AITAH for not making my son forgive my brother after he was uninvited from his wedding?

When love fades and priorities shift, the pain of a broken partnership can cut deeper than expected. Our OP, a 29‑year‑old man, reflects on a long‑standing marriage that crumbled over one fundamental truth: his ex chose motherhood over nurturing their relationship. They met when they were both 21 and welcomed children together, but over time, his ex’s identity became entirely defined by her role as a mom.

As their children grew up and began forging their own lives, he found himself increasingly isolated, left with a bitter reality—her constant prioritization of the kids left little room for the love they once shared. Now, with the children grown and drifting away, the OP’s pent‑up pain has reached a boiling point. In a moment of raw honesty, he declared,

“You chose our kids over our relationship, and it’s not my problem that you’re lonely now that they’re grown up.” While this statement may seem harsh to some, he argues that his ex’s choices were deliberate. This article explores whether his blunt ultimatum was justified or if he crossed a line by forcing her to face the consequences of her decisions.

‘AITAH for not making my son forgive my brother after he was uninvited from his wedding?’

Letting longstanding emotional neglect build to the point of an ultimatum is never an easy decision. Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist known for her expertise on relationship dynamics, explains, “When one partner sacrifices all aspects of the marital relationship for a single role, such as parenting, it creates a significant emotional imbalance that can be damaging over time.” (kidshealth.org) In this case, the OP’s ex consistently prioritized her children over nurturing the bond they once had.

While children are undeniably important, a healthy relationship requires both partners to invest emotionally and support one another. Dr. Durvasula further notes, “If one partner feels perpetually neglected and unsupported, that pain does not simply vanish over time; it festers and becomes a barrier to intimacy.” The OP’s declaration that her ex must bear the loneliness of her choices is rooted in years of feeling isolated—witnessing her bypass opportunities for closeness in favor of constant kid-centric activities,

even when those moments could have been shared as a couple. Family therapist Dr. Susan Johnson adds, “Boundaries in relationships are vital. When a partner’s identity becomes solely defined by their role as a parent, it often signals a deep-seated disconnect. Addressing these issues openly is crucial, but if one partner is unwilling to change, the other must decide whether to remain or move on.”

For the OP, his ex’s failure to provide the emotional support he needed is not just a minor grievance—it’s the culmination of years of imbalance. Though divorce is always a painful outcome, experts agree that a relationship in which one partner consistently ignores the emotional needs of the other is unsustainable in the long run. The OP’s ultimatum, harsh as it may sound, is a reflection of his deep hurt and the stark reality that mutual support is essential for any lasting partnership.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Many redditors sympathize with the OP, emphasizing that if you continually sacrifice your marital bond for the sake of children, it’s no surprise you feel abandoned when those children grow up. “If you choose your kids every single time, don’t be shocked when you’re left lonely,” one commenter stated, underscoring that self‑preservation is a natural outcome of persistent neglect.

In the end, the OP’s declaration that his ex chose their children over their relationship—and that her resulting loneliness is her own burden—reflects a deep, unresolved imbalance in their marriage. While some may view his words as harsh, many agree that after years of being sidelined, it’s only natural for him to demand that mutual support be a cornerstone of any lasting partnership.

What do you think? Should a partner bear the consequences of choosing parenthood over intimacy, or is there still hope for reconciliation through counseling and renewed effort? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below—what would you do if you found yourself in this emotionally complex situation?