AITAH for not paying to take my son’s girlfriend on vacation. ?
A Redditor shares a dilemma about whether they were wrong for refusing to pay for their son’s girlfriend to join a family vacation, especially given her entitled behavior and the tension she’s caused in the family. The situation has escalated, leaving relationships strained and questions about fairness and boundaries. Read the full story below.
‘ AITAH for not paying to take my son’s girlfriend on vacation. ?’
I have two sons (22 & 23). They both have serious girlfriends that they have been dating for over two years. Jordan’s girlfriend is an amazing young lady. She has a great head on shoulders, is sweet, smart, polite, good to my parents, responsible, and balances my son perfectly. They make a great team.
Tyler’s girlfriend is selfish, entitled, m**ipulative, and dislikes our family. She scares me (and the rest of the family and friends) with her behaviors. Both of my sons are in love and plan to marry these young ladies.
I was divorced when both boys were in diapers so it has been the three of us for years. We are very close. We have always traveled together. Jordan’s girlfriend has been on two trips with us that I paid for. Vegas for Jordan’s 21st and charity boat poker run on Lake Michigan. Both of these involved bars.
Tyler’s girlfriend is 20 so she was not invited. She became angry that she was not invited. We (new husband of two years) own a vacation home on a lake. My husband planned a guys trip for week. Tyler’s girlfriend got irate because she wanted to use the house that week (was the week before going back to college).
Tyler has now informed me that his girlfriend will be invited on ALL trips and I will be expected to pay for her or he will not come. My husband has said she is not welcome at the vacation house (until she stops acting so entitled).
We were planning a family vacation to the Bahamas for Christmas. Per Jordan’s request I canceled the family trip, upgraded my husband and I into first class and a suite. Jordan thought the trip would be miserable with Tyler’s girlfriend. He wanted me to enjoy the trip. Tyler and his girlfriend are furious. AITAH for not paying to take my future DIL on vacation?
These are the responses from Reddit users:
honeypearlprincess − NTA. This isn’t about playing favorites, it’s about respecting boundaries and behavior. You’re not obligated to pay for anyone’s vacation. Jordan’s girlfriend has shown kindness, responsibility, and appreciation, so including her on trips feels natural.
Tyler’s girlfriend, on the other hand, has been m**ipulative and demanding, it’s not unreasonable to say no to someone who behaves that way. Honestly, if someone demands to be included or throws a fit when they’re not, that’s on *them*.
Tyler’s ultimatum says more about him than you, he’s free to skip trips, but you’re free to set the terms for your own vacations. He can make his own decisions, but he doesn’t get to dictate yours, and you shouldn’t be guilted into funding someone who honestly, doesn’t even respect you.
enchantedforestglow − NTA. She’s not even family yet, and she’s already acting like this? LOL. You’re not obligated to fund her vacations, especially when she’s being so disrespectful to you and your husband. Tyler needs to wake up and realize this is not normal or acceptable behavior from a partner. You did the right thing by setting boundaries. Enjoy that first-class suite!
Basic_Ad3408 − Nah, you’re not the a**hole. Tyler’s girlfriend sounds mad entitled, and you don’t need that energy on a family trip. It’s your money and your vacation, you don’t owe her anything. If Tyler can’t handle that, then that’s on him. You’re just looking out for your family.
Icyman1 − Tyler has a rough life ahead of him. After they get a divorce, she will alienate the kids from him. You will be lucky to see your grandkids once a month.. Guess how I know this… 😩
Performance_Lanky − NTA If I had a child that said I have to start paying for their girlfriend or they won’t attend, they wouldn’t be coming unless they paid for themselves.
Sunshinehappyfeet − NTA. Your money. Your choice.
Big_lt − NTA
– his GF was just expecting to use your vacation home (w/o asking)? Wtf is that
– I’d like to understand why she is a terrible person (outside of entitled). Like what has she done to acquire this title
– Tyler made a bet and you called his bluff and now he’s all upset. However no person can expect the finances of others for themselves
Sea-Leadership-8053 − Need to make sure the vacation home and regular home is locked up tight and there’s security cameras because she’s gonna trash at least one to get back at op
SaucyGooner79 − If she feels entitled to your money and use of your properties when she’s not even family, what else will she feel entitled to and demand when she is?. NTA.
MizzyvonMuffling − Tyler has now informed me that his girlfriend will be invited on ALL trips and I will be expected to pay for her or he will not come
Tyler needs to wake the f**k up and smell the biatch he’s dating and he needs to check his arrogance and stop with the demands.. NTA – of course!!
Was the Redditor justified in setting boundaries and prioritizing their happiness on the vacation, or should they have made accommodations to include both sons and their partners equally? How would you handle this situation? Share your thoughts below!