AITAH for not inviting my coworker to a party because I find them exhausting to be around?

A Reddit user shared their dilemma about not inviting a coworker to a small party. The coworker noticed their absence and brought it up at work, expressing hurt feelings. The user explained that they found the coworker exhausting to be around due to their dominating conversations and inability to pick up on social cues. Was the user justified in not inviting them, or should they have invited the coworker to avoid the awkwardness? Read the full story below!

‘ AITAH for not inviting my coworker to a party because I find them exhausting to be around?’

I recently hosted a small party at my place for a few close friends and coworkers. I invited people I genuinely enjoy spending time with, and I kept it small because I wanted it to feel relaxed and fun. One coworker, though, noticed they weren’t invited and brought it up at work the following week.

The truth is, this coworker is exhausting to be around. They dominate conversations, overshare, and don’t pick up on social cues when others are trying to steer the conversation away. I just didn’t want the vibe of the party to shift because of their energy.

I didn’t say that, of course I told them it was just a small gathering with people I’d been friends with for a while. They didn’t take it well and said it was hurtful that I didn’t include them.

Now I’m wondering if I should’ve just invited them to avoid the awkwardness at work, even though it would’ve made the party less enjoyable for me. AITA for not inviting them?

These are the responses from Reddit users:

garlicparmbreadthot −  unless you invited EVERYONE from your workplace except the one person, NTA. It would be kinda rude to exclude just the one person but if they weren’t the only person from the workplace not invited then no. it’s your gathering, not a work event, so you’re under no obligation to invite them or work around their feelings.

carelesswhisper79 −  NTA another example of coworker not picking up on social cues when you said it was a small affair.

Jerseygirl2468 −  NTA it was pretty rude of them to even ask you about it, and not accept your (very valid) answer. If they want to be hurt and upset about it…oh well? You don’t enjoy their company and are not obligated to invite them into your home.

Unhappy-Prune-9914 −  NTA – This was not a work event, it was at your house. Don’t get into the habit of inviting people into your personal space when you get a bad feeling about them.

Dangerous-Chest-6048 −  This isn’t elementary school where you are required to hand out invitations to the entire class (only if the teacher hands them out hopefully) NTA. Your not close nor a work event not their business.

Individual_Ad_9213 −  NTA. That she’d (a) ask you and (b) then guilt trip you just goes to show what a bad guest she would have been. When you have a party, it’s exclusively your guest list. You owe no one an excuse, apology, or a reason for not inviting them.

When someone learns of a party that they didn’t attend, the classy thing is to just assume that the invite got lost and to tell the host(s) that they hope they had a wonderful time.

Vivienne1973 −  NTA – no one is “owed” an invitation to a private event. Your party, your guest list. I had a co-worker like that. She was often excluded from outside of office events for *exactly* the reasons you state… his coworker is exhausting to be around. They dominate conversations, overshare, and don’t pick up on social cues when others are trying to steer the conversation away.

The joke in the office was that if your grandma died of cancer, her grandma died of cancer…twice. People barely tolerated her *in* the office. They certainly didn’t want her company OUT of the office too.

We worked pretty closely for a while and she’d always gripe about being excluded. Rather than looking *inward* and trying to determine why she was consistently being excluded, she blamed everyone and everything else… Sigh. She ended up going on medical leave and then leaving the company entirely. No one was sad to see her go.

Liu1845 −  Nope, don’t give pity or guilt invites. If they ask why they were not invited, ” I only invited close friends.”. NTA.

subsailor1968 −  NTA. However, this is why I keep friends and coworkers separate.

BackgroundCarpet1796 −  NTA. Honestly, just enjoy that they keeping distance from you. You have no obligation to invite coworkers to a party, and you didn’t outright told them “you hate them” or anything. Therefore there’s nothing for them to complain at HR.