AITAH for pretending to not receive an offensive gift?

A Redditor recounts how they handled an offensive, politically charged “gift” from their sister-in-law. Rather than confront her about how inappropriate it was, they decided to feign ignorance and pretend it never arrived. This led to the sister-in-law persistently checking in about the gift and even involving their mother-in-law.

When finally confronted directly, the Redditor maintained the charade and subtly expressed disappointment. Was this an appropriate way to handle the situation, or should they have addressed the issue more openly? Read the full story below.

‘ AITAH for pretending to not receive an offensive gift?’

My SIL sent me a politically charged “gift”. I am not one to discuss my politics. I have my own beliefs and principles but do not feel I need anyone else’s opinions to make up my mind regarding politics. My husband has polar opposite political opinions from his sister and mother.

I never join in on my SIL or MIL’s political discussions. I tend to excuse myself or totally ignore the conversation without commenting. Just before the election, my SIL sent me a politically charged “gift” that I found offensive. Initially I intended to confront her with how offensive I found the “gift”.

After my initial reaction, I had a change of heart and decided the best course of action was to pretend I never received it. She proceeded to contact my husband to see “if I got the gift!” He told her “no.” She wouldn’t tell him what it was, but continued to contact him regarding the gift, as well as having their mother contact both of us about the gift.

We told them both no. Finally she contacted me and asked about it. I told her I hadn’t seen it, but what was it. Once she told me what it was, I said “well I hate you wasted your money.” She has no idea what I really meant. AITAH

Check out how the community responded:

lovinglifeatmyage −  Very well played. Someone sent my husband a slightly pornograpic ‘gift’ through the post last year. There was no name on it. Instead of asking around who sent it etc, we just stayed quiet. It took 2 months for the sender to ‘break’ and ask him if he’d got it.

We played dumb and said we didn’t know what he was talking about. Ruined the prank for him, but we got a chuckle out of it. The friend thought we’d gasp, collectively grab our pearls and be offended. No idea why, we’re both in our 60’s and as broad minded as anyone
Ignoring s**t like that is the perfect response. NTAH

Bibliophile_w_coffee −  Well played! I don’t care if this makes you the AH or not, this was beautifully handled as she was sowing discord in your home.

brokencappy −  NTA. You did not take the drama-bait from the drama-troll. Keep living your best life.

BlueGreen_1956 −  NTA. Hee Hee Excellent! She sent it solely to get a reaction and it has to have eaten her pathetic ass up that it didn’t.

Mentos_Freshmaker_ −  NTA. We all know what side of the aisle she’s on. Nobody is sending their family members Kamala Harris merch to make a point

Silvaria928 −  You handled it a WHOLE lot better than I would have! Back in 2004, I was still married and my FIL absolutely GLOATED about Bush winning, sending multiple emails for days with cartoons about liberals crying, whining, etc.

In 2008, when Obama won, I turned around and did the same thing and he was FURIOUS. I asked, “Why was it alright for you to send these things when your guy won but it’s wrong for me to do it when my guy wins?” He never answered and never tried to talk to me about politics again.. Sore losers and sore winners.

Putrid_Appearance509 −  Make her holiday gift a donation to an organization who really needs it; Planned Parenthood, the Trevor Project, etc. Wrap up a certificate, make her open it at Christmas.

RockerStubbs −  She wanted a reaction, you denied her that. BRAVO!!! 👏🏼

LostinLies1 −  Ignoring AH’s drives them absolutely over the edge.. Nice work.

Imaginary_Chair_6958 −  When you burn the MAGA merch, don’t breathe in the toxic fumes. That s**t is cheaply made in China. No tariffs.

Do you think pretending not to receive the gift was a tactful way to avoid unnecessary conflict, or should the Redditor have been more direct about their feelings? How would you handle receiving an offensive gift? Share your thoughts below!