AITAH for not giving my sister my spot in a prestigious summer program?

A Reddit user shares a story about being accepted into a prestigious summer program that she worked tirelessly for over two years. When her older sister, who had never shown interest in the field before, didn’t get in, she asked the user to give up her spot.

The Redditor refused, stating that it was something she had earned. Now, her family is pressuring her to be the “bigger person” and let her sister have the spot. Is she in the wrong for standing her ground? Read the full story below to learn more.

‘ AITAH for not giving my sister my spot in a prestigious summer program?’

I (20F) recently got accepted into a competitive summer program that I’ve worked hard for over the past two years. It’s something I’ve poured hours into building my portfolio, attending workshops, and sacrificing a lot of my free time.

My sister (23F), who has never shown any interest in this field before, also applied on a whim but didn’t get in. When she found out I was accepted, she asked me to give her my spot because she thinks it would “look better on her resume” and that I could “just apply again next year.”

I told her no, explaining that this is something I’ve worked toward for years and that I’m not giving it up just because she wants it now. She called me selfish and told our parents, who are now pressuring me to “be the bigger person” and let her have the opportunity since I’m younger and have more time to try again.

I’m standing my ground, but now everyone’s making me feel like a terrible person for prioritizing something I’ve worked so hard for. AITAH?

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

SebrinePastePlaydoh −  NTA… your sister didn’t meet the acceptance criteria, you did. Sister may be your parents’ golden child, but she’s not the golden child for the program. (Heck, is admittance even transferable? Wouldn’t the program get to decide who an open spot would go to?)

Square-Minimum-6042 −  To the people running the program, you and your sister are not interchangeable. They already rejected her.

MissMandaRegrets −  NTA. Why would you explain anything?? Laugh in her face and walk away. If she really wants it, she can work hard and apply next year, herself. “Be the bigger person” is code for “make my life easier by being a doormat.” Don’t be a doormat. Their chosen life quality is not your problem.

Expensive_Visual_594 −  Wow. They should be monumentaly embarrassed and ashamed of themselves. Not good role models for you. I would go to the program and never look back. Good for you. Amazing. 

Select-Anxiety-1557 −  NTA. And your parents are delusional. Just because you drop out doesn’t mean your sister will automatically fill the spot because she shares DNA with the original recipient.

Banana-phone15 −  I don’t understand why are you even debating or arguing about this with your family. You are filling this spot by demonstrating that you deserve it, but it is not yours to give. You can drop out, but, this doesn’t mean you get to decided who your replacement will be.

Explain this to your parents & your sister that if you drop out, someone else who is equally deserving will take your place, not your sister. & those decisions are out of your or your sister’s hand. As those decision are made by admins of the program.. NTA

verminiusrex −  NTA. You can’t give your sister your spot, if you drop out they’ll extend the invitation to whomever almost made the cut but didn’t. Sounds like your sister isn’t even on the runner up list.

diminishingpatience −  NTA. That’s not how things work. She called me selfish and told our parents, who are now pressuring me to “be the bigger person” and let her have the opportunity. Now we know why she’s like she is. “Bigger person” means “doormat.”

sneerfuldawn −  NTA. Also bold of her to assume that by giving up your spot that she’ll be the one to receive it. If it’s competitive and she hasn’t worked for it, it seems unlikely that she is next in line for consideration.

Stand your ground and don’t let your family b**ly you into decisions, especially regarding your future. You’ve worked hard and deserve this opportunity. Don’t let them or anyone else make you feel guilty for putting yourself first.

AutumnFirefly28 −  NTA. You put in the hard work to get accepted, she didn’t. You giving up your spot doesn’t mean she’s guaranteed to get it. If it’s as competitive as you say, the organisers will probably have a waitlist of people who they’ll pick from who are more qualified than your sister.

Was it unfair for the user to refuse to give up her spot, or should she have prioritized family over her own hard work? Share your thoughts below!