AITAH for not putting my dog up when my sister brought her friend to my house?

Family visits can sometimes lead to unexpected conflicts—especially when fears and personal boundaries collide. In this update, a 25-year-old dog owner recounts how her sister’s friend, who has a phobia of big dogs, triggered a heated exchange when visiting her home.

Despite her dog, Baja, being well-behaved and securely enjoying his own space, the friend’s overblown reaction led to criticism from her family. Is it wrong to stick to your own rules for caring for your pet when someone else’s fears get in the way?

‘AITAH for not putting my dog up when my sister brought her friend to my house?’

When personal space and guest comfort collide, finding a balance is key. Family psychologist Dr. Laura Markham explains, “A host has every right to maintain the routines and boundaries that ensure the well-being of their pet and home environment. At the same time, guests with specific phobias must understand that adapting to a new environment is part of the visiting experience.”

In this case, the narrator has thoughtfully designed her condo balcony as a secure, dog-friendly space for Baja—a large, well-behaved English mastiff/Cane Corso mix who’s accustomed to this routine. Her decision to allow Baja to stay in his usual area, with the option to lock the smart dog door for added safety, was a deliberate choice to honor her pet’s comfort and independence.

Dr. Markham further notes that while it is important to be sensitive to a guest’s fears, it is equally important for the guest to take responsibility for managing their anxiety. “If someone has a phobia of big dogs, it is not reasonable to expect the host to rearrange their entire household for a few hours.

A compromise, such as suggesting alternative arrangements or even declining the invitation, can be more respectful for all parties involved,” she adds. In this situation, the narrator’s actions were consistent with her established care for Baja, and her offer to secure him outside was a practical solution.

Although some family members believe she could have confined the dog further, experts argue that a host should not be forced to compromise on their home’s routine just to accommodate someone who might consider a visit optional. This case highlights the importance of setting clear boundaries while encouraging guests to take responsibility for their own comfort.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Many redditors empathize with the narrator, asserting that her dog’s safety and comfort should remain a priority and that guests must adapt to her home’s rules. Others believe a small compromise, such as temporarily confining the dog indoors, might have eased tensions, even if it wasn’t strictly necessary. The discussion highlights the balance between respecting personal space and accommodating a guest’s phobia.

In conclusion, this update raises the question: Should you adjust your living arrangements for someone with a phobia, or is it acceptable to maintain your routine as long as your pet is secure? The narrator defended her decision by emphasizing that Baja was safe in his outdoor space and that her home’s environment is non-negotiable.

What do you think—should hosts compromise on their setup for a guest’s comfort, or is it fair to expect visitors to adapt? Share your thoughts, experiences, and advice below to help us navigate the complexities of household boundaries and personal fears.