AITAH for not making my brother’s soon-to-be ex-wife give up her plane ticket to his current girlfriend?

Family vacations can become a flashpoint for unresolved tensions and lingering resentments. In this case, our OP—a 30‑year‑old sister—finds herself caught in a conflict involving her 36‑year‑old brother, his soon-to-be ex-wife, and his new girlfriend. After her brother filed for divorce due to infidelity, he had already contributed toward his ex-wife’s plane ticket for an upcoming Orlando trip, even as he began dating his new girlfriend.

At a recent family dinner, the current girlfriend expressed strong discomfort about the ex-wife being allowed on the trip, and even requested that her ticket be reassigned to her instead. This update dives into the heated dynamics and difficult choices that emerge when past altercations and financial contributions collide.

‘AITAH for not making my brother’s soon-to-be ex-wife give up her plane ticket to his current girlfriend?’

Relationship and family dynamics experts highlight that issues like these often hinge on fairness and prior financial contributions. Dr. Samantha Lee, a family mediator, explains, “When someone has contributed to the cost of a shared event—such as paying part of a plane ticket—it is reasonable to expect that their investment is respected. Demanding that the ex-wife give up her ticket, simply because of interpersonal conflicts, ignores the financial agreement that was made prior to the breakup.”

Dr. Lee further notes that while emotions run high after a breakup, a rational resolution involves separating personal grievances from contractual obligations. “It’s important to distinguish between unresolved emotional baggage—such as the previous altercation with the girlfriend—and the objective fact that the ex-wife’s ticket was paid for. In such cases, enforcing fairness can help prevent further discord,” she adds.

Similarly, Dr. Michael Reyes, a clinical psychologist specializing in sibling and family relationships, points out that while the new girlfriend’s feelings are valid, they should not override existing financial commitments. “If a family trip is planned and all parties have agreed to the cost-sharing beforehand, altering that arrangement solely due to post-breakup emotions can lead to further complications and resentment,” he explains. Both experts agree that maintaining the original financial arrangement is the most equitable solution, even if it means confronting uncomfortable personal history.

See what others had to share with OP:

The Reddit community is split on this issue. Many sympathize with the OP, arguing that it’s only fair to uphold the initial agreement—especially since the ex-wife contributed money toward her ticket. They contend that the new girlfriend’s request, while understandable given past tensions, should not disrupt financial fairness.

Others, however, believe that given the history of conflict, the ex-wife’s presence on the trip might create an emotionally charged atmosphere, and that accommodating the new girlfriend’s feelings could have been a more diplomatic gesture. The discussion reflects a broader debate about balancing financial fairness with emotional sensitivity in family dynamics.

This situation raises the question: Should past interpersonal conflicts dictate the financial agreements made before a breakup? While the OP’s stance is rooted in fairness—ensuring that the ex-wife retains her paid-for ticket—others feel that accommodating the new girlfriend’s discomfort might help avoid further family tension.

What do you think? Is it reasonable to insist on upholding a financial commitment despite emotional baggage, or should family harmony take precedence over contractual fairness? Share your experiences and insights below—let’s discuss how to navigate these complex situations where money, emotion, and family history collide.