AITAH FOR NOT WANTING MY HUSBAND’S CHILD TO BE A PART OF OUR LIFE?
A Reddit user grapples with a complex emotional situation after learning that her husband, who had an affair years ago, may have a child from that one-night stand. Despite her husband’s efforts to rebuild their marriage, the prospect of introducing this child into their lives is overwhelming.
As she navigates feelings of betrayal and fear of resentment, she questions whether she’s being unreasonable for wanting to keep this child out of their lives. Read the original story below to delve into her emotional turmoil.
‘ AITAH FOR NOT WANTING MY HUSBAND’S CHILD TO BE A PART OF OUR LIFE?’
Here’s how people reacted to the post:
Do you think the user is justified in not wanting her husband’s potential child to be a part of their lives, or should she consider the child’s well-being and the potential for her husband to be a father? How would you approach such a difficult situation in your own life? Share your thoughts below!
Yea why if the child is your husband’s would you not want to ensure the child knows it’s loved by siblings to resent a child who had no control over their birth is seriously selfish a child is a gift cherish them
My ex had an affair. There was a child. He always swore it wasn’t his. We divorced. The other woman was a little unhinged and he had no further contact with her. As my children got older I told them about the child. I told them as gently as possible and without any malice. They know who he is and where he is, but have had no contact. Their Dad would be totally upset if he knew they were aware of this. They have decide not to pursue a relationship with the child until after their Dad is gone and will get DNA. Establish paternity first. Then decide how your husband feels about it. If the child is his, your children should know, whether it is a part of their lives or not.
This has so many layers to it and unfortunately there’s a lot of people’s feelings and lives to consider, other than your own. A child is innocent in the equation, both your children together and the alleged child that your husband fathered; how you both handle this dilemma will shape and mold their views and values into adulthood. No one says that you should deal with the situation to your own detriment, so you have a choice, do the work to accept the altered reality of your marriage or leave. But, to resent an innocent child yet forgive, love and accept the person that betrayed your vows (separated is still married), is what so many women do. None of it is easy, I know firsthand. You have a choice, but your husband should not and you pushing him to consider the easy way out will not end well for either of you. He has a responsibility to pour into that little human being all of what it needs to be whole, in spite of the circumstances; that’s (potentially) his flesh and blood just as your children are. What you put out in the universe will most definitely come back to you, no matter the reasoning or justification.
Before you even consider what he should or shouldn’t do, you have to first be honest with yourself about how you feel and your capacity. You can love a person from a distance if being with them tears you apart, so you loving him isn’t the issue with whether you decide to stay or leave. Deep down you know the right decision; that child having the same love and level of parental involvement as your children have from their father, you just have to decide where you’ll be standing when it gets to that point.