AITAH for losing it on my roommate for trashing my newborn’s formula?

A Reddit user, a 20-year-old single mother, has been living with her 26-year-old roommate, who also has a child. The user exclusively feeds her 12-week-old baby Nutramigen formula due to medical reasons, but her roommate disagrees with her parenting choices, particularly regarding breastfeeding. The situation escalated when the roommate, upset about the formula, threw away several cans of it, calling it “poison.”

This led to a heated confrontation where the Redditor screamed at her roommate and locked herself in her room with her baby. Afterward, her mother suggested she had acted poorly. The Reddit user is now questioning whether her reaction was justified or if she overreacted. Read the full story below.

‘ AITAH for losing it on my roommate for trashing my newborn’s formula?’

I can’t believe I’m posting this but I’m so angry and frustrated. I (20f) rent a room from my roommate (26f) dad. She is a single mother, I’m a single mother. I have a 12 week old baby who is exclusively on nutramigen formula. For those who don’t know nutramigen is really expensive and the WIC I get barely covers the cost of formula and the fresh food I’m alloted to get with WIC. My daughter is so colicky and has never been happy since she was born.

I know this sucks for my roommate and her own kid (who’s 2) I do my best to keep my daughter calm and happy but her doctor said she’s just an unhappy baby and will grow out of it. I had to put her in daycare at 6 weeks old and I currently work retail for barely above minimum wage (which is $7.25 in my state lmao) so it’s been a struggle.

My roommate has some different parenting beliefs. her kid still breastfeeds when they want to, she believes in delayed vaccines, is vegetarian but wants to go vegan with her kid, etc. a lot of woo-woo stuff, which if it works for her and her kid, great! I literally stay in my room with my daughter 90% of the time because she tries to “convince” me that I’m doing things wrong. Like when my daughter spits up/projectile vomits or has a blow out, i should be giving her oatmeal baths instead of using baby aveeno type s**t lol.

To make a really long story short, she has never liked the fact I didn’t want to breastfeed my daughter. I tried in the hospital, and was told by a lactation consultant that it would be difficult, my daughter has a tongue tie and weak latch and formula would probably be best. So on to formula we went.

The similac formula the hospital gave me gave my daughter bloody poops, so her doctor had me try nutramigen and yay, it was something she can keep down 50% of the time. she still spits up or vomits and my roommate will make s**tty comments about how if I breastfed, she wouldn’t be so sick, I’m poisoning her with formula, etc I just roll my eyes and try to avoid her in the common areas of her house.

I get home today after working and my daughter is hungry, cry screaming her head off (daycare worker said she refused her last bottle at daycare and she threw up on the car ride home) and I’m looking for her formula cans and cant find them. I just start yelling where the f**k is her formula because my roommate likes to change around the kitchen items like groceries in the pantry or pots and pans and it always stresses me out.

My roommate walked into the kitchen and said she got rid of it. I yelled at her what the f**k do you mean you got rid of it. she yelled back that she couldn’t stand to see me feed my baby poison any longer and had to do something about it. She pointed to the trash can and i opened it up and saw the powder in the trash where she had just opened up the formula cans and dumped them.

I just lost my s**t and screamed at her and told her she needed to replace my daughters formula right the f**k now. Her dad pays her bills and he makes an extra $600 a month off me not including utilities. I dont have mommy or daddy’s tit to s**k on and live off of. She started yelling back at me that I couldn’t talk to her that waay in her own house and I had to go. 

grab my daughter who’s still in her carseat and start going to my room where I can lock the door and my roommate grabbed the carseat handle and tried to yank my daughter away from me. I yelled at her again to not f**king touch my daughter and ended up locking us both in the room.

After I calmed down a bit I ended up calling my mom to see if I could borrow money to get my daughter more formula until I get paid next week. I explained everything to my mom got angry all over again. My mom asked why did i yell at my roommate and i should have “kept my composure” better and said I get what I deserve if I end up homeless with my daughter lmao.

I don’t f**king know any more. I don’t think i am but my mom sure made me feel like one. I gotta get tf out of here for both our sakes. Aitah here reddit?

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Nvnv_man −  Go file a police report TODAY. This is theft, for sure, tampering with food, and given that it’s WIC, it might be a major fine. Talk to the police about your situation, ask for resources for new mothers in dire straights—given that you’re in a hostile environment with a newborn, they’ll likely find you qualify for battered women’s shelter (free). They will provide you with formula. In no world are you the AH. But take steps to protect you and your child, IMMEDIATELY.

*Edit: you’re living in an environment where someone has committed crimes: to intentionally try to starve your child and attempted a**ault. You must press charges, and you must not return to such a place. You will qualify for battered women’s home, and they will also be able to get you food. It’s not a permanent solution, but it will work tonight and likely for couple of months. They can then help arrange a new living situation for you.*

Impossible-Cap-7150 −  NTA. That formula is expensive as hell and she had absolutely no right to touch anything of yours, much less completely make it unusable! You had what I consider to be a totally normal reaction. And yes, you definitely need to get away from this person asap.

ChaoticCrashy −  Call the police immediately. Report the crime of the formula in the trash. Ask for help, as there is help available. Protect your child from this woman. It’s your child and your duty to protect her.. NTA.

Pretty_Goblin11 −  Dude call your landlord and tell him what happened. Demand she pay for new formula. Your NTA. You handled it well because when I was your age and someone tried to grab my baby or messed with my babies food we would have big problems.

RedneckDebutante −  Police report! It’s not like you’re still producing breastmilk, so what was her plan for feeding your child????

SoMoistlyMoist −  I would like to know just what the f**k is wrong with your mother also, saying that s**t to you?

shammy_dammy −  Police report. And possibly a small claims suit.

JuliaX1984 −  Call the cops and report the theft.

DesertofConcrete −  If this is real then you need to get the police involved. If she tried to grab your daughter from you like that after stealing her food then I’m worried for your safety and your daughters safety.

JTBlakeinNYC −  You need to move out. She is literally trying to starve your child. How the hell does she not know that you can’t exclusively breastfeed now because your milk will have largely dried up after not nursing for so long?

Do you think the Reddit user’s reaction was justified given the emotional and financial stress she was under, or was she too harsh in this situation? How would you handle a similar conflict with a roommate, especially regarding differing parenting choices? Share your thoughts in the comments below!