AITAH for not inviting my sister to my wedding because she didn’t invite me to hers?
You (24F) are getting married soon and decided not to invite your sister to your wedding because she excluded you from hers seven years ago. At the time, she set an “18+ only” rule for her wedding, which meant you, at 17, couldn’t attend even though your 18th birthday was just a week later. This deeply hurt you, and you’ve held onto that resentment, telling her back then that she wouldn’t be invited to your wedding in return. Now, with your wedding set on a luxury yacht, your sister claims you’re being petty and hurtful, though you feel she just wants to attend for the luxury, not to support you. Your family is divided on the issue, with your father urging you to invite her, while your sister is airing her frustrations on Facebook.
AITAH for not inviting my sister to my wedding because she didn’t invite me to hers?
AITA for not inviting my sister to my wedding because she didn’t invite me to hers?
I’m 24f and I’m getting married in a few weeks. 7 years ago my sister got married and I was so excited. I talked to het about the wedding, what dress I’ll wear and if I could help her plan it and she was always dismissive and a few weeks before the wedding she told me that it would be 18+.
She said she wanted to exclude annoying kids and made this rule and she can’t make exceptions and all this crap. She also said I was too young for the adult atmosphere and whatever. My 18th birthday was a week after the wedding. I was devastated and I begged my sister to let me come.
I really wanted to be there and support her. My step mom refused to go to the wedding as a result of that and my dad almost divorced her over that, among other things. I eventually accepted it and I told my sister that I would not invite her to my wedding. She scoffed and laughed and said I was being inmature and I’ll forget about it. My fiance’s dad owns a massive yacht company.
They rent out yachts, make repairs and sell equipment. The wedding party will take place on a yacht which can accommodate 200 guests. She asked me about the wedding and I flat out told her she wasn’t invited.
She said I was being petty and how hurtful I was and that her reasons were justified and it’s in the past. To be honest I feel she just wants to be on the yacht and not so much support me. I told her that she should’ve thought about that back then and now she understands how I feel and that she’s only jealous that my wedding will be better than hers.
My dad called me and said I need to stop being petty and invite her and other family agree. I told them no and after some arguing they respected it. My sister is being a b*tch about it on Facebook.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
themisst1983 says:
My wedding was technically child-free. My 17 year old sister was absolutely an exception and was invited. Her age was never going to be a factor on whether she was invited.
My older sister asked if my niece could come and see me in my dress before the reception. Yes, absolutely. My cousin just had a baby and brought him along. I didn’t mind at all, I would rather have my family there. OP’s sister was just being horrible. Good on OP for getting her own back. NTA OP.
pigandpom says:
I find it really interesting that the step mother saw the ridiculousness of not having the sister of the bride there just because she was 1 week off the age limit, but the father was all for not having HIS younger daughter present at his older daughters wedding.
themcp says:
They could have made an exception. (“It’s 18+, except for you.”) Or they could have made it 17+. Or if they chose an 18+ venue, they could have told the venue “you’re making an exception for my 17 years and 50 week old sister and this goes in the contract or we’re going elsewhere.” Make no mistake, this was deliberate exclusion, not “oh, we just can’t.”
DJ4116 says:
NTA. It’s the couple getting married that decides who to invite to their wedding. She had her wedding with set rules that didn’t include you, you have your wedding and didn’t include her. Your parents are making it into such a big deal….when it’s not.
KickFriedasCoffin says:
Despite it being “in the past”, if you can see that somebody is still genuinely hurt by something, you can’t still apologize?! And not a b*llshit apology that starts with “even though it’s in the past…” or any other iterations of that fuckery.
Also no announcing how you’re “being the bigger person” by apologizing.I’m years into working up the courage to do this myself.
shandelion says:
Like, my brother will likely have a childfree wedding with the exception of his niece who will be a flower girl… Because she’s his niece. Not his buddy from college’s 3 kids that he’s never met. A sibling is obviously a reasonable exception – sister sucks.
MPLS_Poppy says:
NTA. Your birthday was a week after the wedding, there was more to the story back then. Your dad needs to grow up, there are consequences to people’s actions, your sister is facing hers. Your stepmom is a badass. Honestly, I’d have her be your MOH or have a special role for having your back. You should have your special day without her there. She isn’t your family.
Anachronistic79 says:
You got it! I’ve been to occasions like this where..(well to be honest, I’ve been to occasions like this where kids end up getting wasted) but where the “kids” 16, 17, 18 are invaluable at the wedding and they’re tasked with getting all the adults that are l*ser drunk back home or to the hotels.
The kids love it! They invited a friend, they’re all new to driving and get to drive some sweet cars and watching some of the adults make fools of themselves is hilarious to them. Her sister’s trash.
NTA for not inviting your sister. You’re justified in feeling hurt by her decision to exclude you from her wedding, especially since the “18+ only” rule seemed arbitrary given that you were just shy of 18. Your sister is now experiencing the same exclusion she once imposed on you, and you’re not obligated to extend an invitation, especially if her motives seem more about enjoying the yacht than supporting you. Family dynamics can be tough, but this is your wedding, and you have the right to invite—or not invite—whomever you choose.