AITAH for pointing out my cousin’s hypocrisy during thanksgiving?
A Redditor recounts how a heated Thanksgiving dinner conversation with her cousin Sarah spiraled out of control. After Sarah, a vocal pro-life advocate, criticized women seeking abortions, the Redditor called her out for having had an abortion herself years ago.
The argument led to accusations of hypocrisy and ended with the Redditor being asked to leave. Was it wrong to confront Sarah in front of everyone, or was it justified? Read the full story below.
‘ AITAH for pointing out my cousin’s hypocrisy during thanksgiving?’
I (28F) spent Thanksgiving at my cousin Sarah’s (30F) house this year. Sarah and I grew up like sisters we’ve always been close. But in the last few years, our relationship has been strained by politics, and Trump’s win has only made it worse. I voted against him because of his stance on women’s rights, healthcare, and a**rtion access.
Sarah, however, voted for him, saying she “wants to protect innocent life.” At dinner, the conversation inevitably veered toward politics. I tried to stay quiet, but Sarah, emboldened by the wine, launched into how Trump’s pro-life policies are long overdue.
She argued that women should just “take responsibility for their actions” and not treat a**rtion as a “get-out-of-jail-free card.” She went on about how it’s “immoral” to terminate a pregnancy and that “everyone should have to live with the consequences of their choices.”
Her comments hit me like a slap to the face. A decade ago, Sarah had confided in me when she had an a**rtion during college. She’d gotten pregnant after a brief relationship and told me she wasn’t ready to be a mom. She said she wanted to finish her degree and build a stable life before even thinking about children.
At the time, I was her rock, helping her through the whole ordeal emotionally and even driving her to the clinic. I sat there, fuming, until I couldn’t hold it in anymore. “So, you think women shouldn’t have access to the same choice you had?” I asked, trying to keep my voice calm.
The room went silent, and Sarah froze. She stammered for a moment before saying her situation was “completely different” because she had her reasons, unlike “people abusing the system.” That’s when I lost it. “Do you even hear yourself?
You’re sitting here judging other women, saying they shouldn’t have options, when you had an a**rtion for the exact same reason you’re condemning. You were lucky to have the choice. Why would you want to take it away from others?”
Sarah’s face turned red, and she snapped back that I was “bringing up something personal to humiliate her” in front of everyone. I told her that wasn’t my intention, but she was being hypocritical.
If she genuinely believed in protecting unborn life, she wouldn’t have made the choice she did and if she understood the complexities of that decision for herself, why couldn’t she extend that empathy to others? The argument escalated. She accused me of not respecting her beliefs and trying to “shame” her.
I countered that she was shaming other women by supporting policies that limit their reproductive rights. The tension in the room was unbearable, and before dessert was even served, Sarah asked me to leave.
Now, Sarah’s side of the family is furious, saying I “ruined Thanksgiving” and should have let it go for the sake of keeping the peace. My parents are also upset with me, saying I should have picked a better time to discuss it.
But I can’t shake the feeling that Sarah’s hypocrisy needed to be addressed. She benefited from reproductive rights and now wants to deny them to others it just doesn’t sit right with me. So, am I the a**hole for calling out my cousin’s hypocrisy about a**rtion at Thanksgiving?
Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:
AnxiousTelephone2997 − NTA. And good on you for calling her on her s**t. She should feel ashamed. Not for the a**rtion, but because she believes herself to be so noble and mighty that she can have whatever rights she wants but no one else can. These people need to be taken down a peg. They’re so bold until people see who they truly are.
No_Use_9124 − NTA you called her out for her b**lshit. Honestly, don’t hang out with her anymore. She sounds awful.
Donth101 − NTA. Anybody got a link to the “the only moral a**rtion is my a**rtion” essay?
MyFriendsCallMeEpic − ah yes, the rules for thee but not for me.. NTA
GhostPantherAssualt − NTA. Sarah sounds like the typical republican who can’t even bothered to think about anyone but herself. She just showed all of us that she can careless by her fellow woman or any citizen of the US because she rather pretend to be anti-a**rtion instead of being honest.
You did the right to thing to call out Sarah, you should call out all Sarahs. You should call out hypocrties. Regardless of the reason, Sarah took a life, ergo according to her religion she should be punished in the worse way possible.
But that’s not going to happen because she’s not really a believer in her beliefs. And your parents are cowards. You didn’t start this argument. SARAH DID. SARAH THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO GET HITCH WITH F**KING MARKET’S WINE AND THEN BLABBED ABOUT POLITICS IN A NEUTRAL ZONES.
Keep this up OP. Be that force of good, because people like Sarah aren’t going to donate to their churches in reality for the needy. They’re going to harp about control until they finally get what they want which is Christo-Fascism instead of being a decent human being.
chaingun_samurai − “The only moral a**rtion is mine.”. That’s par for the course
SleepyKoalaBear4812 − You did nothing wrong. I am so sick of a**hole behavior being ignore to “ keep the peace”. That was my whole life. Bite your tongue, say nothing, keep the peace, don’t rock the boat. Good for you! Speaking up was the right thing to do. NTAH
4getmenotsnot − She ate crow for Thanksgiving. Good for you.. NTA
Deisphoria − This is the second post I’ve just read on here with almost exactly the same setup. Family member who OP has grown up close with, but become estranged from due to family member’s vocal support of right wing politics, family member makes hypocritical statements, gets called out, thanksgiving ruined.
fishebake − NTA. “The only moral a**rtion is my a**rtion.” What a h**ocrite. She sounds annoying to deal with.
Was the Redditor justified in addressing her cousin’s hypocrisy, or should they have waited for a more private moment? How do you balance standing up for your beliefs while maintaining family harmony? Share your thoughts in the comments below!