AITAH for pointing out my GF’s bad hygiene?

A man is conflicted after addressing his girlfriend’s poor hygiene, particularly following a situation where she left an unwrapped, used pad on his bathroom floor. He approached her, explaining that while periods are natural, leaving a used pad exposed in someone else’s home is inconsiderate.

However, she took offense, feeling judged and gross. Now, he’s questioning if he crossed a line by calling her out. Read the original story below…

‘ AITAH for pointing out my GF’s bad hygiene?’

I (m28) have been with my gf (f27) for seven months now and went full exclusive three months ago. She’s everything, smart, kind, caring and drop dead gorgeous to me. However, she has worse hygiene than a neanderthal. She lives a studio apts so it small.

Since started dating her I’ve avoided spend time there because it’s always dirty. But I never said anything because it’s her place. She does not shower often and has strong BO. Like bad enough that I won’t have s** with her unless she’s recently showered.. Here’s where it gets bad.

She’s on her period and three days ago she was having a really rough day, so called her and asked her to come stay at my place until she feels better that I can’t cook and take care of her and allow her to rest. She was take the week off from work because it’s was so bad.

She came to my place and didn’t bring any feminine hygiene products. I have to run to the store at 3 am to get her stuff because she’d been wearing the same pad for so long that it leaked on my bed. I didn’t say anything as she’s stressed.

The next day I came home from work, and she the pad from the previous night on the bathroom floor without even wrapped it. I was pissed and called her out and said hey that’s gross I don’t wanna look at that while I go use the bathroom. She got really mad and said I called her gross.

I clarified that having a period is not gross and is a natural thing but leaving a bloody pad on the floor of someones home is n**ty. She lost it and said made her feel gross and bad. Was I an a**hole here for calling her out?. ***UPDATE Almost a Month Later***

As many of you had pointed out. There was a lot more to the issue than simply her being a slob. She is now getting professional help for her mental health issues and trauma from early childhood. She’s been through enough to break any person.

I’m grateful for those who suggest that her mental health be checked and also grateful I didn’t run from her like many were suggesting. A lot has improved. Hygiene wise, she’s doing amazing. She of course need some reminder and encouragement but she gets things done.

And relationship wise, we’re both happier.. ***New Update****. We broke up.. Its over. She had a major meltdown a day ago and accused me of forcing her to get help for things that she doesn’t want help for and accused me of controlling her.

She gave me an ultimatum and I don’t do ultimatums instead of calmly explaining her point. So I told her goodbye and good luck and she left and told me to go f myself.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

RavenclawEC −  NTA at all… as you are saying, periods are not gross but, how you handle the products you need to wear during those days should definetely be with consideration and respect for yourself and, those around you…

You were right in calling her out, she is old enough to understand what she did was disgusting… I as a woman cannot understand how could she be wearing a pad that was already leaking not having spares and then spend a whole day with just one, not changing for over 12 hours…

that is just sooo not ok and makes me think she has some kind of mental issues, not judging, just thinking it is something you may need to consider…

d4dana −  As a woman, that’s not only gross but unacceptable. You are not going to change her behavior. She’s past caring. If she allows you to see this before you’re married, it will continue and nothing will change. NTA

FloMoJoeBlow −  Ewwwwww. She would not be my GF.

Toska_Kimora7553 −  NTA!! unhygienic habits should be called out no matter the situation and she should have that much decency when she’s at your house, you’re definitely not the one at fault here OP.

Colombian_HarleyGuy −  shes f**king disgusting. gross. bad habits. so gross

planetarypartyy −  NTA. this is so gross, but also please keep in mind she could be struggling with something mentally, emotionally, or physically. (she might not even realize it) when i have a depressive episode, i really need to actively make myself do basic hygiene. talk to her gently about it.

WebInformal9558 −  I think people sometimes make too big a deal of periods, but leaving any sort of bloody product on the floor is kind of gross. You might have phrased it slightly differently, but the bigger violation by a wide margin is leaving the product on the floor.. edit: NTA.

AccomplishedShake458 −  shes probably depressed or otherwise mentally ill. HOWEVER be careful not to enable her- call out behaviors that cross the line for you. She can be messy in her own space but dont enable it in your apartment. Also don’t let her weaponize her mental illness, ex. “Im so stressed I cant clean up my pad etc”

[Reddit User] −  I first heard of someone leaving a used pad on the bathroom floor about 7 years ago and was completely disgusted. I say that as a woman who has spent over 30 years menstruating. There is no shame in having a period, like there’s no shame in pooping.

Leaving it on the floor, however, is beyond disgusting. And the BO thing…..it’s hard for me to understand that, too – especially if you don’t want to have s** due to the stench. Everyone sweats. Everyone has BO. You take a f**king shower. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Was he in the wrong for addressing the issue?