AITAH for not wanting to give up my dream job just because my boyfriend can’t handle it?
When your lifelong dreams and career aspirations come knocking, sometimes you have to stand firm—even if it means facing relationship challenges. In this story, a 24-year-old woman recounts her struggle after receiving her dream job offer that requires extensive travel.
While this opportunity is everything she’s worked for, her boyfriend—who’s been with her for three years—insists that her being away for weeks at a time will ruin their relationship. Despite his protests and his claim that she should “care more about our future,” she remains determined to seize this once-in-a-lifetime chance. Torn between guilt and ambition, she now wonders if she’s the asshole for choosing her dream job over her boyfriend’s comfort.
‘AITAH for not wanting to give up my dream job just because my boyfriend can’t handle it?’
Dr. Laura Markham, a clinical psychologist specializing in career and relationship balance, explains, “When someone is offered a career opportunity that aligns with their core values and long-term goals, it is both healthy and necessary for them to pursue it, even if it creates temporary friction in their personal relationships. The key is open communication and setting clear expectations about how the relationship will adapt during periods of intense work.”
Similarly, relationship expert Dr. John Gottman notes, “It is important for couples to understand that individual fulfillment contributes to the overall health of a relationship. If one partner is chasing a dream that will ultimately enrich both their lives, that pursuit should be supported—even if it requires short-term adjustments in the relationship dynamic.”
Both experts emphasize that while it’s natural for a partner to feel insecure when facing change, true support means recognizing that personal growth can benefit the relationship in the long run. Your decision to take your dream job is a valid exercise in self-care and professional ambition.
Here’s what the community had to contribute:
Several redditors expressed strong support for your decision, with one user commenting, “You’ve worked for this opportunity your whole life—it’s not selfish to pursue your dreams. Your boyfriend should appreciate your ambition instead of holding you back.”
Another group shared similar experiences, noting, “I once had to choose between a promising career opportunity and a relationship, and I chose my job. It wasn’t easy, but I’ve never regretted investing in myself. Follow your heart—your success will only make you more fulfilled.”
Ultimately, choosing your dream job over a relationship that isn’t fully supportive of your ambitions is not an act of selfishness—it’s a declaration of self-worth. You deserve to build a life that aligns with your passions and goals, and those who love you should ultimately support your pursuit of happiness.
This situation forces us to ask: How do we balance personal fulfillment with relationship compromise? Is it possible for both partners to grow together even when one is pursuing a high-demand career?
What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Have you ever had to choose between personal dreams and relationship stability? Share your thoughts and experiences below—your insights might help others navigate the challenging intersection of love and ambition.