AITAH for not letting my MIL see my baby until I put cameras up in my home?

A Redditor shares a heated family dispute involving her mother-in-law (MIL), who ignored boundaries regarding the care of her 4-month-old baby. After catching her MIL adding cereal to the baby’s bottle—a practice explicitly forbidden by both parents—the OP banned her from their home until cameras are installed. The MIL’s reaction and divided family opinions have left her questioning if she overreacted. Read the full story below!

‘ AITAH for not letting my MIL see my baby until I put cameras up in my home?’

I 25F had a baby boy with my 27M husband 4 months ago. His mom, my MIL has some old school backwards thinking that I do not agree with. She spanked her kids, let them “cry it out” when they were babies, etc. she tries to impose those thoughts on me and I tell her I do not like that way of thinking and will not be doing that with my child or future children.

One thing she did was put cereal in her kids bottles. She said it to me about 3 weeks ago and I told her no because that will increase the chance of gagging or inhaling that liquid into his lungs and I told her that I will not be doing it, my husband said he will not be doing it and I told her she will not be doing it.

I caught her on Saturday feeding him his bottle with fruit loops mixed in when I came downstairs from taking a nap. I completely lost it and told her to get out of my house. She told me I can’t do that because this is her son’s house too and I told her I would Just call the police because she’s refusing to leave.

She left but stayed in her car across the street until my husband came home from work. She tried crying and acting like I was the bad person. He told her that he asked her to stop when he caught her last week. I got pissed because he didn’t tell me that. I was furious with both of them at that point.

I told her she would never be allowed to watch him or any children I have in the future again and she has completely lost my trust. She’s never allowed in our home again. My husband has tried to smooth things over and I’m not having it. I told him the only way she’d be allowed back in our home was when I put cameras up and she can not go out of my sight with again.

She blew up at me in the group chat that we have with her, myself, my mother, my father, my husband’s 2 sisters, and my sister. She called me controlling, a helicopter parent, a bad parent, etc. My family was not happy about the way she talked to me and told her she needs to back off and his side of the family was more so on her side and said I was overreacting a bit because the baby is okay.

One of his sisters did say she crossed a line and she’s done that with her kid when she popped her daughter in the mouth and that’s why she’s not allowed to be with her daughter by herself.. I don’t think I’m wrong

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

theworldisonfire8377 −  [Putting Rice Cereal in Your Baby’s Bottle: Is It Safe?](https://www.webmd.com/baby/is-it-safe-to-put-rice-cereal-in-your-babys-bottle)

[Should I Add Rice Cereal to My Baby’s Bottle?](https://www.healthline.com/health/baby/rice-cereal-in-bottle)

[Feeding From a Bottle | Nutrition | CDC](https://www.cdc.gov/nutrition/infantandtoddlernutrition/bottle-feeding/index.html)

Send these links to the group chat (all reputable medical sources), and tell everyone what she did, that she went behind your back twice endangering your child as a result of her actions, and that when MIL decides leave the 1950s behind and come into the 21st century, you might consider letting her around you child again.

Then ask them what makes them think you should be putting your child’s safety as risk to appease old-fashioned parenting techniques that have been proven wrong in the last 50-70 years??? NTA.

Lightmeup-goahead −  Never leave MIL with the kids alone ever. This becomes Olive Garden grandma aka you only visit her at Olive Garden.

Beneficial_Good2119 −  NTA, your husband needs to step up and establish the boundary though. Don’t let that woman in your house without cameras, and all visits should be supervised by you until she has earned your trust back. She needs to understand that she doesn’t get to choose how to parent your child, and needs to respect your rules if she wants to be in your child’s life.

canvasshoes2 −  Fruit loops? Good grief! When you said “cereal” I thought you meant like baby grade rice cereal, that stuff that dissolves in formula and helps supplement when you’ve got a good feeder that needs a little extra “oomph” once in a while.

I b**ast fed and was a terrible producer. I had a devil of a time at first and finally hit upon supplementing with formula and, at the first feeding of the day, would add a teeny bit of rice cereal to it. He’s now a 6’3″ 30 year old. But Fruit loops??? I’m … I have no words.. NTA. She sounds like a nightmare.

Secret_Sister_Sarah −  NTA. This woman is trying to play the victim when she’s an unashamed child abuser?! She spanked her kids, let babies cry it out instead of checking on them, and has put choking hazards in her own babies, and now your baby’s, bottle, and won’t stop even when told to stop repeatedly?

Your SIL said this woman “popped her daughter in the mouth” and lost the privilege to see her. Dear god, that is NEVER okay! She’s calling you a helicopter mom because she can’t see how crucial it is to protect babies from her.

NickelPickle2018 −  You have a husband problem, he’s putting her feelings before your child’s health. A 4 month old doesn’t need “fruit loops”. Until your husband is willing to enforce boundaries and consequences she will continue to behave this way.

Cali_Holly −  NTA. There is no smoothing anything over. Freaking Froot Loops has dyes and additives. A newborn baby does not need that. And it could have a really bad effect on a brand new belly. Fruit Loops?!! wtf! 🤦🏻‍♀️

Bis_K −  Cameras aren’t going to stop her. Keep her away from your baby. And your husband is an AH for hiding her prior act from you. He knew it was a problem and did not want to tell you. He is prioritizing her comfort over your baby’s safety and your marriage.

ZyxDarkshine −  This is exactly the type of person, that when told their grandchild has an allergic reaction to something, will introduce the child to the allergic environment in order to “prove you wrong”.. This person is dangerous

Jen0507 −  NTA. I was mad at fruit loops. I’m infuriated at popped another kid in the mouth. Ohhhhh helllllllll no. MIL would be lucky to even know my kids name if she hit my neice or nephew in the face. Unreal anyone would defend her.

Do you think the OP was justified in setting firm boundaries with her MIL, or was her response overly harsh? How would you handle someone undermining your parenting choices? Share your thoughts below!