurtful comments he made before expecting you to babysit. It’s not fair for him to dismiss your feelings and then demand a favor as if nothing happened. You have every right to set boundaries, especially if someone has undermined your confidence or insulted your parenting.
The_Bad_Agent − NTA. Besides, you’re a bad parent in his eyes. That means he’s a bad parent for trying to leave his kid with you. His kid, his problem. Not your problem at all.
74Magick − Since your parents feel so strongly about it the solution is simple – they can watch the kids. Problem solved.. NTA.
Mother_Search3350 − Mom and Dad can watch their grandkid. NTAH.
Ratchet_gurl24 − So, you (justifiably) said ‘no’ to babysitting for your brother. He immediately accuses you of holding a grudge. So he knows his comments were wrong and uncalled for. Otherwise he wouldn’t have jumped to that conclusion. Well, let’s hope he learns the valuable lesson of not p*sing off the person he wants favours from.
AssistSignificant153 − Your brother pulled a d**k move then wants a favor??? Let your parents watch his b**t, you did the right thing!
Was it petty to refuse to babysit, or does this user have every right to set boundaries after being criticized? How would you have handled the situation? Share your perspective below!