AITAH for Refusing to Attend My Friend’s Ridiculously Over-the-Top Gender Reveal Party?
A Redditor shares their dilemma regarding a friend’s extravagant gender reveal party that includes fireworks, a DJ, catered food, and themed outfits for guests.
Initially excited for their friend Chelsey, the Redditor became overwhelmed by the event’s over-the-top nature and the expectation to contribute financially and bring gifts. After expressing their desire to skip the event and attend a more low-key baby shower instead, Chelsey accused them of being unsupportive.
Now, with mutual friends urging the Redditor to reconsider, they are left questioning whether they are being too harsh or justified in their feelings. Read the original story below to see how this situation has unfolded.
‘ AITAH for Refusing to Attend My Friend’s Ridiculously Over-the-Top Gender Reveal Party?’
So, my friend “Chelsey” is having a baby, and she invited me to her gender reveal party. At first, I was happy for her, but when I saw the invite, I was honestly shocked.
This isn’t just a cute get-together with cake and balloons—she’s going all out with fireworks, a DJ, catered food, and even a drone to film the whole thing. She’s hyping it up as the “most epic reveal ever.”
Look, I love my friend, and I’m excited for her, but this just feels way too much. It’s like a wedding! And here’s where it gets worse: she’s expecting all the guests to show up in themed outfits, contribute money to a “gender reveal fund” to help cover costs, and also bring gifts—not just for the baby shower, but for this event too.
I get celebrating big life moments, but this feels excessive and kind of wasteful, to be honest. I’m not against gender reveals, but this level of extravagance doesn’t sit right with me. I tried to tell Chelsey that I wasn’t planning on going, and that I’d rather come to her baby shower and celebrate in a more chill way.
She flipped out, calling me unsupportive and saying I’m making her big moment about me. Now a few of our mutual friends are texting me, saying I should just s**k it up and go, even if I think it’s over-the-top, because it’s important to her. I’m standing my ground, but I’m starting to feel guilty. Maybe I am being too harsh?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
your-yogurt − NTA. at first i was like, “it sounds like a fun gig! yeah gender reveals are silly, but this sounds awesome regardless.”
and *then* i read they expected you to help pay for the party. yeah no
MizzyvonMuffling − It’s a grift. That’s all. Don’t engage.
Cursd818 − NTA – She expects you to help her pay for this. That is the ONLY reason she is pushing for you to attend. Tell everyone that you will not fund it, whether you attend or not, and that you hope they all have fun and will see them at the baby shower.
If they continue to push, tell them that you have much better uses for your money than wasting it on such a pointless cash grab / photo op.
Swimminginthestorm − NTA If your friend wants an over-the-top gender reveal, they can pay for it. Edit: I may be biased because I find gender reveal parties to all be useless. They’re just another “look at me” excuse.
Beginning-Lemon-4607 − “While you’re here at the party, we would like to talk to you about a time share opportunity that has come available… we’ll just watch this 40 min video before we let you know the baby’s gender… the reveal is at the end !”
DrunkPyrite − Gender reveals are stupid. I know I’ve chosen my friends correctly as none of them who have had kids have thrown one.
Datura_Rose − NTA for declining – I personally dislike people throwing really huge parties then asking guests to cover the cost. If you can’t afford it, don’t do it.
Outfits, gifts, and funds to cover the expense is really a bit much to ask of people for a gender reveal, and then to expect more gifts at the baby shower is ridiculous. I wouldn’t attend something like what you’re describing either.
However, I think where you went wrong is implying that you disapproved of the event, because it was already happening, she’s clearly excited about it, so of course now she will see you as the a**hole. Really what was the point of letting her know you disapprove?
Did you really think she’d take it well and not feel criticized? I would have just sent a polite decline with no explanation, congratulated her, and said you can’t wait to celebrate with her at a future event.
MyHairs0nFire2023 − She flipped out, calling me unsupportive and saying I’m making her big moment about me. You’re electing not to go – that is as farthest thing you could do from making the event about you. NTA. She is.
hummus_sapiens − the “most epic reveal ever.”. Why, oh why?* In the end, it’s still either a girl or a boy. To my great disappointment, it’s never a puppy. Or a kitten. Or an alien.. *Instagram, I suppose.
Tishers − Gender reveal parties are just stupid.
Do you think the user’s decision to skip the elaborate gender reveal party was reasonable, or should they have made an effort to attend for their friend’s sake? How do you navigate similar situations with friends who have different expectations for celebrations? Share your thoughts and opinions below!
