AITAH for not forgiving my high-school b**ly?
A Reddit user (25F) attended a high-school reunion and encountered her long-time bully, who had tormented her for years, causing lasting physical and emotional scars. After receiving an apology from the bully, the user rejected it, leading to backlash from old friends and even teachers.
The user now questions whether she is in the wrong for refusing to forgive someone who caused her so much pain. Read on for the emotional struggle of facing past trauma and how to handle apologies that feel insincere.
‘ AITAH for not forgiving my high-school b**ly?’
I(25F) recently had a high-school reunion and I met up with past classmates. I then see my high-school b**ly staring directly at me. We’ll call her Jane. So Jane bullied me for 8 years. It started in grade 5,all throughout middle and high-school. She did some very awful things to me.
I was diagnosed with alopecia when I was 10 and she always used to pick on me but in tenth grade she crossed the line by cutting a huge chunk of my hair when I was sleeping. I didn’t even know until my friend pointed it out. She also used to beat me and take pictures of me when I’m beat up.
She’d livestream her and her friends beating me up in the girls washroom. Then she came over to me and said “Hey I(not stating my name) I just wanted to say I’m sorry and I was in the wrong so can you forgive me?”. I simply said “no” and she asked why. What does she mean why she gave me permanent scars on my body.
I have this huge scar on my abdomen because she cut it with the sharp end of a scissor. All of her and my old friends started calling me annoying and saying that I can’t move on. They also started saying you can’t get over things. Even the teachers. I left as soon as possible. Never going back again so the real question is AITAH?
Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:
Zorrosmama − NTA Forget halfhearted apologies- multiple charges should have been filed against her for a**ault.
HarryM7599 − Absolutley NTA, don’t back down I would have responded the same.
Secret_Sister_Sarah − If this is real, obviously NTA. (Though no actual friends would EVER tell you to just move on from getting physically cut, beaten up and bullied in school… these girls are bullies, too)
TheGod-TK − NTA. They sound like horrible people, all of them. Bullies should never be forgiven. You said you have permanent scars, that’s fucked up. How did she never get in trouble?
IndependentKindly901 − NTA she is not entitled to your forgiveness. Especially with her half-assed apology. Her reaction shows she hasn’t grown up or learned anything. She is showing no remorse for what she put you through. If she did she would apologize without expecting forgiveness.
Smooth_Security4607 − NTA – she should have been in jail for assaulting you like that.
WolfofMandalore2010 − NTA. The “Even the teachers” line was the worst part of this for me. I was thankfully never bullied in school, but I’m continuously confused/disgusted by the countless Reddit stories I’ve read where the OP was bullied incessantly in school, and teachers and other authority figures did f**k all about it.
swoopingturtle − NTA. Obviously she has not changed
Liu1845 − I have never gone to a class reunion. I didn’t like my classmates then and I’m sure they haven’t improved much.. NTA
stefaniki − You tell them you have moved on, they need to accept the consequences of their actions, that what they did to you is unforgivable and they have to live with it. You tell them they no longer exist to you and haven’t since graduation.
Forgiveness is a deeply personal decision, especially when the trauma involved has lasting effects. The user made it clear that the pain inflicted on her is not easily overlooked.
Was she wrong to refuse forgiveness, or is it justified to stand firm when the apology feels insufficient for the harm caused? What would you have done in her shoes? Share your thoughts in the comments below!