AITAH for not going out to eat to celebrate my brothers wedding when I wasn’t even invited to his wedding?
Family celebrations can sometimes magnify old wounds—especially when you feel excluded from an important event. In this case, a 19‑year‑old brother explains that he wasn’t invited to his own brother’s wedding due to his age, with the excuse that the wedding was for those 21 and over because alcohol would be served.
Feeling hurt by this decision and after repeated refusals to be reconsidered, he chose not to attend the family dinner meant to celebrate the wedding. His reason was simple: why should he celebrate an occasion to which he wasn’t invited? While his parents are divided on the matter, his perspective raises an important question about loyalty, fairness, and whether celebrating an event that excluded you is something you really want to do.
‘AITAH for not going out to eat to celebrate my brothers wedding when I wasn’t even invited to his wedding?’
Expert Opinion:
Family and relationship experts often emphasize that feeling hurt by exclusion is natural. Dr. John Gottman has noted that “when individuals feel left out of significant family events, it can lead to lasting feelings of resentment and alienation”.
In this instance, the brother’s reaction—declining to attend the dinner—can be seen as an expression of that hurt. Meanwhile, experts like Dr. Susan Johnson suggest that while open communication about these feelings is important, sometimes the best course is to set clear boundaries that protect one’s emotional well‑being.
His decision not to join in the celebration is a boundary statement: he’s not obligated to participate in events celebrating milestones from which he was excluded, even if it might seem like a chance for family reconciliation.
Here’s what Redditors had to say:
A look at similar discussions online shows a split response. Many in the Reddit community agree with the brother’s logic, arguing that if you aren’t invited, it’s perfectly reasonable to abstain from celebrating. One common sentiment is, “You shouldn’t be forced to celebrate something that excludes you—it only reinforces the hurt.” Others, however, express a hope that he might consider attending the dinner as a gesture of goodwill to keep family ties intact, even if it feels awkward. The overall consensus leans toward understanding his decision as a valid emotional response to an unfair situation.
Many would say NTA—you have every right to feel hurt and to choose not to celebrate an event where you were intentionally excluded. Your feelings are valid, and your decision to skip the dinner is a clear stand against what you perceive as unjust treatment.
However, this situation also opens the door for a broader conversation: Should family celebrations include those who feel alienated, or is it better to wait until wounds can be healed before attempting to reconcile? How do you balance personal hurt with the desire for family unity? Share your thoughts and experiences below—your perspective might help others navigate similar family dilemmas.