AITAH for not attending my sister’s wedding because of her “child-free” rule?

A man (34M) recently chose not to attend his sister’s (29F) wedding due to her strict “child-free” rule. As a single dad to a 6-year-old son, he couldn’t find anyone to care for his child and asked his sister for help.

Even offering to hire a sitter, but his sister refused. She claimed it violated the spirit of the rule. Now, his family is calling him selfish for missing her big day, and his sister is furious. Was he wrong for standing his ground? Read the original story below…

‘ AITAH for not attending my sister’s wedding because of her “child-free” rule?’

So, my (34M) sister (29F) recently got married. It was a huge, fancy event, and she spent the past year planning every single detail. One of her main rules was that it would be a child-free wedding. I completely understand and respect that; it’s her wedding, her rules.

Here’s the thing: I’m a single dad to my son (6M). I don’t have much of a support system, and his mom isn’t in the picture. When I got the invite, I told my sister I’d love to come but explained my situation. I asked if there was any way I could bring my son or, if not, if she’d be willing to help me cover a babysitter for the day since it would require an overnight trip.

She shut both ideas down immediately, saying, “It’s not her responsibility” and to “figure it out like everyone else.” Fair enough. But I genuinely couldn’t find anyone to watch him. I even offered to hire a sitter to stay with him in the hotel during the ceremony and reception, but my sister still said no, claiming it “violated the spirit” of her child-free rule.

So, I let her know I couldn’t make it. She was furious and told me I was being selfish, that I should’ve “made it work.” The wedding went on, and I didn’t attend. Now my entire family is blowing up my phone, calling me an a**hole for missing such an important day.

My sister won’t speak to me, and my parents are saying I should’ve “tried harder” or “just left him with someone for one night.” AITAH for standing my ground and not going when I couldn’t bring my son or find a sitter?

These are the responses from Reddit users:

miyuki_m −  NTA. Your sister is allowed to decide who is invited to her wedding, but since she chose not to allow any children, she has to understand if people who have children can not attend. It was an invitation, not a command.

SgtHardwood −  If you sort by new, 80% of the posts apparently missed the massive bolded edit at the top and are still replying to the ChatGPT output as if it were a real post. What an amazing time to be on reddit.

Worldly_Act5867 −  She’s not in charge of what you do at your hotel. The audacity of her to say that wouldn’t work.. She can eat rocks.

maineCharacterEMC2 −  You did everything you could do. It sounds like your sister actually didn’t want you there.

quizzicalturnip −  NTA. Part of parenting is outing your child before other people. I’ve missed a couple weddings for the same reason. When people have child-free weddings they have to accept that some people just can’t make it. You did the right thing, and your son is very lucky to have such an attentive and caring father. Ignore your family. Your son comes first.

LLD615 −  NTA. Your sister wasn’t an AH either UNTIL she shot down the idea of a sitter watching them in the hotel room. You found a compromise so that the child wouldn’t be at the wedding but so that you could still come and she said no – That’s where she became the AH. Like what did your family expect you to do, use a 3D printer to make a babysitter?!

I had a child free wedding and knew I may have some people who couldn’t attend. We had a two year engagement and it gave guests two years to find child care. One couple and one single parent didn’t attend. I offered to pay for a sitter for them for all the kids at one location and they all declined so I expect it was kind of an easy out for them.

DELILAHBELLE2605 −  I swear I have seen this posted before. No way did she say you could not have a sitter in your hotel room. Violates the spirit of what? Fake post.

Fredredphooey −  NTA. I seriously don’t understand how she objected to having your kid floors away in the hotel where he wouldn’t be a bother to anyone. That’s just insane and rude and silly. 

ReeReeIncorperated −  Ngl this post 100% made me realize how accurate the dead Internet theory is. Sort by new and see just how many people are responding to this post as if the edit wasn’t there. They are all bots and that is actually problematic

Was he wrong to prioritize his son over his sister’s wedding? Should he have found a way to attend or respected his sister’s wishes more? Share your perspective in the comments below!